As someone with both ADD and anxiety, the holidays press all my buttons. Even if you don’t have any conditions like this, it doesn’t stop the holidays from getting a little nuts. I’d like to share a few things I’m doing differently this year, both in my work and in my life. Maybe you would, too!

What’s working

1. Filling up my heart-well

Because I tend to end up depleted this time of year, I decided to try filling the well of my heart in advance of overwhelm.

Before I start my day, I’ve been taking an hour to read inspirational writings and journal about them. This practice feels so grounding to me. The deep nourishment I experience doing this practice gives me energy to better manage my reactions when troublesome issues arise.

2. Sharing my plans

If you’re planning to take time off, or are feeling frazzled and just not yourself, consider sharing your plans with those impacted by your physical or energetic absence.

Frontloading is a term I use for giving advance notice to anyone who’s impacted by your absence. This allows you to discuss anything they might need and establishes clear boundaries in an open, respectful and loving way.

Want to see frontloading in action? I’m letting you know that I’ll be on retreat from December 11 through January 3. I plan to be incommunicado (no email or phone) the whole time. You’re welcome to email me during that time, I just won’t reply until January. Read below for details on what I’m doing with 3 whole weeks.

If you need anything from me before then, do let me know. I want for you to feel supported!

3. Designating a big chunk of planning time

I am so excited about the upcoming year at Inspired Home Office! There are so many exciting things that will be happening! Nothing is going away, you’ll just find more to choose from to support your organizing and business goals.

To make space for all this new stuff, roughly 10 of my retreat days will be devoted to deep reflection about Inspired Home Office and planning logistics for next year. I’ve decided this activity doesn’t technically count as work (it’s so fun!). I’ve never taken this much time before, so I’m really excited.

4. Simplifying our Christmas plans

Although most of my family members are lapsed Catholics, the urge to celebrate Christmas lives on. It might be in our veins. Or as someone said in Office Spa Day today, “It’s in the air.” My Jewish and Pagan friends laugh lovingly at how even they receive presents for Christmas. It can get a little crazy.

Inspired Spouse and I agreed on a focus word for this year’s festivities: SANE. We’re doing just 3 social engagements, and saying no to everything else. We’re even skipping the holiday party at Inspired Spouse’s work. I’m also sticking to my short list of gift purchases. Our day-of guest list is tiny. I’m testing the boundaries of my comfort zone and I’m ordering Christmas dinner pre-made from our local deli.

Having SANE as our focus word is SO helpful. I think I can do it. If I slip up, I might recall that classic Seinfeld episode where Kramer says “Sanity NOW!” repeatedly.

What I’m working on

Noticing my wildly vivid imagination

My growing edge (besides ordering the deli’s turkey dinner) is recognizing when my creative thinking gets away from me.

Just an example:

The simple thought, “I want to thank so-and-so before the end of the year” can turn into “I should create custom holiday stationery with my logo and send a hand-written note to every person I know both online and in person in the next week — oh! and include an inspiring quote hand-picked for each recipient.” (falls over)

The funny thing? When I think this stuff to myself, I’m crazy-excited! I really really really believe I can do it!

These flashes of brilliance eclipse my rational thinking. While it’s happening, I even believe that I’m thinking rationally. At the moment, the only filter is I have is to get myself half-way through the project, hate myself for taking on so much, and give up feeling defeated.

I’m learning that sometimes it’s enough to just let the idea come up. I can get excited about it, with full knowledge that it’s out of alignment with my SANE intention. Creativity is a blast, but it doesn’t mean I have to do everything I think up.

What do YOU do to stave off the holiday crazies?

Your turn! Please share what you’re doing that helps you – and something that you’re working on with.

Your comments on your own process are welcome. Just remember to give advice only when it’s specifically requested. This makes exploring safe and learning possible for every reader.

It started back in September when I saw the first glittering tree in a store. Ohh noo, I thought. Here it comes.

If you’re the kind of person who has more ideas than time, the holidays are not your friend.

I’m here to tell you lovingly, compassionately, that if you felt like a zombie until March this year like I did, something’s got to give. You can’t do it all. Well, you could do it all, but the cost to your spirit, your business, and your loved ones is high. Consider making this year different.

Media soup

Our imaginations are captivated by images of the perfect turkey, a whirlwind kiss at the stroke of midnight, of towering heaps of presents gorgeously wrapped. More and more, I’m convinced that this advertising is the enemy of creative people. Although these images inspire us, they also give us a standard so high that we could work our fingers to the bone every day for 6 weeks and not enjoy a single moment of it. It’s too much.

The other thing? Imagine being yelled at for a whole month — how rested would you feel on day 30? Yet if you watch TV, read the paper, go online, or receive emails from major retailers, you are subject to this media screaming match. The sheer quantity of marketing messages increases daily until December 24th (1). Retailers want your money and they’ll entice, cajole, intimidate, and holler until you relent.

While the norm is to start shopping in December, but most of us believe we’re behind if we haven’t started by then. In the marketing industry, we’re called panic shoppers — and an amazing array of strategies are used to get us to part with out cash (2). In other words, companies use strategies that deliberately capitalize on your feelings of overwhelm and insecurity.

Whew!

In contrast with the seasons

This holiday hype is more in tune with spring/summer energy — for those lucky enough to be in the Southern hemisphere, at least there’s a bit more congruence.

In the northern hemisphere, we’re slowing down. If you pay attention to the energetic qualities of autumn and winter, you can feel the pull toward gathering, for completion, for storing up, for sloughing off, for deep, bone-loosening rest. These seasonal activities are vital for all living things, including human beings. We need rest in order to gather up energy for spring. We need to slough off so that there is room later for new arrivals. We need to store up so that we’re spared from expending excess energy.

We must exhale all the way out so that we have energy and space to fully receive what comes in. That’s what fall and winter are for.

Oddly enough, we’re the only critters on the planet that try to live contrary to the rhythms of the seasons. Holiday hype doesn’t help matters at all.

Bridging the gap

If you’re craving some sanity and calm, here are three strategies that help you feel less victimized and more grounded through the holiday season.

1. Create an intention for the holidays.

Today’s message includes a holiday gift to you from my heart. It’s a worksheet that helps you identify the essence of your holiday vision. Use it and you’ll actually enjoy your holidays with significantly less stress. You may even want to complete it with your loved ones.

Just print out the Holiday Worksheet (pdf) and fill in the following sections in this order:

1. What words describe how I would like the rest of 2010 to feel? What do I want? What don’t I want?
2. Describe how it is right now (or even how it was last year). What went well? What didn’t go well?
3. Below the green arrow, write all the things you want to do that will help you create the ideal season. Revisit this worksheet often enough to keep yourself on track towards your vision. Add steps as they occur to you.

Hold the intention of storing up energy for the new year. When you write down what you want, you gain clarity about what needs to be left behind and what choices will best support you. Want other ideas? Read on…

2. Say no. A lot.

If you want to let got of long-held family traditions, saying no can be challenging. Several years ago, I made the tough decision to not fly to Connecticut to spend the holidays with my family. It was hard because I get lonesome for them. However, our quiet, inspired celebrations at home truly nourish me in a way that an airport naked-body-scan, 8-hour flight with hundreds of stressed-out passengers, and a too-short visit ever will. It’s a trade-off. Saying no to the stress has made a positive difference in my relationship.

Saying no is an art form. It takes practice. When you say no, keep in mind that you’re really saying yes to the things that nourish you. This might sound selfish, but when your spirit is full, everyone around you benefits. Completing the worksheet above will give you an easier time declining opportunities or requests because they don’t fit.

3. Clean off your desk

Clearing off your workspace a few times between the holidays helps you wrap up unfinished business, and clearing away the related materials. Put tools in their homes so that you can find them again. This process clears the mental slate and makes space for what’s coming in 2011.

If you want support clearing your space, there is still room in both of the December Office Spa Days for enjoyable work time that gently eradicates the clutter and with it the related overwhelm.

One of the things I like to do is leave “breadcrumbs” for my future self. As I clear off my desk for holiday break, I write myself a note that includes instructions for when I get back in January. It feels great to have a reminder of where I left off and what my priorities are in January. Writing it down gets it out of your head so you can completely let go of it until the right time.

A gentle reminder

You do deserve a break and a restful end of the year. Let this message be a small whisper of sanity in the fray ahead. You can have the experiences you want this holiday season — and you’re worth the effort.

It’s totally human to just keep piling on the “yeah, sure, I’ll do thats” without checking to see whether they line up with reality. Unfortunately, this habit also makes you a pre-holiday spaz.

See, overwhelm is a product of being unconscious about your agreements with yourself (and others). If you create awareness, the overwhelm can dissipate.

Shed a little consciousness on the next week.

Feel like doing a little activity?

• Grab a piece of paper or use the comment box below
• Write down how you’d like to feel this holiday (peaceful, happy, calm, etc.)
• Write down the things you want to accomplish before Christmas Eve (business, personal, etc.)
• Look over the list
• Cross off anything that doesn’t bring you closer to how you want to feel this holiday.

This may seem harsh, but it will help you prevent the overwhelm of having so much to do in a short period of time. It will also prevent the collapsed feeling that often follows.

Tomorrow begins my 16- day vacation. Soon, yours will begin too. What will you consciously cut out so you can have the kind of holiday you truly want?

Shall we explore why? Let’s start with a fun little pie graph.

.

Let’s say that this is an image of what an ideal day looks like for the average creative person. You might not agree with everything there, but it’s a stand-in for the kind of life you’d like to have. Balanced, fulfilling, sane.

With me so far?

Okay, good. Let’s say that you have this balanced schedule in mind most of the time as your ideal in life.

Lots of perfectly intelligent people believe they can keep the same schedule while also entertaining, traveling, shopping for gifts, etc. It’ll all work out somehow. “Oh, I’m planning to work on my So-And-So and finish it over the holiday break.” (Sound familiar?) And then January 1 rolls around and they’re internally thrashing themselves for not having completed anything.

Forgetting reality

Time is kind of like the Pauli exclusion principle: two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time. You can’t be working 100% on your business when you’re trying to relax and visit.

The chart above is a circle to represent the fact that there are a finite number of hours in the day. 24 to be exact. In that first wheel, the “work” slice of time has 8 hours. Now, in the big holiday celebration scenario, watch what happens:
.

There’s still balance, it’s just different balance. Work goes down to a measly 3 hours. Instead of solid productivity, those work hours might be an hour here, 30 minutes there checking email.

The trade-off? All the other fun things like more time with family and friends! More yummy food and hanging out snacking on hors d’ouvres! Yay for holidays!

Then why does it feel so not-fun?

Holiday stress comes from not knowing how you’ll fit it all in. From rushing in blindly with a can-do-attitude. You can’t have all those activities and a normal work life. Or you’ll spend half of January recovering.

You can’t. You can’t fit it all in. There isn’t enough time.

So, let’s suppose that you want to enjoy your break and work less (or not at all). If that’s true, then lower your standards. Cut in half (or more) whatever it is you’re planning to do work-wise over the holiday break.

This way, you actually get a chance to be where you are. You can actually enjoy the people you’re with. You might be truly present (what a gift!) and even relax for a change.

Holiday “breaks” don’t happen by themselves.

You have to treat your holiday break like a pie. (Mmmm. Pie…)

Imagine your ideal work day as a yummy pie – and then imagine using a lovely silver serving utensil to cut out a slice. Decide how big a portion of spaciousness you want. Go ahead.

Decide now what work and to-dos are optional before it starts getting crazy. Then set that slice of work aside. It’ll keep. When the holidays are over you can munch on it all you like.

Persuaded?

What will you cut out over the holidays so you enjoy them more? And for bonus points, do share what kind of pie you’d like to have!

It’s the first Monday of November, folks. (How on earth did that happen?)

Now that there’s a mere 9 weeks until the end of the year, many self-employed business owners are doing an end-of-year cram session – trying to finish everything they hoped to do in 2009. Admittedly, I feel tempted to do the same. I get this feeling that I’m running out of time.

You too?

If you’re feeling end-of-year panic, take a breath or two or three. Good long slow ones. None of us is really running out of time. December 31 is just a day – in a long string of many days.

This time of year there’s a focus on the home fires, of gathering and connecting. It doesn’t mesh well with attempting to push through tons of work. So finding a balance is key.

Setting end-of-year goals for 2009

What is currently working well for me:

Being kind to myself. A while back, I made it my intention to treat myself (in my business) the way I would a paid employee. Would I ask an inspired helper to cram? No. Would I ask them to work holidays? No. Would I encourage them to take time off? Of course. So that’s how I’m treating myself. Hard? Yes. : )

Having realistic expectations of myself. I’ve learned over the years that I don’t focus well on my work when I’m preparing for the holidays. So I’m dialing back on the work load for Thanksgiving and taking almost 2 weeks off over Christmas and New Years. That’s a huge shift for me.

Choosing only one end-of-year goal. Truthfully, I have many goals but I wrote all of them down and just chose one for the end of the year. The others I put on the back burner. There’s no point in forcing them all. And I may actually have a chance of getting that one done.

Giving myself permission to rest. This is probably the hardest thing because somewhere inside me is this belief that if I have free time, I “should” be working. But as I found out in September, taking time to rest actually filled up my heart and spirit and gave me all kinds of energy and creativity.

I know this resting stuff is a hard sell for you diligent worker bees – especially if you’re strapped for cash. You think, “I can’t stop – or everything will fall apart.” But consider it.

What I’m currently working on:

Setting aside the time. The only way I really honor my need for rest is by actually putting it in my calendar. By blocking it out, I literally cannot make appointments with others. It’s that visual reminder that I need.

So, I’m going to block out the holidays/breaks I’ve chosen today – before it all runs away with me.

My goals for 2009

• Business: Release the new top-secret product to my newsletter subscribers.
• Business: Continue blogging and writing the newsletter.
• Business: Prepare for my time off so I can really enjoy it.
• Personal: Take off Thanksgiving week and December 21 – Jan 3.
• Personal: Fill up. Be silent. Journal. Pray. Meditate. Soak in all the love.

How about you?

Please share:

1. What’s going well in your end-of-year goal setting ?
2. What are you working on that you’d like to be better?
3. What are your actual goals for the rest of 2009?

Your comments on your own process are welcome. House rules: Give advice to me or others only when it’s specifically requested. This makes exploring safe and learning possible for every reader.