Knowing I have a lot of un-replied-to emails in my inbox stresses me out. The story in my head is something like, “I should reply to people as soon as they email me.” But that is a very stressful (and unrealistic) expectation.

Replying to email promptly and sanely.

What is currently working well for me:

I have structures. Twice a day, 3 days a week, I’ve scheduled 30 minutes with my inbox. It’s written on my Google calendar and I get a little pop-up “ding dong!” 10 minutes before hand. That’s 3ish hours a week devoted to checking and answering email.

I have systems. When folks purchase The Wish Kit or sign up for my newsletter, I use a special auto-responder that sends them a confirmation email. I don’t have to be at my desk for them to receive what they ordered. It’s sweet. It’s fast.

The other system I recently implemented is setting up 1-on-1 appointments using timedriver.com (hat tip: Marissa Bracke). This has saved me countless back-and-forth emails trying to find a convenient meeting time across time zones. Whew!

What I’m currently working on:

I want to reply faster. Confession time. At the moment, I have emails awaiting responses that are over 3 weeks old. And one from Charlie Gilkey that’s from August. Please, please don’t compare yourself against this – what I’m getting at is the anxiety I feel from having a high volume of email and not replying as quickly as I’d like. Yuck.

It all goes back to the days when I was in school and trying to hide the fact that I’d forgotten to do my homework for the Nth time. Oh, the shame… Email makes me feel this way sometimes.

Differentiating between IHO emails and personal emails. All my emails come to one box. I don’t fritter a lot of time away on personal emails during work time, but I do forget to answer them entirely once the computer is shut off for the weekend.

3 hours a week isn’t enough. It’s hard, but it’s true. I think the remedy is in the next section.

Differentiating between informational email and work email. By this I mean that some emails are ones I can read and file easily. Done. Other emails are requests for work, for time, for attention. I cannot read and file these, because they’re incomplete. I’m still learning how to say no to some requests for my time and how to follow-through effectively on others.

How do YOU return email promptly?

Please share what works for you -  and what you’re still learning!

Your comments on your own process are welcome. House rules: Give advice to me or others only when it’s specifically requested. This makes exploring safe and learning possible for every reader.

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If you Google “How to choose a Virtual Assistant,” you’ll find oodles of posts giving you lists of “Things To Look For,” like professionalism, customer savvy, and tech skills. So when Jen asked me to write about finding a good VA, I decided not to do another spin on the usual list of What To Look For post. Instead, I put together the 5 tips I most often wish I could give to people considering or beginning the process of finding and hiring a VA.

And here they are: The Five Guiding Principles of Finding Your VA.

1. Know what you want.

This doesn’t have to be as daunting as it sounds! Rather than trying to sit down and make a list of tasks for a VA out of thin air, keep a notepad near your computer (or a page in Backpack, or a Word doc, etc.).

Whenever you come across a task or project that you realize you’d want or need someone else to handle, jot it down. Got an idea but not sure you’ve got the tech chops to make it happen? Add it to the list. Heard about a newsletter service you’d like to use but don’t want to learn it yourself? On the list it goes!

Give yourself a few weeks of doing this (or even a few months, depending on where you are in the needing-a-VA timeline) and then take a look at your list. What’s on it? Lots of Wordpress tweaks? You’ll want a VA who’s got expertise in Wordpress. A slew of customer service issues? Look for a VA that specializes in customer care. Mostly quick research and “look things up” tasks? You might do well with overseas VA firms that specialize in 15-minute-and-under tasks.

Paying attention to your list will help guide you to a VA that meets your needs, rather than one that has a lot of great qualifications and a great list of references, but doesn’t really line up with what you want.

2. Know why you want a VA.

Do you want a VA because you need assistance, or because you’ve been told that you should need assistance?

Do you want a VA because you could put your time and energy into high-impact activities if you weren’t trying to keep up with the administrative details, or because you’ve heard that you should outsource those details?

The unfortunate side effect of all of those “how to get more done” courses for small businesses is this pervasive notion that your small business isn’t complete or cannot be successful unless and until you get a VA and start outsourcing.

That isn’t true.

Don’t hire a VA because you “should.” Hire one because you want to, and because doing so fits with what feels right for your business. Don’t look for tasks to outsource because you’ve been told that certain tasks aren’t worth your time. Outsource because you’ve got certain projects or goals you want to put your energy toward and you want help taking care of the other tasks that absorb that energy.

The bottom line is that there isn’t a one-size-fits-all rule about small businesses “needing” VAs. Some reap huge benefits from a VA. Some sail along quite smoothly without ever outsourcing any of their administrative tasks.

If you’re looking for a VA because you’re feeling pressure to do so from the “shoulds” you’ve heard, go back to Step #1, and focus on that list. You may find that you don’t have one, or that you’re putting items on it only because you feel like you should. If that’s the case, it’s probably not the right time for you to hire a VA. (And that’s completely okay!) Hire a VA only when it’s right for you to do so–not because someone else has been “should-ing” all over your business.

3. Be aware of your budget, but don’t “bargain shop.”

Once you know what you want and you know that you’re looking for a VA because you need one (not because you “should”), it’s time to talk dollars and cents.

The range of VA prices is broad. You can find VA help for anywhere from $15 an hour on the lower end through $70 and $80 an hour for a highly-trained, “executive assistant” VA.

One mistake people often make is to shop for VAs like they shop for groceries: they assume that the quality is roughly the same, so the best price is probably the way to go. They want a bargain. They want an economy-size box of help at super-sale prices!

But VAs aren’t mass-manufactured food items. The fact that a VA is cheap isn’t necessarily the sign of a good deal and good value.

VAs who bargain-price their services often have a lower skill set and will require a great deal more of your time training him or her. If you want to save money in exchange for more upfront time outlay, that might work well. If you want to be able to hand things off and keep moving full steam ahead, it probably won’t.

If you want built-in expertise that requires little training or oversight from you, be prepared to pay for that. Keep in mind that what takes a $60-per-hour VA 30 minutes might take a $20-per-hour 2 hours, and what seemed like a bargain at first glance, might not be in practice.

Not all high-priced VAs are worth their high per-hour charge, just like not all lower-priced VAs are under-skilled. It’s a good way to get an at-a-glance gauge of what you might be getting (because, with VAs, you do usually get what you pay for), but let it be a piece of the overall picture, rather than the determining factor.

4. Talk to people who work with VAs–and to the VAs themselves.

There’s a limit to how much you can find out about a VA by looking at her website, her listing of services, and her prices. To get the scoop on what it’s like to work with a VA (and what it’s like working with specific VAs), you’ll need to ask.

Don’t be afraid to ask for peoples’ suggestions about VAs, especially if they’ve personally worked with VAs. Ask them for recommendations, and ask them about their experiences with the assistants they’ve hired. But most importantly, talk to the VAs!

If you find a VA that seems like she might be a good fit, email her. See if you can schedule a phone appointment with her. Ask her whatever questions you’ve got, and be open about your concerns too. If she doesn’t answer your questions or address your concerns in a way that feels sufficient or comfortable for you, move on to the next VA. There’s a lot of fish in the VA sea, and you don’t have to settle for the first one you find if it’s not a good fit.

Likewise, you don’t have to hire the one that your friend loves, or that your Twitter buddy adores. Getting their recommendations is a great starting point, but what works for them might not work for you, and that’s fine.

Which brings us to point 5…

5. Never underestimate the power of the “Click.”

If you’re going to work with someone on an ongoing basis, you’re going to want a “click.” You want someone whose work and communication styles fit with yours, so that you aren’t constantly struggling to “get” what she’s saying while she’s struggling to “get” what you’re wanting.

Look for a VA whose personality is a good fit with yours, and with your business. This is another reason talking to the VA before hiring her is so important: you want to get a feel for the person you’re working with, not just a list of her skills and certifications.

Your VA might not wind up being your best friend and the namesake of your future children. But she also doesn’t have to be a source of frustration for you or the reason you keep feeling like you’re doing something wrong. Remember that you aren’t a business entity looking to work with a set of administrative skills. You are a person looking to work with another person. The human elements of chemistry, personality and “click” matter!

How do these recommendations land for you? Thoughts? Questions?

We’ve all got something–or maybe a few somethings–that we do to get our day started.

I’m not referring to the “roll over and hastily slap the snooze bar of the alarm clock” stuff. Necessary evils like alarm clocks nothwithstanding, we’ve all got a few actions we take that move us into the mindspace of “Ahhh… NOW my day has begun.”

Here’s what I do to begin my day

What works well for me:

Coffee. It’s a classic day-starter, but I enjoy it so much that it’s more than just a quick dose of caffeine for me. It’s a mug of warm Welcome-To-Your-Day refreshment. I always use a favorite mug, one that makes me smile when I use it. And I really revel in those first sips.

Opening my moleskine. The vital pieces of my day, appointments and must-dos, are kept in a bright red moleskine datebook that sits on my desk. I close it up at the end of each day, and at the beginning of each day, I remove the elastic band that holds the book closed, reach for the smooth ribbon that marks the page I’m on, and hear the little crackle of the book’s spine as I open it to reveal the day’s VIPs: Very Important aPpointments. It lets me know the day is really moving forward.

Greeting my vice presidents. I’m a solopreneur, and my vice presidents are my dogs. And when I sit down in my office chair, both of my VPs run over to me for a quick play session. It’s only a couple of minutes of playing tug or fetch before I turn to the computer and they turn to their naps, but it’s a vital part of our routines.

What I’m working on:

Being at the beck and call of my email. I admit it–I’m an email junkie. I love to check my email, and I can’t wait to check it first thing when I sit down at the computer. But giving in to that urge also means that I’m starting my day be being completely reactive to other peoples’ needs and messages, rather than being reflective about my own needs and plans for the day.

Eating breakfast while checking email. I’m so anxious to check email that I rarely finish eating breakfast before giving in to the urge to see what Gmail has in store for me. Of course, once I do that, I stop focusing on the delicious, nourishing food that I’m consuming, and turn my focus to the to-dos, newsletters, and flood of information I’m consuming instead.

What do YOU do to begin your day?

What works really well for you? What are you working on?