Farewell to January

It’s almost the end of the month (thank heavens!)

If it were up to me, I’d give everyone the month of January off. I’d wave my magic wand and clear every calendar, enforce regular nap times, and pay all bills due. Yep. A whole month of vacation. Wouldn’t that rock?

Now that the resolution hoopla is finally over, the pressure’s off! We can recover from the January hype and urgency — and settle into a healthy pace. Whew! So glad THAT’s over for another year.

Truthfully, I’ve been grappling with mild depression all month — and I think it comes from a combination of insufficient sunlight and battling off the January “shoulds”. January is an INNER month. A reflection month. A store up starches so that we can bloom like crazy in springtime month.

It’s okay to be introverted. Especially in January. I’m making peace with this and learning to plan accordingly.

Planning organically for the upcoming year

While I’ve been playing at hibernation the last few weeks, I’ve also been planning like a crazy-woman and loving it. At this point, I have nothing to show for all this planning. There are at least 4 calendars in my office — some big, some small — all of them are helping me figure out how I want to spend my work and personal time. It’s totally awesome.

If I had any advice to share for the end of January, this would be it: Allow planning to be enough in its own right. Recognize the inherent value of contemplating your future before you step out into it.

What does your spirit cry out for?

Now through the month of February, immerse yourself deeply in this question: “What do I want?” And do something radical like really listen to what comes up when you ask it. This is your spirit’s longing speaking.

Knowing what you truly want this year does more than just help you create it. It helps you recognize what is expendable. Knowing what you want helps create the desire to release anything that doesn’t serve you — whether it’s clutter, or old books, or unhealthy beliefs, or soul-sucking projects, or people who don’t give you the respect you deserve. Knowing what you want makes saying “no” possible.

Discerning what you want is a powerful, precious gift that only you can give to yourself.

So I ask you: What do you want this year? Now that the January pressure is off, what is your spirit craving?

Do share your ideas below. I love hearing from you.

xo,
Jen

10 comments

How to get honest to goodness results on your 2009 intentions.

Have you been asked yet?

If you haven’t already, someone’s going to ask you, “What’s your New Year’s resolution this year?”

A lot of folks roll their eyes because they know that mid-February, we’ve forgotten when we’d even resolved to do.

Why the skepticism? Because changing is hard work. Ask anyone who’s tried and you’ll get ample commiseration.

Finding resolve

The problem with a resolution is that it’s just short of a wish. It can be a positive, healthy idea (losing 10 pounds, stopping nagging, volunteering, etc.) – but often lacks inherent motivation.

Instead of creating a resolution you’ll forget later – or rejecting the whole resolution idea entirely – why not set yourself up for success?

Getting traction

A resolution, first and foremost, must be something you’d love. If it’s punishment or a “should”, it just won’t stick. And then you’ll feel like a failure when you stop. I’ll bet you know that scenario already.

A resolution has to be something so compelling and delightful that you get excited just thinking about it.

Okay, but how does THAT work?

You have places in your life that you want to fix, right? But when you try to “fix” them, (ugh!) nothing happens. You resist. You lose momentum. You forget.

Don’t “fix.” Instead, resolve to do something you’d really love. Because when you allow yourself to do the things you love, suddenly the things you “should” do start getting done all by themselves. It’s magic.

It beats the alternative

You, me, we all do ourselves harm by wrenching our spirits into submission. By declaring that you’ll complete everything you start, for example, you hurt the part of you that needs flexibility. By resolving to clear out every last scrap of paper, you harm the part of you that needs rest.

Life isn’t linear – it’s a long series of course-corrections. So creating a loving, exciting resolution allows you to dance with the process instead of breaking your spirit. Resolving to do something compelling has a different energy and intention to it.

Hiding the pill in the bologna

It might be tempting to play a little game with yourself that attempts to make a “should” more enticing. Your brain asks something like – how can I make clearing out my file cabinet something I love?

You see where I’m going with this?

I call this “hiding the pill in the bologna” (the sneaky way to give dogs their medicine). Your spirit’s going know if you’re trying to manipulate it and the plan will flop. Unless it’s some reeealy good bologna. If you’re thinking along this line, it’s a great thing to notice.

Hiding the pill in the bologna isn’t a vision, it’s just sneaky. And your heart knows it.

Why resolve at all?

There’s something magical about January 1st. We’re just coming out of the darkest days of the year. Despite the predictions for 2009, little green buds of hope are poking out bravely.

January is a clean slate with the bonus gift of wisdom from years past.

Resolutions honor the closure of one year and the opening of a new one. They’re about focusing your intentions and energy toward specific life-affirming goals. And, even though change can be a little scary, you probably like variety in your life. So, why not?

Things to try:

1. Notice if you have a “should” resolution already.

Ask if there’s something The Committee has been harping on you forever. Mental clutter like this is as important to observe as physical clutter.

Maybe you have carried “shoulds” about your workspace, your finances, your body, etc. Just make space to notice if you’ve been forcing results in your life without success.

2. Honor the “shoulds” and let them go.

Take a moment and thank yourself for trying so hard to improve these aspects of your life. Give yourself some much-needed acknowledgment and appreciation for the effort you’ve put in.

Give yourself permission to set these goals aside so that you can discover what would truly be good for you.

3. Find out what you really want.

Ask yourself: What would bring me more peace and contentment in my life and work? What do I need?

Let answers bubble up from within you and jot them down. The ideas you receive are the raw material for creating a compelling, loving, and fun intention for 2009.

By incorporating something you love as your resolution, the “shoulds” will take care of themselves. Try it and see!

Care to comment?

Readers are talking about email a lot lately.

My computer is cluttered. I have no idea how to clear it out. What guidelines do I to use to figure out whether to let go of something or keep it?

Another reader sent me this message just yesterday:

I have a backlog of messages, some of which are stored in files, some not, that I need to go through and sort out.

So do you have any suggestions about how I should tackle this? Should I just set aside several hours and go through the whole lot (and try in future not to accumulate!) or should I do a bit of time over a longer period?

A third reader piped up with a book recommendation for The Hamster Revolution: How to Manage your E-mail before it Manages You by Mike Song, Tim Burress, and Vicky Habey. (I haven’t read it, but it sounds great!)

I’m delighted you’re asking for ideas about how the heck to get rid of this stuff. It’s overwhelming, isn’t it?

Your way is the best way

I got started organizing because I was painfully disorganized. I tried to read books about how to “do it right” and you know what? I never finished them. I made stern resolutions, but I couldn’t remember all the tips I’d learned – and things would fall apart and worse.

Because I’ve been there, I love sharing my ideas for you. But remember there’s a Wise Self inside of you. No one knows what’s right for you more than you do.

The magic question

What got me out of overwhelm and disorganization was learning to ask myself: “What do I need?” I’d get stressed or overwhelmed, I’d miss a deadline or forget an appointment. After giving myself some grace, I’d ask, “What is it I need so I can do this better?”

That is the magic question.

Once you ask this, trust. Trust what you need. You may hang on to email because you feel afraid of losing its valuable information. You may be ready and want to get rid of some of it. Wherever you are, read through these suggestions and then ask yourself, “Is this what I need?” You’ll find an answer that’s right for you (and if you don’t, let’s talk).

Things to try

1. Purge email when you want to:

If you have a full Inbox right now and you want to downsize it, congratulations. That’s progress! Hampster Revolution recommends choosing an arbitrary number in advance (like 42) and just get rid of that many emails in one sitting.

Set a timer for 20 or so minutes to make it less painful and possibly faster. Then set another time to do it again. Small chunks of time might be more palatable and productive. Personally, I’d rather have a root canal than clear out email for 8 hours solid.

If you want to archive emails that are taking up space on your computer, you can use a backup hard drive, USB thumb drives or archival quality DVDs to store them long term.

You might want to put a date on your archives. If you haven’t opened or accessed the information stored by the date you choose, you can purge them permanently.

2. Give critical information a place to live:

If you don’t know where it is, it’s harder to find.

Point 1: It’s darn-near impossible to sort through email to find what you need. So don’t use email to keep track of time-sensitive information, contact information, or other details. Instead, keep it where you’re going to need it eventually anyway.

I recommend having an electronic or paper calendar handy so you can plop in info you’ll need. When the appointment rolls around, it’s all there for you.

Point 2: Because too much Inbox mail is visually overstimulating, don’t store anything in your Inbox but new emails. No “to-dos” in there. No reminders to follow-up. Nada.

To accomplish this, let it live somewhere you’ll find it. Create a place to store the emails you need but that aren’t urgent.

One way to do this is with filters. They’re amazing! Filters automatically screen incoming emails and send them into folders you design. This feature is available in Microsoft Outlook and several other email programs.

This screen shot shows you the filter categories I’ve assigned in my own account. When an email comes in from b5, Gmail filters it and automatically pops it into the correct folder for me.

Then, when I feel like reading my 13 newsletters, I will. But they don’t clog up my Inbox while they sit waiting.

3. Grant yourself permission to not choose:

I really believe that removing clutter adds freedom and energy to your life.

However, I have a clutter-removing exception for email. If you use a free email program like Google or Yahoo that offers unlimited storage, you can let yourself off the hook.

Why force yourself to purge old stuff if you don’t have to? As long as messages aren’t gumming up your Inbox, you can breathe easy. See that little “Archive” button in the screen shot? It removes the selected email from your Inbox, but stores message forever.

I particularly like Gmail because it has a very powerful search engine so I can easily retrieve old messages by name, content, subject, date and more.

Summing up

If you’re loaded down with emails in your inbox:

– Start whittling away at old Inbox emails a few at a time
– Check out using filters to weed out what’s urgent and what’s not
– See if you have unlimited storage – and decide if it will help you

Care to comment?

Before I knew I had ADD, I used to think I was broken. I thought I was defective for being so sloppy and slothful. Isn’t that horrible? It’s what I really believed.

I really thought I was broken.

I would forget an appointment, for example. When I discovered the error, all h-e-double-toothpicks would break loose inside my brain. I’d spew all kinds of insults and admonishments at myself.

After that internal tongue lashing, I’d resolve, once and for all, to change. To myself and others. To always show up reliably, no matter what. To be neat, once and for all.

If you want to make the gods laugh, tell them your plans.

You can guess what would happen next. Despite my best efforts, things would fall apart again, and the whole cycle would repeat. What a struggle.

Some of my clients, bless them, are facing years of chronic disorganization and they honestly believe that they are broken. They’ve tried to get organized and feel they’ve failed. Many times they’ve resolved, once and for all, to “get it together” but have not been able to implement organizing ideas consistently or with much success.

Until they start working with me, some of my clients don’t believe it’s even possible to be effective in business because their space is so out of control. How sad!

Rewriting the story

Chances are good that you want to contribute something positive to the world through your work. You believe that your gifts are valuable – and that healing and harmony come about when they are shared.

This is true.

And if you feel overwhelmed in your workspace or in your role as a business owner, consider this: these strong feelings and frustrations are not validation of your failure. They’re a call to pay closer attention. They’re your inner guidance system telling you that change is imminent.

Use discomfort to your advantage

The good news about negative feelings like embarrassment and frustration is that, eventually, they cause you to act.

That’s where the urge to “do it right once and for all” comes from. But it’s important to pause so that you can point that energy in the most effective direction.

I firmly believe that nothing is “once and for all,” there are only steps in the right direction.

For example…

My clothes live in my office closet, and it’s been a tenuous peace.

You can bet I’ve had my share of those “once and for all” conversations about the condition of the closet and the laundry hamper next to it.

Logistically, there’s no where else for the clothes to live. After many resolutions to never be messy again, I’ve deliberately begun to make small steps toward my vision of an office that supports my business completely.

My energy and attention are focused on where I want to go, not on what I’m doing “wrong.”

Action in the “right” direction

When I’d had enough of the losing battle with my clothes, I took action. I found the hamper lid – so now I’m not distracted by my laundry. I purchased hangers for my pants that are fun to use – so I’m more motivated to hang them up.

Does it work all the time? No.

But, the fundamental question is this: is it closer to my vision? Yes. Can I concentrate on my business better as a result of these adjustments? Yes. Is it more effective than chastising myself? Yes.

Will it take awareness on my part to work more effectively? Absolutely.

What’s important is that you make progress, one step at a time – in service to yourself, your business, and ultimately your clients.

Things to try

1. Take the long view

Imagine a day in your future where your office and its systems completely supported your business. What would it look like?

Create a picture in your mind that is compelling and invigorating. Go to the next step when you’ve completed this one.

2. Look at the short view (right now)

If you’ve been tolerating an intolerable space for a while, take a deep breath and look courageously around you. See at the reality of the place you work.

If your struggles have more to do with procrastination or incomplete work, stop for a moment to take stock of what is actually going on. What is really happening?

3. Draw a line between them

Hold the vision of where you want to go in your mind and beside it, the reality of where you are.

When you do this, the path to get there becomes clear. Write down what steps you want to take – and make them small, incremental steps so that you can notice and get rewarded by the changes as you go.

Care to comment?