This has been a week in which my best intentions were thwarted, and I received feedback from a couple of trustworthy sources that I wasn’t “on my game.” Email was part of it, but I also gave out the wrong time for a class, failed to prepare properly for a meeting, and spent too much time working on stuff that wasn’t all that important.

Stressful? You bet.

My high standards are where the problem started. When I made my first flub of the week, the little Gremlin of Self-Judgment perched on my shoulder and whispered some not-very-nice things about me.

When I made my second flub, the whisper became a stern repartee.

It only got worse from there. I mean, seriously! I was counting my errors! By the end of the week, I was buried in self-judgment, exhausted, and feeling rather insecure about my competence as a business owner.

Thank God I’m normal.

If people I admire didn’t tell me they have weeks just like this, I would be really scared. But I know it’s normal.

If anything, making a few gaffes this week illustrates how far I’ve come as a cluttered creative person. I used to forget things daily. I was constantly late, making excuses and tearfully begging forgiveness. My teachers never knew how to grade me at the end of a semester because (although I participated enthusiastically in class) I’d never turned in any homework.

I have come a long way.

What trips me up

When I start forgetting things, I use it against myself. As evidence.

That nasty gremlin is out to prove that I’ll always be that disorganized girl. It says, “You think you’re so organized, we’ll just see, shall we?!”

And then I make another mistake. “See?? Ha! Ha! You ARE the same person you’ve always been! You’ll never be organized!” And then I make even more mistakes.

Ugh.

Ever been there? It totally sucks.

What I do (and maybe you might like to try too)

The other day, I had a nice talk with my wonderful, sensitive uncle and friend — who also happens to facilitate non-violent communication (NVC) groups. Uncle Tim caught me off guard when he used a term I’d never heard before, “self-empathy”. When he said it, little bells rang gleefully inside my heart.

Self-empathy!

I don’t know how the official NVC technique works, but yesterday when I “caught” myself making a mistake and entertaining that nasty gremlin, I took a deep breath — and this is what I said to myself:

“Jen, you are having a hard week. You’re feeling badly about not showing up the way you want to with people you really love. You’re feeling really embarrassed for missing connections and for giving incorrect information. It’s okay to feel sad and embarrassed and disappointed.

“You’re human. It’s okay to make mistakes and not to be perfect. You are doing the best you can right now. I want to remind you that your heart is in the right place. Forgive yourself for making these ‘errors’. Don’t let your past determine your future, okay? You can start fresh, right now. You are a good human being and I love you.”

I wiped away a few tears, took a deep breath… and sat for a while with a nice cup of tea. It was such a different way of talking with myself, and I could feel peace settling into my heart, where doubt and anxiety had been.

Compassion is a powerful tool for creating order

What I am slowly discovering is that the more compassionate I am with myself, the more productive I am. It sounds anti-intuitive, but judgment makes my spirit shrivel up and escalates stress. When I am compassionate with myself, I feel free. I have choices and see opportunities to adjust my actions creatively.

Of course, this is about organizing, but it’s also more than that. The truth is, no amount of order creates happiness. Only you can create happiness. So, while you’re on the path to becoming more organized and less cluttered, why not offer yourself the compassion and self-empathy you crave — and so rightly deserve?

Thoughts? Yeah, buts? Me toos?

It’s a perfect question for busy entrepreneurs, too.

Here’s what I do when I’m having a bad day:

Connect.

This is a nice way of saying, “vent”. I prefer to call it problem analysis, but the intention is to reach out to another human being to share what’s bothering me. A little empathy goes a long way.

Unplug.

If I’m having a bad day and I’m not productive as a result, I take a good look at the calendar and take off the rest of the day — away from the computer.

Zone out.

That might mean I play Wii, eat chocolate, read, journal, pet the cats… or do some activity that helps me self-nourish and fill up the energetic stores.

Reflect.

Sometimes I have a bad day because I’ve been doing too much and need to retreat. So I ask myself, “Where is this coming from? What do you need?” Those few moments of reflection can make a big difference if I act on my discoveries.

What do YOU do when you’re having a bad day that you wish were over?

Perspective.

If you peek into a day in the life of the average entrepreneur you’ll see email, social networking, appointments, bills, writing, more email, returning messages, home-life interruptions, and more.

Ever-present is the feeling that there’s not enough time to do it all – and the urge to get some space to sort it all out. Is any of this busy work helping?

Here’s what I do to get perspective

• Quarterly 4-day retreats – Back in September, I acknowledged that if I didn’t change how I ran myself in my biz, my head would likely blow up. Making a commitment to quarterly retreats seemed huge and scary. Now that I’ve already been on 2 of them, I’m finding that I feel emotionally and spiritually replenished AND I have more clarity about where I’m going and what I’m doing in my work. Now I’m unapologetic about taking that much time “off”.

• Monthly weekend retreats - This year I’m experimenting with a monthly overnight retreat in addition to the quarterly ones. My first one is at the end of January. Expect a good report.

• Weekly check-ins – As I type this, I’m thinking that this “quarterly/monthly/weekly” thing might sound too structured to you. It’s arbitrary, but helps me bring a rhythm to the ritual of stepping out of the “daily” and looking at the big picture.

Anyway, I meet weekly by phone with one of the coolest bizbuds ever. Marissa and I check in on last week’s progress and then work for a few hours together on our separate projects. At the end of our call, we state aloud our goals for the coming week.

Having someone who really sees what’s happening in my biz, helps me set realistic goals, and who looks forward to my progress updates (and I hers) motivates me like nothing else.

• The 2 column list – Also a weekly thing on Mondays, I stand up to write this list of “steps I will do this week or delegate to the divine” which gives me physical perspective (instead of sitting hunched at my desk) and a feeling of authority. It’s easy to read from my desk, so I can decide what to work on next that gets me closer to my goals.

Here’s what’s in the works

• Long term destination – Inspired by a recent talk by Robert Fritz, I realized that I want a clearer definition of where I and my biz are headed in the next 5 years. Something visible and, better yet, tangible. I don’t know how or what it is yet (and that’s just fine), realizing and naming that I want it will help me create it.

What do you do that gives you perspective?

Your turn! If you’d like, please share what you’re doing that helps you get perspective in your business and/or life – and also something that you’re working on/experimenting with.

Your comments on your own process are welcome. Just remember to give advice to me or others only when it’s specifically requested. This makes exploring safe and learning possible for every reader.

Before you think I’m obsessed with dry, boring organizy stuff, think about it. When you work alone, it’s easy to go unconscious about what your work flow is really like. I wanted to be at least partly aware – with a chance of productivity.

Last week, I also promised to check in today about how it went and what I discovered.

How it went

The simple act of writing down the time when I switched activities was quite illuminating! After 5 days, I’m more mindful of what I’m doing moment to moment. Sometimes writing things down even helped me stop frittering and get back on task. That wasn’t the intention, but a nice side effect.

Between doing this process and writing the God List this week, I’ve felt really productive and gotten many more things accomplished than I normally do. It’s actually been a banner week – and even my mastermind buds are impressed!

What I discovered

• The cats and turtles are ADD nightmares. They interrupt me at least 3-4x/day. In fact, I’m typing one0handed right now with a kitten in my other arm. I love them, but they’re not productivity allies.
• I go on email, facebook or twitter to get info – and get sidetracked by other grabby things. “Oh, I’ll just check to see who emailed/tweeted/messaged me.” Riiight.
• I think I might over-edit my writing. I might even be a bit perfectionistic (if you are related to me, you’re not allowed to comment on this). ; )
• There are a couple of people I check in with during my day, just to say how I’m doing and find out how they are.
• Wrapping-up after meeting with a client takes longer than I thought.
• I do personal stuff during my work day (like send messages to old friends from high school).
• In 5 days, I worked 48.75 hours.
• I sometimes spend a lot of time/energy trying to force myself to work on something that isn’t flowing, but not actually get much done. Want an example?

The following is an example of me trying to edit a webpage when I really didn’t want to:

10:50  Start working on the web page
10:56  Check calendar
10:57  Snack
11:05  Twitter, read a blog
11:12  Back to working on web page
11:30 Twitter (Argh! Don’t want to work on that page!)
11:33  Back to web page
11:39  Facebook
11:41  Back to web page
12:05 Twitter
12:06  Facebook
12:08  Back to web page

Fortunately, I did actually complete it. You can see for yourself if you like:

In addition to productivity, the analysis yielded some interesting data on my use of Twitter and Facebook.

• In 5 days, I spent 271 minutes on Facebook and Twitter (roughly 54 minutes a day).
• Some-to-most of that time was business-related or networking time.
• On average, I go on Twitter 7 times a day and Facebook 5 times.
• My time on each site is usually 1-4 minutes – with rare 20-30 minute distraction marathons.
• I don’t usually go on either site before 11am (which happens to be my most productive time of day).
• I usually check Twitter before Facebook

The moral of the story

The goal here isn’t to judge what I’ve discovered. As I mentioned in the other post, the goal is simply to be curious – and notice if there are changes I want to make.

Same for you. : ) If you’d like to discover how much time you spend of social networking or what your most productive times of the day are, give this process a whirl. Be gentle with yourself about your discoveries.

Upcoming changes

Based on what I’ve observed so far, there are 3 things I’d like to tweak and see what happens:

1. Client appointments: Schedule a half-hour after each client appointment for wrapping up notes and transitioning.
2. Work hours: Keep the work day to 9 hours, including breaks, as I get less productive as the day wears on.
3. Stuckness: If I’m feeling stuck on a project – instead of twittering – I’ll try walking away from it for a little while, jumping around, or connecting with a bizbud to talk it out.

I’ll play with these for a while and see what happens. How about you? What’s your next step?

Thoughts? Yeah, buts? Me, toos?

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When it comes to creating order in your workspace, sometimes it’s the smallest changes that have the greatest positive impact on your work and well-being.

I discovered an assumption recently that I consider it “free time” when I don’t have a task or appointment scheduled on my calendar. I was frittering away perfectly good work time watching Ellen videos and reading Facebook – and then wondering why I wasn’t getting anything done. Yipes!

Three weeks ago, I started a new practice that is benefiting both my productivity and spirituality.

It has so revolutionized my focus, that I thought I’d share it with you in case you want to try it.

A disclaimer

Now, before you go thinking I’m a genius, I’ll tell you that someone else thought of this before I did. In Abraham-Hicks, they call it the ‘placemat technique’. What I’m doing is a variation on that theme… without the manifest-y stuff. And also with a different outcome. But it’s similar. Aaaanyway…

Big, colorful, and grape-scented

I needed some structure with my work flow.

Since I’m a tactile learner, I love to use huge pieces of paper and sweeping movements with my whole body to think and plan. I am also a raving fan of those fruit-scented magic markers. Mmm. Strawberry… Lime… Blueberry… Sorry, I digress.

Anyway, I like to use these tools and methods because they’re so natural and fun for me. So I decided to use them with the intention of focusing better when I have unscheduled work time.

Monday morning magic markers

At the beginning of the week, I reflect on what goals I want to move forward. I check my calendar to see how much free time I actually have to work on these projects.

Then, using 2′x3′ Post-It(c) flip chart paper, I create two columns. The first column says “Jen” – and I write down the things I’d really like to do in the next 5 days. This week, for example, it looks like this:

Jen:

• Plan steps for 4HS
• Meet with Marketing Director (me)
• Prep for smARTist event
• Plan to update December expenses/income
• Update pricing on website
• Write article for newsletter

I hang this colorful, fruity paper on the wall next to my desk. When I find myself getting distracted or confused about what I want to be doing, it’s right there. When I finish something, I use another marker and cross it off.

It’s amazing how something so simple can help me be so focused and productive.

What’s in the other column?

I mentioned that there are 2 columns. The second column says “God”. This is one of the most amazing, radical things I’ve ever done in my business. I’m delegating stuff to the Divine.

Now, maybe you’re thinking I’m being blasphemous or that all the recent retreats to the Abbey have made an impact on me. Maybe both are true.

But here’s the thing. Stuff happens every day that I cannot handle. I can’t handle it because I don’t understand it, or it frightens me, or I feel huge resistance to dealing with it. This happens for everyone. Every day. Conflict happens. Surprises happen. Things fall through.

All the stuff I cannot handle

At 3:45am, guess what I do? I wake up and start to worry about all of it. It sucks. Maybe you can relate.

Lately, I’ve started to realize that not a single bit of worrying I’ve ever done has ever changed a thing.

If anything, worry has made matters worse. “What if I don’t make enough money this month?” turns into awkward conversations with loved ones. “Do I have anything to wear tomorrow?” turns into a panicky morning and an uncomfortable day. “Is she mad at me?” et cetera – you know what I mean?

Worrying, no matter how skilled I am at it, is not helping me – or my business.

Drrrrrop it…

As a kid, I remember playing with a friend’s young golden retriever. “Sensi, drop it.” She had a tennis ball, but she wouldn’t obey. I didn’t yell, I just said it calmly, persistently, over and over, “Drrrrrop it, Sensi. Drrrrrop it. Drop. Sensi, drop it. Drrrrrrrop it.”

And some days, I think that’s exactly what God must be saying to me. “Drrrrrrop it, Jen. Drop. Jen, drrrrrop it. ”

My ego really, really wants to hang on to control and try to handle everything. Yet there’s a deeper place in me that wants to hand over the scary stuff and the confusing stuff and the hard stuff. And maybe pick it up later when I feel more ready.

So I started this practice of writing a God List every week, along with my own to-dos, to practice dropping it and actively handing it over.

This week, it looks like this:

God:

• bill paying system
• my week “off”
• hard drive backup
• too much to do

If it’s on this list, it means I have NO idea what to do about it and I’m not sure what my next step is. Because it’s on God’s list, I don’t have to worry. I delegated it. It’ll get dealt with.

I’ll bet you know what’s coming next, but I’m still amazed. After 3 weeks, everything I’ve delegated to God so far has gotten resolved. Inspired Spouse’s broken laptop. Feeling overwhelmed. Snarly budget stuff. I don’t know why it has worked out this way. In fact, I don’t need to know. It just has.

All from writing God a to-do list in watermelon-scented marker.

A word on names: If you wanted to try this yourself, it doesn’t really matter what your religious views are. Instead of a God List, you could write a to-do list for the Universe. Or the Divine. Or the Earth. Or Love. There are thousands of names for the Thing That is Bigger Than Us. I just picked one that works for me.

The lesson

Practice taking conscious ownership of the things you can handle – and purposely giving away the rest to Something Bigger. Scary? You bet. But it’s worth it. It’s clutter-clearing for the spirit.

Thoughts? Yeah, buts? Me toos?

I’m tracking my time. Conventional wisdom says that it isn’t the big things in life that suck away our time, but the smallest, barely noticeable ones.

This week, I’m testing that theory. I tweeted about it today and enough people asked that I’m explaining it here in detail.

Warning 1: I issue a challenge at the end of this post. It might be fun.

Warning 2: If you’re hoping for sophistication, look elsewhere. Low-tech suggestions follow.

You’re self-employed. Why are you doing a time analysis?

Some days I work my tail off and have nothing to show for it. I’m 100% ON at my desk for 7-9 hours and I get -squat- completed. And I have no idea why. My business is my livelihood, though, and I have big goals for the year.

Because I’m nerdy like that, I’m doing an analysis. I have a theory about where the time is going, but I’d like to get good, raw data first before I make any adjustments.

The method:

I’m ignoring the other conventional wisdom that says to write down what you do every 15 minutes. I have ADD. I will forget what I did 15 minutes ago. I will also forget 15 minutes have passed. But my ego will want to fill in the blanks later which elicits useless, made-up information.

Instead, I’m writing the time when I switch from one activity to the next. It looks like this:

You probably can’t read it, so here’s a sample:

• 7:56   Prep mailing
• 8:07   Bead making frustration
• 8:13   Clean up cat stuff
• 8:15   Facebook – re: cats
• 8:16   Back to mailing
• 8:22  Out to mailbox

You get the picture. I did it yesterday and have two whole pages of information. Nerdy bliss!

The key:

Curiosity is the key. If I tried doing this with an attitude of judgment and self-hatred, it would only hurt me and I’d quit. Instead, I’m practicing being genuinely curious about how I work, what I do, where my attention goes and how often.

Already I’ve noticed that I switch tasks every 10 minutes or less. I almost wrote “I switch tasks frequently”, but even “frequently” is a judgment. Sticking to facts makes me more curious. I start wondering, “How many minutes, exactly?” Which elicits information I can use.

A challenge (if you’re up for it)

I’m going to post in a week to share what I discovered from this process and what tweaks I might make to my work flow.

If you’re willing to play along, do a time analysis one day next week – any kind you like. Then reply to my post on Friday to share what you learned.

Would you like to play?

Do you remember the last time you took a walk in the woods?

Maybe you can recall the quality of the light, the views and scenes that passed you, the kinds of plants and trees along the way, or the companions who accompanied you. There’s something meditative about the woods.

Practically speaking, most people find that a walk in the woods is fairly easy to do. You simply choose a place to begin and then start walking. It’s so obvious how to take a walk in the woods that it hardly seems worthwhile to explain it.

You just start.

You don’t worry about step 247 or bridge number 2 or the fourth squirrel. You just walk.

Organizing is like that too.

Organizing is just like a walk in the woods. You begin. You take a single step forward – and another – and another, pausing occasionally to take in the sights.

Except when it isn’t.

Unlike walking in the woods, people do get stressed about where to put things (step 247) or how to deal with email (bridge number 2) or dealing with time management (the fourth squirrel). When you worry about these things, it’s as though you’re standing stock still in the middle of the path with your eyes closed.

You can’t get there any faster by thinking so hard.

Just take a step.

Depending on the length of your legs, a single step happens in about a half-second. Is there something you can you do in your space today that would take a half-second?

The idea isn’t to get to the end of the trail in one fell swoop. Your legs aren’t that long – and neither is your attention span.

Maybe, just maybe, you’d be willing to take a “walk” through your workspace today, taking half-second actions to move what you can.

That fourth squirrel will appear when it’s supposed to and no amount of thinking will make it come faster.

Enjoy your walk.

Knowing I have a lot of un-replied-to emails in my inbox stresses me out. The story in my head is something like, “I should reply to people as soon as they email me.” But that is a very stressful (and unrealistic) expectation.

Replying to email promptly and sanely.

What is currently working well for me:

I have structures. Twice a day, 3 days a week, I’ve scheduled 30 minutes with my inbox. It’s written on my Google calendar and I get a little pop-up “ding dong!” 10 minutes before hand. That’s 3ish hours a week devoted to checking and answering email.

I have systems. When folks purchase The Wish Kit or sign up for my newsletter, I use a special auto-responder that sends them a confirmation email. I don’t have to be at my desk for them to receive what they ordered. It’s sweet. It’s fast.

The other system I recently implemented is setting up 1-on-1 appointments using timedriver.com (hat tip: Marissa Bracke). This has saved me countless back-and-forth emails trying to find a convenient meeting time across time zones. Whew!

What I’m currently working on:

I want to reply faster. Confession time. At the moment, I have emails awaiting responses that are over 3 weeks old. And one from Charlie Gilkey that’s from August. Please, please don’t compare yourself against this – what I’m getting at is the anxiety I feel from having a high volume of email and not replying as quickly as I’d like. Yuck.

It all goes back to the days when I was in school and trying to hide the fact that I’d forgotten to do my homework for the Nth time. Oh, the shame… Email makes me feel this way sometimes.

Differentiating between IHO emails and personal emails. All my emails come to one box. I don’t fritter a lot of time away on personal emails during work time, but I do forget to answer them entirely once the computer is shut off for the weekend.

3 hours a week isn’t enough. It’s hard, but it’s true. I think the remedy is in the next section.

Differentiating between informational email and work email. By this I mean that some emails are ones I can read and file easily. Done. Other emails are requests for work, for time, for attention. I cannot read and file these, because they’re incomplete. I’m still learning how to say no to some requests for my time and how to follow-through effectively on others.

How do YOU return email promptly?

Please share what works for you -  and what you’re still learning!

Your comments on your own process are welcome. House rules: Give advice to me or others only when it’s specifically requested. This makes exploring safe and learning possible for every reader.

Up ’til now, I’ve worked with a star-studded web designer and a wacky, biz-savvy CPA, but everything else in my business has been done by me and only me. That’s just how things work when you’re a start up.

Happily, things are growing and I’m starting to learn how to prioritize my time and talents. Can I learn to do everything myself? Sure. So can you. But is it advantageous in the long run? It becomes less so over time. So I’m starting to focus on what I naturally do best and planning to delegate what others can do better.

Here’s what I’m not doing

• I’m not using my credit card to hire support – because debt almost never helps a small business owner (just read the stats).
• I’m not hoping. Just hoping won’t help save me time or turn that time into profit.

What I am doing is planning. I have been for a while.

Save up your money

If you are going to bring someone into your business, save up some money to pay for his/her services. This slows down the process a little – but it’s actually a good thing. This time allows you to be thinking about what you’d like that person to do.

While you’re saving up the cash. You can notice and even write down systems that you’re currently using in your business. In addition, this planning will help you come into the conversation informed and purposeful instead of skidding in sideways, pleading for rescue.

Hire for ROI

This is a tough statement coming from a compassionate, loving person. Consider it tough love. If your little business is just getting off the ground, think sense. While it might be nice to have someone answer your emails for you or send twitter marketing messages for you, will you really be able to turn that into additional income? Really?

Speaking for myself, a cluttered creative, that hour of found time will be spent doing nonsense. You know it and I know it. I will chat on the phone a little longer, cut out of work early, and check out photos of my high school friends on Facebook. In other words, unless you’re extremely disciplined (I’m not), that time will disappear and the money you’ve paid someone else will go down the drain.

When I suggest hiring for ROI (return on investment), what I mean is: select a helper for your business that will actually generate income. Especially when you’re a one-person show. While I’m not yet sharing about the project at Inspired Home Office, it will help bring in additional revenue in a way that’s helpful and fun. I know how much it will cost and I have a fairly good sense of how long it will take to earn that money back.

Planning is key.

Hire on a project basis

I use the term “hire” loosely, of course. I’m specifically referring to the act of choosing an independent contractor to assist your business. In the best case scenario, you want an opportunity to get to know your chosen person over a period of time. It’s a little bit like dating.

Is this someone whose work represents your company well? Do your work styles fit? Is your communication together clear and productive? Like dating, it takes time to work these things out and get comfortable.

Sometimes it’s tempting to choose someone who will ride in on their white horse and rescue you. But then you discover that he/she snores or has annoying parents after you’ve committed to forever. It’s awkward – and hard for your business.

Start small. See if you like working together before buying rings and living happily ever after.

What thoughts and feelings do you have about hiring your first inspired helper?

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If you Google “How to choose a Virtual Assistant,” you’ll find oodles of posts giving you lists of “Things To Look For,” like professionalism, customer savvy, and tech skills. So when Jen asked me to write about finding a good VA, I decided not to do another spin on the usual list of What To Look For post. Instead, I put together the 5 tips I most often wish I could give to people considering or beginning the process of finding and hiring a VA.

And here they are: The Five Guiding Principles of Finding Your VA.

1. Know what you want.

This doesn’t have to be as daunting as it sounds! Rather than trying to sit down and make a list of tasks for a VA out of thin air, keep a notepad near your computer (or a page in Backpack, or a Word doc, etc.).

Whenever you come across a task or project that you realize you’d want or need someone else to handle, jot it down. Got an idea but not sure you’ve got the tech chops to make it happen? Add it to the list. Heard about a newsletter service you’d like to use but don’t want to learn it yourself? On the list it goes!

Give yourself a few weeks of doing this (or even a few months, depending on where you are in the needing-a-VA timeline) and then take a look at your list. What’s on it? Lots of Wordpress tweaks? You’ll want a VA who’s got expertise in Wordpress. A slew of customer service issues? Look for a VA that specializes in customer care. Mostly quick research and “look things up” tasks? You might do well with overseas VA firms that specialize in 15-minute-and-under tasks.

Paying attention to your list will help guide you to a VA that meets your needs, rather than one that has a lot of great qualifications and a great list of references, but doesn’t really line up with what you want.

2. Know why you want a VA.

Do you want a VA because you need assistance, or because you’ve been told that you should need assistance?

Do you want a VA because you could put your time and energy into high-impact activities if you weren’t trying to keep up with the administrative details, or because you’ve heard that you should outsource those details?

The unfortunate side effect of all of those “how to get more done” courses for small businesses is this pervasive notion that your small business isn’t complete or cannot be successful unless and until you get a VA and start outsourcing.

That isn’t true.

Don’t hire a VA because you “should.” Hire one because you want to, and because doing so fits with what feels right for your business. Don’t look for tasks to outsource because you’ve been told that certain tasks aren’t worth your time. Outsource because you’ve got certain projects or goals you want to put your energy toward and you want help taking care of the other tasks that absorb that energy.

The bottom line is that there isn’t a one-size-fits-all rule about small businesses “needing” VAs. Some reap huge benefits from a VA. Some sail along quite smoothly without ever outsourcing any of their administrative tasks.

If you’re looking for a VA because you’re feeling pressure to do so from the “shoulds” you’ve heard, go back to Step #1, and focus on that list. You may find that you don’t have one, or that you’re putting items on it only because you feel like you should. If that’s the case, it’s probably not the right time for you to hire a VA. (And that’s completely okay!) Hire a VA only when it’s right for you to do so–not because someone else has been “should-ing” all over your business.

3. Be aware of your budget, but don’t “bargain shop.”

Once you know what you want and you know that you’re looking for a VA because you need one (not because you “should”), it’s time to talk dollars and cents.

The range of VA prices is broad. You can find VA help for anywhere from $15 an hour on the lower end through $70 and $80 an hour for a highly-trained, “executive assistant” VA.

One mistake people often make is to shop for VAs like they shop for groceries: they assume that the quality is roughly the same, so the best price is probably the way to go. They want a bargain. They want an economy-size box of help at super-sale prices!

But VAs aren’t mass-manufactured food items. The fact that a VA is cheap isn’t necessarily the sign of a good deal and good value.

VAs who bargain-price their services often have a lower skill set and will require a great deal more of your time training him or her. If you want to save money in exchange for more upfront time outlay, that might work well. If you want to be able to hand things off and keep moving full steam ahead, it probably won’t.

If you want built-in expertise that requires little training or oversight from you, be prepared to pay for that. Keep in mind that what takes a $60-per-hour VA 30 minutes might take a $20-per-hour 2 hours, and what seemed like a bargain at first glance, might not be in practice.

Not all high-priced VAs are worth their high per-hour charge, just like not all lower-priced VAs are under-skilled. It’s a good way to get an at-a-glance gauge of what you might be getting (because, with VAs, you do usually get what you pay for), but let it be a piece of the overall picture, rather than the determining factor.

4. Talk to people who work with VAs–and to the VAs themselves.

There’s a limit to how much you can find out about a VA by looking at her website, her listing of services, and her prices. To get the scoop on what it’s like to work with a VA (and what it’s like working with specific VAs), you’ll need to ask.

Don’t be afraid to ask for peoples’ suggestions about VAs, especially if they’ve personally worked with VAs. Ask them for recommendations, and ask them about their experiences with the assistants they’ve hired. But most importantly, talk to the VAs!

If you find a VA that seems like she might be a good fit, email her. See if you can schedule a phone appointment with her. Ask her whatever questions you’ve got, and be open about your concerns too. If she doesn’t answer your questions or address your concerns in a way that feels sufficient or comfortable for you, move on to the next VA. There’s a lot of fish in the VA sea, and you don’t have to settle for the first one you find if it’s not a good fit.

Likewise, you don’t have to hire the one that your friend loves, or that your Twitter buddy adores. Getting their recommendations is a great starting point, but what works for them might not work for you, and that’s fine.

Which brings us to point 5…

5. Never underestimate the power of the “Click.”

If you’re going to work with someone on an ongoing basis, you’re going to want a “click.” You want someone whose work and communication styles fit with yours, so that you aren’t constantly struggling to “get” what she’s saying while she’s struggling to “get” what you’re wanting.

Look for a VA whose personality is a good fit with yours, and with your business. This is another reason talking to the VA before hiring her is so important: you want to get a feel for the person you’re working with, not just a list of her skills and certifications.

Your VA might not wind up being your best friend and the namesake of your future children. But she also doesn’t have to be a source of frustration for you or the reason you keep feeling like you’re doing something wrong. Remember that you aren’t a business entity looking to work with a set of administrative skills. You are a person looking to work with another person. The human elements of chemistry, personality and “click” matter!

How do these recommendations land for you? Thoughts? Questions?