As someone with both ADD and anxiety, the holidays press all my buttons. Even if you don’t have any conditions like this, it doesn’t stop the holidays from getting a little nuts. I’d like to share a few things I’m doing differently this year, both in my work and in my life. Maybe you would, too!

What’s working

1. Filling up my heart-well

Because I tend to end up depleted this time of year, I decided to try filling the well of my heart in advance of overwhelm.

Before I start my day, I’ve been taking an hour to read inspirational writings and journal about them. This practice feels so grounding to me. The deep nourishment I experience doing this practice gives me energy to better manage my reactions when troublesome issues arise.

2. Sharing my plans

If you’re planning to take time off, or are feeling frazzled and just not yourself, consider sharing your plans with those impacted by your physical or energetic absence.

Frontloading is a term I use for giving advance notice to anyone who’s impacted by your absence. This allows you to discuss anything they might need and establishes clear boundaries in an open, respectful and loving way.

Want to see frontloading in action? I’m letting you know that I’ll be on retreat from December 11 through January 3. I plan to be incommunicado (no email or phone) the whole time. You’re welcome to email me during that time, I just won’t reply until January. Read below for details on what I’m doing with 3 whole weeks.

If you need anything from me before then, do let me know. I want for you to feel supported!

3. Designating a big chunk of planning time

I am so excited about the upcoming year at Inspired Home Office! There are so many exciting things that will be happening! Nothing is going away, you’ll just find more to choose from to support your organizing and business goals.

To make space for all this new stuff, roughly 10 of my retreat days will be devoted to deep reflection about Inspired Home Office and planning logistics for next year. I’ve decided this activity doesn’t technically count as work (it’s so fun!). I’ve never taken this much time before, so I’m really excited.

4. Simplifying our Christmas plans

Although most of my family members are lapsed Catholics, the urge to celebrate Christmas lives on. It might be in our veins. Or as someone said in Office Spa Day today, “It’s in the air.” My Jewish and Pagan friends laugh lovingly at how even they receive presents for Christmas. It can get a little crazy.

Inspired Spouse and I agreed on a focus word for this year’s festivities: SANE. We’re doing just 3 social engagements, and saying no to everything else. We’re even skipping the holiday party at Inspired Spouse’s work. I’m also sticking to my short list of gift purchases. Our day-of guest list is tiny. I’m testing the boundaries of my comfort zone and I’m ordering Christmas dinner pre-made from our local deli.

Having SANE as our focus word is SO helpful. I think I can do it. If I slip up, I might recall that classic Seinfeld episode where Kramer says “Sanity NOW!” repeatedly.

What I’m working on

Noticing my wildly vivid imagination

My growing edge (besides ordering the deli’s turkey dinner) is recognizing when my creative thinking gets away from me.

Just an example:

The simple thought, “I want to thank so-and-so before the end of the year” can turn into “I should create custom holiday stationery with my logo and send a hand-written note to every person I know both online and in person in the next week — oh! and include an inspiring quote hand-picked for each recipient.” (falls over)

The funny thing? When I think this stuff to myself, I’m crazy-excited! I really really really believe I can do it!

These flashes of brilliance eclipse my rational thinking. While it’s happening, I even believe that I’m thinking rationally. At the moment, the only filter is I have is to get myself half-way through the project, hate myself for taking on so much, and give up feeling defeated.

I’m learning that sometimes it’s enough to just let the idea come up. I can get excited about it, with full knowledge that it’s out of alignment with my SANE intention. Creativity is a blast, but it doesn’t mean I have to do everything I think up.

What do YOU do to stave off the holiday crazies?

Your turn! Please share what you’re doing that helps you – and something that you’re working on with.

Your comments on your own process are welcome. Just remember to give advice only when it’s specifically requested. This makes exploring safe and learning possible for every reader.

Away from what? Good question. I made the mistaken assumption that my sources of anxiety were outside of me. I believed if I left them behind for a few days that all would be well. I can hear you chuckling. The only thing that all my problems have in common is me.

I’m going on a picnic and I’ll bring…

Remember that game? I’ll bring an apple, banana, carrot, etc.? Well, I started with the b’s. I brought my brain.

What I realized after my first day on retreat is that although I was physically removed from my life, my head came along with me. You know that thing that offers a running narrative on your moment-to-moment actions and thoughts? That. And considering that my brain also runs all my bodily functions, I just couldn’t leave it at home.

Removing myself from my life gave me the opportunity to pay attention to and listen to what was going on in my mind. Let me tell you, there’s a reason why we delay taking time off or time alone – it’s hard to sit with those voices.

During our daily lives we do a lot of things that push down or pacify those voices. For me, it’s Twitter, email and Facebook… but it can be a lot of things. Television, web surfing, gossiping, arguing, sudoku, eating, and busywork can all help us push away our thoughts – at least temporarily.

When you get quiet or get away, there they remain, waiting for your attention.

I’m also bringing my heart.

In addition to my brain, I also brought my soft, squishy lub-dubber with me.

The distracting activities I mentioned above are also effective at preventing feelings from coming up. Especially emotions that are uncomfortable, sad, or painful. It’s a way of caring for yourself, these activities, if you don’t have room for them in your life or support to deal with them.

While I was on retreat, I felt anxious at times, sad, reverent, peaceful, irritated… just like in my normal life. Being “away” didn’t change that.

What was different, though, is that on retreat I had the spaciousness to sit with all the feelings that arose and treat them as honored guests. Or at least as tolerable visitors. I don’t always have room in my life for this. My heart wasn’t confined or busy. As the days went by, I felt lighter and lighter.

I got quiet enough to listen to to my heart’s wants and needs without skepticism and really honor them. By listening well, I discovered that this fall, my heart wants to focus on clearing out, saying “no”, pruning what isn’t life-giving, and allowing some things to pass away in my life. Considering that I often focus on growth and expansion, this was a refreshing surprise. And a relief.

Well… and you, too.

Here was the most surprising thing: when my brain had had its say and my heart felt open and expansive… well, I started feeling really rested and happy. I stopped thinking about me and started thinking about and sending loving thoughts toward my loved ones, my friends, and eventually all the people in my community including you. This came naturally and I couldn’t help it.

When I got filled up, it easily overflowed to everything and everyone else. That’s how it’s supposed to work.

The moral of the story

You may have read the first and second part to this mini-series on retreats as self-care. If you have, wow… thanks for hanging in there with me. Now that we’ve reached part three, I’ll tell you the moral of the story: you are nature.

Woah, what?

That’s right: You are nature. And nature rests. Look at any garden in the northern hemisphere right now. You’ll see they’re all settling in for a nice 3-5 month nap without guilt or excuses or even a solid timeline for recommencing.

I waited two-and-a-half years before I took a much-needed rest. I’m committing here and now to retreating for 4 days every 3 months – even though I’m not yet sure how I’ll make it happen. I’m worth it – and so are you.

This post is one of a 4-part series on retreats. To read the rest, visit the links below:

Part 1: Laughs, Tears, and Rodents with Fancy Tails
Part 2: Get More Done by Not Doing Anything
Part 3: How the Retreat Really Went
Part 4: Is Your Spirit Tank on Empty? 10 steps to your retreat

What are you needing rest-wise?