Making friends with the whims of concentration

Please enjoy this sample narration from my brain last week while I was attempting to work on an Important Thing:

Argh! The cat’s licking is driving me crazy!! I wonder what’s on Twitter? (opens Twitter and reads a few entries)

I need to do that THING! Argh! Quit farting around! (closes Twitter) Okay, now work. (attempts to start the THING)

I wonder why those bees are hanging around outside my window… (ponders) What’s in my email inbox? (checks) Wait – what was I doing – oh! The THING!

Argh!

Two hours later, the THING was not done.

When I was a kid, it was the same scenario except I was supposed to be cleaning my room. I’d get distracted by some fascinating thing (shell collection, old books, etc.) in the attempt and my mom would speak from another room, “I don’t hear any cleaning going on in there.”

It used to drive my mom batty. Now it drives ME batty. If I had an employer, I’d have someone to keep me on task (maybe). But, like many, I am self-employed and sometimes get hopelessly off-track and can’t get back on.

Traction or distraction?

If I had traction, I would be moving forward with the THING. But in the scenario above, I was completely distracted and unable to focus.

If you have ADD or just think you do, maybe you can relate. We all have days like this. In fact, one of my favorite authors, Ned Hallowell, theorizes that even those without ADD may have the same behaviors when trying to juggle too many things.

If you get distracted like this periodically, it’s pretty normal. But, since it’s hardly a desirable place to be in very long, you might be wondering what to do about it?

Moving toward traction

Bouts of distraction happen. That’s just how it is.

Everyone has different symptoms when they’re feeling distracted, but the outcome is usually the same: you’re busy, but your work’s not purposeful.

Since I really believe it’s your office’s job to support you, sometimes making small adjustments to your space can help you feel less distracted so you can focus better.

Notice

Small adjustments come from the little things you notice around you. Be curious for a moment about what’s distracting you. On the crazy day I described above the sun’s glare was bothering me. I noticed the cat’s repetitious grooming. I looked around me and saw multiple open project folders vying for my attention.

All of the things you notice are great information.

Adjust accordingly

Once you realize what’s pulling you off-track, take a couple of minutes to manage your experience. Remove the attention-grabbers. Your sanity is worth it.

For myself, I closed the blinds to keep the glare out of my eyes, I moved the cat off my lap, I put a project away that was messing up my desk, and closed the other blinds because the sun moved (well, technically, the earth moved).

Anyway, managing my experience helped me concentrate enough to start the THING.

Except when that doesn’t work

I tried to start the THING and got distracted. Again.

And then I humbly realized: I can’t bend focus to my will. Concentration can only be managed. Even in the clearest, most refreshing spaces sometimes people still can’t concentrate.

When focus is an Inside Job

When adjusting your external space doesn’t work, it’s time to look inside yourself and find out what is really happening. It’s what I call an Inside Job.

If your brain is zipping along at breakneck speed – while you’re compulsively checking email, Facebook, Twitter, and photos of your dogs all at the same time – it’s a symptom.

Sometimes you need a break. Or a glass of water. Or a 2-week vacation. No matter which way you slice it, your brain needs to be allowed to run free.

A desk can drag you down

Once upon a time, people moved around. They moved their bodies for work, walked places, rode animals, collected their own food. Frankly, it wasn’t that long ago.

Today, I know a lot of people who, for work, sit at desks for a large portion of the day. Me, for one. Now, that’s not such a bad thing. If not for the Internet, Inspired Home Office wouldn’t exist.

But for many people that natural, vital movement is gone.

What to do about it

That compulsive internet checking is an attempt to meet the need for movement, except that it doesn’t work very well.

If you beat yourself up because you can’t concentrate, take a fresh look at what’s happening.

Robert Fritz, another of my very favorite authors, believes that taking breaks is vital to creativity. Who hasn’t gotten a good idea in the shower? Or out walking?

If you’re not productive and feeling antsy, move. That’s right. Get on up and get away from your desk. Do something you like. You’ll be surprised what good it’ll do you – and how much better you’ll concentrate when you get back.

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Have you ever had “one of those days?” Or a whole week of them?

“How are you, today?”
“Oh, fine.”

Even though you don’t feel fine.

It takes a lot of energy to put on a plastic smile. I mean a lot. In fact, forcing emotions can make you feel drained of energy in the long run.

What’s really happening?

For any variety of interesting reasons, we deem true emotions unfit for public consumption. Somehow we adopted the belief that it’s not okay to be crabby. Or to feel off-balance. Or let it show.

If you keep your feelings isolated inside, you can feel very isolated.

(Bear with me and we’ll tie this into office organization in a minute. Honest.)

“Problem Identification”

In my opinion, “venting” gets a bad rap. Venting – as in: getting stuff of your chest. So instead, I started calling it “Problem Identification”. Makes it sound fancy and productive, doesn’t it?

Actually, it is productive.

If you give yourself permission to share what’s happening inside you, amazing things can happen. Just yesterday, I “Identified a Problem” that has been a source of frustration for weeks.

Okay. It was more than a “source of frustration.” I was a ball of nerves. I felt stressed, anxious, confused, ticked off, and I was taking everything (even unrelated things) 100% personally. You ever have one of those days? It sucks.

The productive part

Well. Yesterday, I got tired of stewing. I wrote a Problem Identification email to my two mastermind buddies and just let ‘er rip. What I was confused about. What I was angry about. What was frustrating me. (It’s not you, honest.)

By the time I wrote this bullet-pointed missive, I was already feeling better. I got it all off my chest. And their empathic replies started me grinning.

Lisa’s email said:

…sometimes it’s just fine to just be a big, angry, stompy-booted, annoyed person about it.

Isn’t she awesome? Then she said,

Letting yourself have that is self-care too.

Suddenly the mountain was a rightful molehill again.

How Problem Identification works

Want to get stompy-booted and unstuck, too?

1. Acknowledge that all is not right.
2. Ask someone you trust if they’re willing to listen without trying to “fix” you (important!).
3. Share the whole ugly mess of thoughts and feelings.

Problem Identification is only half the solution.

You’ve probably met people who only focus on the Identification part. They wear you down, don’t they? If you stop at Problem Identification, you just keep stewing in your own juices.

What’s needed next are Solutions.

In science, a “solution” involves mixing dense matter into less dense matter which dilutes its potency. A nerdy analogy, yes, but Problem Identification is a dense thing that you can mix into your spacious, not-dense curiosity. And the problem dissolves.

For example, once you’ve had a good vent, you can explore:

What is one small baby step I can take to move this forward?

What is one small shift that will move me from “stuck and irritated” into “clear and empowered?”

But only after you’ve had The Vent.

What the heck does this have to do with organizing?

I love it when you ask that.

Have you ever noticed that you get irritated and frustrated by your work space from time to time (or all the time?).

If you share this frustration with someone, it helps you move out of the mental snarl of negative self-talk. It helps you get clear about Exactly What Isn’t Working and how gol-blasted irritating it is.

Suddenly, there’s space in you to be curious about Solutions.  And you can move forward.

How cool is that?

You’re your own organizing expert

No one knows what you need better than you do (not even me!).

So inquire:

What’s bugging you about your office lately? Let it all out to someone you trust. Then cultivate curiosity about what you need and how you want to move forward.

Oh – and let me know how it goes!

Care to comment?

Feeling spacey? Get some space.

Perhaps it’s just one of those messages from the Universe, but I have had almost the same exact conversation with three clients in the last week.

That usually means one of two things: 1. there’s a lesson I need to learn myself or 2. it means it’s time to write a newsletter about it. It’s ususally both.

So here’s the scenario:

You’ve got something you’re working on. The deadline isn’t tomorrow, but it’s coming up. You’ve been procrastinating doing it for a while and you know it’s time to crack down and get it done.

So you sit down at your computer to get it done, but first you check your email. Then you check the weather. Then you check email again. You know where I’m going with this, right? The Thing doesn’t never get done. (Yes, you heard me right with my double negative.)

The creative process can’t be forced.

Have you ever asked someone who speaks a foreign language to “say something” in that language? You know what happens: they blank. They look around in the sky for inspiration to strike, but they’re on the spot and nothing comes out.

The same thing happens when you’re trying to create by force.

Most people hold the mistaken belief that creativity means producing something. They look at a piece of artwork or hear a song and think: “they’re so creative.”

Creativity actually comes before production.

I know this is abstract, but hang in there with me.

Have you ever been struck by an idea so brilliant and so exciting, you can’t wait to create it? What were you doing when it occurred? A lot of the time, these flashes of inspiration come while you’re in lah-lah land, zoning out, doing mundane stuff.

Have you ever noticed that they don’t come when you’re under the gun, straining, slumped over the computer like Quasimodo? Nothing happens then, does it. There’s a reason for this: creativity needs space.

But we don’t give it space. We try to force it. We push, thinking: “I’ve GOT to get this done.”  All that email and weather-checking is an attempt to buy you time. Your brain has other ideas.

The positive side of procrastination

Procrastination has a positive intention: to give your brain the space it needs to rest, regroup, and pop out another brilliant, twinkly idea.

When you force productivity, it backfires. Things that “should” be simple, take forever. Talk about frustrating.

How to get space to work for you

I was talking to a client recently who cracked her own code. She noticed that every time she was pushing herself, her body was in a certain posture and she felt a specific emotion.

One day, she decided to do something about it (I’m so proud): she took a break.

She discovered that taking a break, walking away, wiping down counters in the kitchen, somehow that was enough. When she went back to work, The Thing was easy.

What are you forcing?

Me? Well, I have an incredible, exciting program I’ll be sharing with you… Sometime soon. But I’m sitting on my hands right now. I realized this week that it needs to percolate longer because trying to force it out by September 1st wasn’t working.

If you’ve been putting off a project or trying to get something accomplished, you hereby have my permission to stop. Better yet, give yourself permission.

Things to try

1. Ask yourself what you’re needing. What do you really need? Is it a glass of water? A stroll by a river? To drive 75 mph blaring old Bruce Springsteen tunes? Whatever it is…

2. Do it. You’ll be glad you did.

3. Come back to the project later. When you come back, you’ll be nourished by the space and have renewed energy. Give it a whirl and let me know how it goes (I’ll keep you posted on my project, too).

Care to comment?

Even when it’s change you want!

Have you ever made a significant change in your workspace? Are you thinking about one?

Whether you’re dreaming about getting a new computer, setting up a website, or rearranging the location of your desk – there is change on your horizon.

Change is good – it means you’re learning and growing your business.

A little nerdy factoid for you: the Latin root of the word “change” is “to barter.” In other words, when you make a change in your workspace, there’s bound to be some negotiating – and it’s mostly an “inside job.”

Who’s bartering for your attention?

When you begin an effort to change something, there is a side of you that liked the old, familiar way of doing things. It has needs that, if addressed, will make the transition easier. And the side of you that’s excited about the future possibilities will also have needs. That’s just how it goes.

If you were to tell one of those two sides “suck it up” – it can make adjusting to the change a lot harder. Imagine how a conversation like that might go with a loved one (I’m guessing not very well). So, be gentle with yourself and your needs when you’re going through a change.

You might have noticed that once you decide to make a change in your workspace that there’s a feeling of momentum and energy behind it. You might feel excited and want to stop everything and set it up as soon as you think of it.

The trick is to use this momentum to your advantage.

Feeling stuck instead of psyched?

If you want to change something about your office or business processes – and you don’t feel momentum, make a mental note of this. If you feel draggy or apathetic, that’s really okay. It’s even normal. The steps below will help you discover what’s missing and the apathy will dissolve.

3 steps that disarm resistance

1. Think about where you want to end up.

Think about a change you want to make in your workspace that will have a positive impact on your business and how you feel in your workspace.

Write or think about what impact the change will have on your work experience. How will you benefit from making it? How will your office feel once you do? How will you feel?

2. What are the challenges you face when it comes to making this change?

You might have time constraints or financial ones. You might be resistant to learning something new. You may feel like you don’t have enough information or support to take the next step.

3. Decide what your next step will be.

Remember those needs I mentioned? Now’s a great time to give them some thought. To make the transition smoother for you, what do you need? Once you know this, you can create a plan.

If you’re the kind of person that likes to write out all the steps, go for it. But if you can’t see very far ahead, that’s okay too. Figure out what your very next step will be, and take it.

Care to comment?

A good friend from Ireland visited last week, so I decided in advance to take time off from work to fully enjoy her stay. It seemed like a really good idea.

The week before her arrival, I worked my tail off. It seemed like a stunningly good idea to put in 14 hour days to complete everything I’d normally do during the time she was here.

In the words of my Irish friend, “It was mad.”

Been there, too?

Maybe you’ve noticed this: you’re under a time crunch and expecting yourself to be ultra productive. But what actually happens is you fritter away time doing busywork and don’t complete the important tasks.

Personally, I got so frantic about everything I just had to do, I barely got it all done before my friend arrived.

Everything is an opportunity for transformation

The good news is that I practice what I preach: having an inspired home office is an evolution, not a revolution. When something doesn’t work or negative feelings pile up, it’s an incredible opportunity to learn.

Here’s what I realized.

You can’t manufacture yourself

Ever since industrialization, work has been defined as a linear process. Raw materials in, marketable product out. In our culture, we tend to work linearly, too.

But what happens when you are the product and your brain generates the raw material? You can’t hire three shifts, pay minimum wage, and keep the shop open 24/7.

When you’re the product, this linear thinking can do damage to your one-person show. Effort yourself into too much “productivity” and you’ll get exhausted sooner or later – even doing work you love.

The alternative: Working sustainably

It’s more sustainable and more enjoyable to think and work in terms of seasons. A particular project can show you the bountiful harvest of autumn and a contemplative winter. You plant the seeds of spring and burst into blooms of ideas in summer.

Chances are good that you’re in many places and seasons at once… and they’re all good. You might even check in right now and ask: what season are you in with your marketing? Or product development? Or your network and strategic alliances?

But what about your goals?

Does this seasonal, energetic flux mean you can’t have goals to work toward? Of course not. Goals keep you on track – but they don’t have to be shackles.

If you want to encourage sustainable productivity in your business, try these three guidelines for goals:

Things to try

1. Cultivate focus.

Ask yourself two questions to hone your focus:

What do I want?
When do I want it by?

These questions can be about anything: profit, marketing, projects, etc. You can write your answers longhand or make a bullet pointed list – whatever you need to take a good look at them.

2. Establish priorities.

Once your list is written and you’ve identified what you want – by when, ask one more question:

What is most important right now?

If you have several projects running at once, one might bring you the greatest profit, another is something you promised to a client, and a third could include regular maintenance of files. All of these are important; you decide which outranks the other.

When you’re clear about what trumps what, decisions become easier. Look at your list again and determine what you’ll do first and next and next after that.

3. Set boundaries.

Last, and arguably most important, is deciding when it’s time to not produce work. The last 2 questions:

When will I stop?
What do I need to care for my body, mind, and spirit?

A list of goals or to-dos won’t become your master if you’re clear about what kind of rest you need. Once you’ve established boundaries for yourself, honor them. Stopping allows you to rest and recharge, so you can work again renewed.

Summing up

You can use these three steps when work is calm, but especially when your workload is overwhelming or “mad.” You’ll be able to see through the busy-ness and work more effectively on your business.

Care to comment?

Bring more peace to your life and your work for the new year

Have you been asked yet?

If they haven’t already, you know someone’s going to ask you, “What’s your New Year’s resolution this year?”

A lot of folks roll their eyes because they know that, come mid-February, we’ve forgotten what we’d even resolved to do.

Why the skepticism? Because changing is hard work.

Does deciding make change happen?

Unfortunately, sometimes merely deciding isn’t enough.

A client of mine recently resolved to give up smoking (I’m so proud). But because nicotine is an addictive drug, she’s had to do a lot more than just decide. Can you imagine?! It’s a daily, sometimes minute-by-minute commitment to choose one thing over another.

She’s reaching out for support, has a clear goal, and a specific plan. Yup, it helps a lot when you have a plan.

A Resolution Revolution

The problem with a resolution is that it’s just short of a wish. It can be a positive, healthy idea (losing 10 pounds, stopping nagging, writing more letters, etc.) – but often lacks a coherent game plan.

I’ve been proudly following my Patriots winning season this year (say what you will about recorded calls and a historic “fumble”). They have a huge goal: another Super Bowl.

And they plan – one step at a time – to get to their destination.

You can get there.

Instead of creating a resolution your forget later – or rejecting the whole resolution idea entirely – why not set yourself up for success?

There’s a camp of folks that say that a goal should be SMART: specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-specific. When a goal has all 5 of these attributes, it’s easier to understand where you have to go – and recognize when you’ve arrived.

But you still need one more thing…

The missing link

The plan of action.

Let’s say you resolve to increase your income for 2008. Your SMART goal could be something like: “After expenses, I want to make $2,500 monthly (or more) for 10 out of 12 months in 2008.” Sounds great! Yay, you!

Your plan of action will then list out the details of how this will happen. Will you cut down on some expenses? Will you complete the product you’ve been working on? Will you offer a class or promote your services in a new way?

Writing down the steps that will get you from where you are today to your destination is the best way to actualize your resolution.

Things to try

1. Write your plan down and post it somewhere visible

I love dry erase or wipe-off markets for this. Last year I bought wrapping paper on clearance and used the blank side to create a wall chart for my goals. You could use a bulletin board or clipboard if space is more limited. Making your plan interactive and visually appealing helps keep it fresh.

2. Set up a reminder system to help you stay accountable

If your enthusiasm tends to wane after time, use Outlook or other organizing software to schedule time to work on the steps as well as give you reminders to help you stay on track. You might also consider including a trusted business friend to be an “accountability buddy” – they may want the same from you!

3. Keep track of your progress

Make appointments in your calendar to check in regularly about where you are along your path. If it’s a resolution for the year, for example, checking in monthly might be good. You might like to do this more frequently when you start and less so once you’re moving.

A final thought:

The Wise and Wonderful “They” say that it takes 3-4 weeks to form a new, healthy habit. So give yourself time to dream, write up your plan, and then get moving!

Care to comment?

Before I knew I had ADD, I used to think I was broken. I thought I was defective for being so sloppy and slothful. Isn’t that horrible? It’s what I really believed.

I really thought I was broken.

I would forget an appointment, for example. When I discovered the error, all h-e-double-toothpicks would break loose inside my brain. I’d spew all kinds of insults and admonishments at myself.

After that internal tongue lashing, I’d resolve, once and for all, to change. To myself and others. To always show up reliably, no matter what. To be neat, once and for all.

If you want to make the gods laugh, tell them your plans.

You can guess what would happen next. Despite my best efforts, things would fall apart again, and the whole cycle would repeat. What a struggle.

Some of my clients, bless them, are facing years of chronic disorganization and they honestly believe that they are broken. They’ve tried to get organized and feel they’ve failed. Many times they’ve resolved, once and for all, to “get it together” but have not been able to implement organizing ideas consistently or with much success.

Until they start working with me, some of my clients don’t believe it’s even possible to be effective in business because their space is so out of control. How sad!

Rewriting the story

Chances are good that you want to contribute something positive to the world through your work. You believe that your gifts are valuable – and that healing and harmony come about when they are shared.

This is true.

And if you feel overwhelmed in your workspace or in your role as a business owner, consider this: these strong feelings and frustrations are not validation of your failure. They’re a call to pay closer attention. They’re your inner guidance system telling you that change is imminent.

Use discomfort to your advantage

The good news about negative feelings like embarrassment and frustration is that, eventually, they cause you to act.

That’s where the urge to “do it right once and for all” comes from. But it’s important to pause so that you can point that energy in the most effective direction.

I firmly believe that nothing is “once and for all,” there are only steps in the right direction.

For example…

My clothes live in my office closet, and it’s been a tenuous peace.

You can bet I’ve had my share of those “once and for all” conversations about the condition of the closet and the laundry hamper next to it.

Logistically, there’s no where else for the clothes to live. After many resolutions to never be messy again, I’ve deliberately begun to make small steps toward my vision of an office that supports my business completely.

My energy and attention are focused on where I want to go, not on what I’m doing “wrong.”

Action in the “right” direction

When I’d had enough of the losing battle with my clothes, I took action. I found the hamper lid – so now I’m not distracted by my laundry. I purchased hangers for my pants that are fun to use – so I’m more motivated to hang them up.

Does it work all the time? No.

But, the fundamental question is this: is it closer to my vision? Yes. Can I concentrate on my business better as a result of these adjustments? Yes. Is it more effective than chastising myself? Yes.

Will it take awareness on my part to work more effectively? Absolutely.

What’s important is that you make progress, one step at a time – in service to yourself, your business, and ultimately your clients.

Things to try

1. Take the long view

Imagine a day in your future where your office and its systems completely supported your business. What would it look like?

Create a picture in your mind that is compelling and invigorating. Go to the next step when you’ve completed this one.

2. Look at the short view (right now)

If you’ve been tolerating an intolerable space for a while, take a deep breath and look courageously around you. See at the reality of the place you work.

If your struggles have more to do with procrastination or incomplete work, stop for a moment to take stock of what is actually going on. What is really happening?

3. Draw a line between them

Hold the vision of where you want to go in your mind and beside it, the reality of where you are.

When you do this, the path to get there becomes clear. Write down what steps you want to take – and make them small, incremental steps so that you can notice and get rewarded by the changes as you go.

Care to comment?

Finding compassion for the things you’ve left undone.

There it is again… that thing you’ve been avoiding. You know… that thing right over there. Just looking at it fills you with anxiety.

Truth is, it’s just a task you need to accomplish. An email to return, a bill to pay, a receipt to file. But there it is, undone.

And if you’re like a lot of people, noticing its un-done-ness causes you to do a number on yourself.

“What’s wrong with you?!” you say inside your head. “You still haven’t gotten to that yet!?”

Perhaps you resort to name calling: “Grrr! You idiot!” (or worse).

Or maybe your inner dialog throws out a doozy like: “You’re never going to succeed if you don’t get this stuff done.”

No matter what you say or how you say it, this kind of self-talk has horrible consequences on you and your business. You end up feeling guilt, frustration, dread, panic, depression, self-doubt, and self-loathing.

Believe me, I’ve been there.

And, ironically, it’s all in the name of a task that needs to be done. Sheesh.    

The gift of negative self-talk

The good news is that this habit has a positive intention: it wants you to take action. (And this is probably the result you want too, right?)

My mentor and friend, Mark Silver, says that the only way to get the toothpaste out of the tube is to squeeze.

And chastising is just one way to pressure yourself into taking action. While it’s usually effective, the long-term consequences might make you desire some gentler alternatives.

Imagine for a moment a healthy squeeze: a way to create motivation that involves talking to yourself in a supportive way.    

Things to try

Here’s are three steps that can get the job done - while sparing you the stresses of negative self-talk:  

1. Notice

When the time comes that you notice a task undone, simply observe it as a neutral fact. “Oh, looky here – it’s past the time to invoice my clients!”

If you notice negative thoughts coming up as you do this, gently tell your brain that you appreciate its concern and that you’ve got it covered. This shuts down the reptilian fight-or-flight response and allows you to get centered.

Remember, it’s just a task that needs to be completed. Its completeness isn’t ”good”, “bad”, or otherwise. Just neutral.

2. Identify your need

Ask yourself: what do I need in order to complete this task?   Do you need some quiet, uninterrupted time? Maybe you need a day to think on it. Or a chance to consult your calendar. Perhaps you need some assistance or connection with a person you trust.

If you listen intently, you will get an answer from within that give you clarity about the need you have.   Fulfilling this need will help and support you in completing the task.

3. Write it down

A couple of my clients are devoted Franklin Covey fans – this planner system not only organizes your calendar but also allows you to write a daily task list. (I’m a big fan of the task list and its friend, the checkmark.)   No matter what system of organizing you use, when you get clear about the need you have, write it down.

To clarify: Write the need down in a place that you will find it so that it can be completed.

The benefit of writing it down, especially in your calendar, is that you give yourself a reminder, a gentle nudge, to fulfill the need and complete the step.

Doing this will actually create the encouragement and support you need - and break the cycle of self-criticism.   

Bonus gifts

By eliminating negativity, you create a more supportive workspace and make yourself more emotionally available to your clients.

Imagine how your business and your creativity can flourish in this environment!

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