“It has to be perfect! What will they think of me if it isn’t?”
“It’s so far from perfect, I just can bring myself to even work on it.”
“Why bother? It/I will never be perfect.”

You may want to be reasonable and compassionate with yourself, but you still crave perfection sooo badly. The pursuit of it can depress and exhaust you.

So what’s really going on?

The root of the word “perfect” (Merriam-Webster Dictionary) comes from two words: “per” (thoroughly) and “facere” (to make). To do something thoroughly. In other words, to complete.

Completion sounds more reasonable than some of the ultra-sparkly “perfect” things we see in ads and on TV. To make something thoroughly brings it into the realm of human ability. It’s do-able.

The problem we encounter with completion, is that life doesn’t have thorough endings. We empty the recycle bin, it fills back up again. You clean off your bookshelves, and a few months later there are more books on it. You finish an article, but you use the material again in the future.

Many of my clients are eager to have a photo-ready home office, but using the space means that even when it looks perfect, this is just a temporary state. Nothing is ever done. But knowing this means that there’s a better way to find completion and perfection that is in union with this principle of flow.

Aren’t we the judge of what’s perfect?

In some ways, you are the judge of what is perfect. On twitter yesterday, I searched for “perfection” and found people saying they’d found perfection in specific categories: weather, a CD mix, a Broadway soundtrack, a margarita, and an actor. Each of these assessments is personal. We have an internal sense of what is perfect to us, based on our own standards.

Perfection also exists in the form of the Divine, independent of our judgments. There is an essence of the Divine which is Perfection Itself which no person can ever achieve. In the same way that the Divine love is perfect love, we love imperfectly. Your essence is perfect, but as your strive for divine perfection in your actions, they will always be expressed imperfectly.

All of this heady stuff is here to make a single point. I promise I’m getting there.

What is your need?

Look within and think about something you wish could be perfect, even for just a few hours.

For many people, seeking perfection comes from a desire for approval, to be accepted, to belong. This is a deep human need, and we think perfection will help us get this need met. Some people seek perfection in fear that something bad will happen. Failure to meet high standards turns some wonderful people into controlling, stressed-out souls.

If you’re trying to create a life that’s harmonious and perfect, I invite you to reflect on what your primary motivation is to get there.

Are you making perfection a condition of happiness?

Perfection itself isn’t the problem, it’s the pursuit of perfection that troubles us. We fall into the trap of thinking, “When my desk is clean…” “When the bills are paid…” “When I get some time to myself, ahhh… then I will be happy.”

You’ve probably heard the “if-then” concept from others wiser than I. With regard to this topic, it’s worth repeating: contentment has no conditions. Besides the few basic biological ones, there are no conditions. No finish line requires you to cross it before you can be happy, satisfied, and content.

The challenge, and the opportunity, lies in accepting where you are right now on your journey toward perfection. Accepting that wherever you are, it’s just the right place to be. There’s nothing you need to do except take a moment to notice, and even appreciate, where you are on your path.

In fact, you may find that the less you push for perfection in your life, business, and workspace, the closer it becomes. If you can let go of your attachment to a specific outcome, and become open to the lessons the divine provides, your path will be less stressful and more joyful.

“I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God’s business”
~ Michael J. Fox

“Perfection is no more attainable for us than is infinity. One ought not to seek it anywhere: not in love, nor beauty, nor happiness, nor virtue; but one should love it, in order to be virtuous, beautiful and happy, insofar as that is possible for man.”
~ Alfred de Musset

Thoughts? Yeah, buts? Me toos?

Forgot an appointment?

I did. This morning. With my awesome, amazing, quirky, totally-integruous CPA and friend, Dale Kennedy.

Dale’s my Dad-away-from-Dad. He talks sense to me about planning and money in his inimitable humorous, ADD way. He peppers me with questions – and I’d better be on my toes with good answers. He cracks me up but he means business – and I’m touched that he’s genuinely interested in how I and my business are doing. Every time I see him he asks me, “Have you read Rich Dad, Poor Dad yet?”

I love this guy. I never knew an accountant could be so fun. So real. So human.

Dale is busy, but he made an informal breakfast appointment with me just to catch up at one of my favorite restaurants.

The glitch.

I’ve been on the edge of stress lately and, without checking my calendar, I gave myself permission this morning to stay in bed with my coffee and read. A mental health hour.

I felt sooo soothed and nurtured by this little pocket of time for myself.

If you’re paying attention, you’ll have caught the glitch above: I didn’t check my calendar. I usually check tomorrow’s calendar in the evening to avoid this very situation. But I didn’t.

I also ignored that little niggle in my stomach while I sipped my coffee that said, “Are you sure you have nothing scheduled this morning?”

At 8:15, I sat down at my calendar and the reality hit me: I was already 15 minutes late – and a half-hour’s drive from our meeting place. I said aloud, “[Expletive]!” And then, “[Stream of expletives]!”

And then I called Dale.

Forgiveness: the moral of the story

The first thing he said to me was, and I quote, “Be at peace.” Seriously. I was so stressed and worried that I offended him – and I felt so badly imagining him sitting by himself at the restaurant – and he tells me to be at peace.

Dear reader, this time the lesson’s on me. While I’m constantly talking about offering yourself compassion for mistakes, this time Dale gave it to me instead. When he could have been justifiably irate. I’m humbled and grateful.

Big thanks to Dale. I hope his “found” 45 minutes were relaxing and productive.

The bonus lesson

One of my twitter buddies said to me this morning, “No one trusts a perfectly organized organizer!”

I guess this makes me trustworthy.

No matter how mortified I feel about missing my breakfast with Dale, the truth is we all forget stuff. Even me. We are all busy, distracted, and trying to make our way the best we can.

We’re all also learning as we go. You’re learning, I’m learning.

My bonus lesson from this is to listen to my intuition. It’s usually right.

What’s your bonus lesson?

You notice the display at Office Big Box has furniture that look so organized and tidy.

You drool over the latest office feature in Martha’s magazine that looks so adorably perky.

The green-eyed monster has moved into your office and has taken over whatever semblance of  confidence you may have had.

How’d that happen?

It’s natural to look around you for solutions – especially if you’re stuck or dissatisfied with something in your life. And while searching for ideas and inspiration is great, it’s downright depressing to look at how others do it and compare theirs to yours.

“That’s so expensive, I don’t have that kind of money to spend.”
“That looks impossibly neat, I could never keep my office as clean as she does.”
“My office isn’t that big, I don’t have anywhere to put anything!”
“I’ve got so much paper and stuff, I could never get my office to look like that.”

Do these comments sound depressingly familiar?

Or, worst of all, there’s:

Thank God no one sees my office.

Comparison, unveiled.

When you compare, you see differences. And they keep you stuck. Comparison can make you feel badly about how your office looks, your self worth, and even doubt whether you’re an effective business owner. Comparison can become a downward spiral of self-doubt and self-loathing.

If you feel some of those terrible feelings about yourself or your office, you’re not alone.

The answers aren’t out there. They’re in here.

If you’re struggling to put order and beauty in your workspace, I want to let you in on a secret: the key is inside you.

You can look at a million websites for ideas and read dozens of books about organizing, but all that information will not change how your office looks or feels. I’ll bet you already know that.

If you’re looking outside of yourself for answers, you’re missing out on a valuable resource: your own wisdom.

Self-defining vs. comparison

All those people you were comparing yourself to? They all had something in common:

• Your best buddy knew what she wanted.
• The Office Big Box furniture designers knew what they wanted.
• That Martha Stewart – she knew what she wanted (doesn’t she always?).

It’s not like they all had some magic formula that you can’t access. Each of them had a vision – and then they created it in real life.

Find your vision

To banish the green-eyed monster and gain back your workspace mojo, here are 3 practical steps to take:

1. Ask yourself what you want.

What is it you need to work peacefully in your office? No matter how far from it you may feel, write it down or draw a picture of it – and describe it in as much detail as possible.

The purpose of doing this is to forge a clear idea of what your perfect office is like. When you see ideas in magazines, they become tools rather than deterrents to your progress.

2. Figure out what your parameters are.

What’s your budget, space needs, storage needs, etc. This puts your vision into real-life perspective.

3. Start taking small steps toward your vision.

Once you’re clear, the best thing to do is take action. Sitting on your hands will just make you frustrated. What’s one small thing you can accomplish toward your vision? What’s a tiny thing you can do today?

The important thing is to focus on small steps, because they add up. And they’re so much more compassionate.

A few years after Martha Stewart became a star (before the prison gig), she could be seen on television in her immaculate maison, wrapping perfect presents with satin ribbon and decorating sugar cookies with all the flair of Degas.

I don’t know how the family joke got started, but my mom took to referring to the Connecticut queen as “Martha F. Stewart.” Not to offend, but you can probably guess what the middle initial stood for.

Credit is due to Ms. Stewart for helping America reconnect with its neglected homes and discover that we could feather our nests and curl up into them. However, her inimitable style upped the ante for America’s working moms, in particular, and brought on a good case of resentment and guilt.

I think that was what my mom was getting at.

Is Martha in your office?

I was talking with a client the other day who’s been battling habitual clutter and winning. But when she mentioned that a small pile had developed on her desk, I could hear her voice get smaller and her energy shrank.

When I probed, she realized that her expectation of a clutter-free, functioning office was that it had to have nothing, nothing in it. Gleaming, ready for the photo shoot. Martha F. Stewart.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

The fact is, your office has to work for you, not the other way around. Your office is the place where you work – and work, by nature, is messy.

If you are in the middle of a project, it’s only natural that you have on hand the supplies you need to complete it. It might look like a mess, but that’s okay.

Something more like reality

I like Erma Bombeck. If you haven’t read any of her books, I highly recommend that you pick one up. Any of them. She used her wicked sense of humor to make poignant observations about motherhood, marriage, lost socks, and life in general.

Her philosophy, or so it seems to me, is that life is full and messy and you’d better find the funny in it so you can make it through. She made a point not to sweat the small stuff.

She’s more my kinda gal because her attitude parallels my own approach to office organization and design. If your space is functioning for you and your business, great. You can always tweak what isn’t working, but don’t chase after perfection. It will just make you tired.

Instead, find the love in your work, the fun in it, and make sure your space is functional enough to do it well. There’s time enough for Martha F later.

Things to try

1. Inspiration

You probably surround yourself with talismans and images without stopping to notice them very often. Look around your office and locate things that are beautiful and inspiring to you.

Take a moment to really soak in the energy and inspiration that they bring you.

2. Significance

Find something in your space that anyone else might think ugly or messy, but is significant to you.

Maybe you have a project going that is your Next Big Thing. Congratulate yourself on having the vision to bring it to fruition (even if you haven’t touched it in a while).

Or, if you have some object or collection that reminds you of a special person or event in your life, pause to reconnect with that meaningful memory. These are the deep roots that give us courage to fly.

3. Gratitude

Your workspace is a sacred container for your business. Take a deep, cleansing breath – and thank your office for supporting you.

Soak in the significance of having the space and tools together so that your business may thrive and help others.

By noticing the beauty and purpose of your office and its contents, you are nourishing and giving yourself the strength to carry on. What beautiful gifts you, in turn, can to give the world.