You notice the display at Office Big Box has furniture that look so organized and tidy.

You drool over the latest office feature in Martha’s magazine that looks so adorably perky.

The green-eyed monster has moved into your office and has taken over whatever semblance of  confidence you may have had.

How’d that happen?

It’s natural to look around you for solutions – especially if you’re stuck or dissatisfied with something in your life. And while searching for ideas and inspiration is great, it’s downright depressing to look at how others do it and compare theirs to yours.

“That’s so expensive, I don’t have that kind of money to spend.”
“That looks impossibly neat, I could never keep my office as clean as she does.”
“My office isn’t that big, I don’t have anywhere to put anything!”
“I’ve got so much paper and stuff, I could never get my office to look like that.”

Do these comments sound depressingly familiar?

Or, worst of all, there’s:

Thank God no one sees my office.

Comparison, unveiled.

When you compare, you see differences. And they keep you stuck. Comparison can make you feel badly about how your office looks, your self worth, and even doubt whether you’re an effective business owner. Comparison can become a downward spiral of self-doubt and self-loathing.

If you feel some of those terrible feelings about yourself or your office, you’re not alone.

The answers aren’t out there. They’re in here.

If you’re struggling to put order and beauty in your workspace, I want to let you in on a secret: the key is inside you.

You can look at a million websites for ideas and read dozens of books about organizing, but all that information will not change how your office looks or feels. I’ll bet you already know that.

If you’re looking outside of yourself for answers, you’re missing out on a valuable resource: your own wisdom.

Self-defining vs. comparison

All those people you were comparing yourself to? They all had something in common:

• Your best buddy knew what she wanted.
• The Office Big Box furniture designers knew what they wanted.
• That Martha Stewart – she knew what she wanted (doesn’t she always?).

It’s not like they all had some magic formula that you can’t access. Each of them had a vision – and then they created it in real life.

Find your vision

To banish the green-eyed monster and gain back your workspace mojo, here are 3 practical steps to take:

1. Ask yourself what you want.

What is it you need to work peacefully in your office? No matter how far from it you may feel, write it down or draw a picture of it – and describe it in as much detail as possible.

The purpose of doing this is to forge a clear idea of what your perfect office is like. When you see ideas in magazines, they become tools rather than deterrents to your progress.

2. Figure out what your parameters are.

What’s your budget, space needs, storage needs, etc. This puts your vision into real-life perspective.

3. Start taking small steps toward your vision.

Once you’re clear, the best thing to do is take action. Sitting on your hands will just make you frustrated. What’s one small thing you can accomplish toward your vision? What’s a tiny thing you can do today?

The important thing is to focus on small steps, because they add up. And they’re so much more compassionate.

A few weeks ago, I asked readers to send in questions about their home office struggles and anything they’ve been wondering about. I made this request partly because I just like to hear from you.

And also, of course, because I want to help.

I received an email from my buddy, Karen, who is a parent coach (and a darned good one!) in Portland, Oregon. Here is what she said:

Well, [my issue is] not at all wacky, but actually fairly boring. MAIL! It’s taking over! UGH!

Okay, taking a deep breath now. . . I got behind on a bunch of stuff and I’m a bit overwhelmed getting caught up again, so my desk looks like a typhoon hit it. Not sure when I will have time to clean it either. Thank god it’s a roll top!

Anyway, some strategies for handling mail and maybe for handling a back log without the overwhelm would be great!

The thing I love about Karen’s email is that it’s so honest. We all have times in life like this and maybe you laughed in self-recognition reading it – I know I did! So when you read this, Karen, just know that you’re in good company.

From the backlog – into flow

You probably know what a backlog looks like. If you say the word “backlog” out loud, it just feels depressing. And trying to “get through” a backlog pile can feel like a daunting, overwhelming, sloggy task.

Breaking it down

The most important thing to know about a pile of accumulated anything is that it’s made up of individual parts. It may look like one thing – a big pile – but if you look really closely, it has many separate pieces.

If you’re in the place that Karen describes, there’s just one way forward: pick up a single piece. Open it.

Then get rid of what you don’t want (envelopes, “don’t miss out” offers, credit card checks, etc.). Keep the bits that you really do want or need.

Then pick up the next piece. If you focus on one at a time, really focus on it, it helps keep the overwhelm at bay.

Tracking the important bits

If you do this for 20 minutes or so, what you’ll end up with is a pile of to-do’s. Things to file, things to follow up on, bills to pay, etc.

You may find it handy to write a list of these actions as you go so you don’t have to keep the whole pile on your desk to remind you.

Get support

If you’re overwhelmed by the pile you’re facing, that is totally okay (not to mention normal)!

You might want to do some self-nourishment before, during, and after the time that you work on it. Maybe you’d like a nice cup of tea or cocoa to sip on. Or some of your favorite music at a rousing volume. You could even include a trusted friend to assist you in person or maybe check in with someone by phone when you’re done to get a dose of encouragement.

It can also help to set a timer or otherwise restrict the amount of time you work on this project. A specific amount of time helps you make decisions faster and can give you some relief knowing an end is in sight.

Things to try

An overwhelm reframe

It’s common to have all kinds of fearful or judgmental thoughts about a backlog of stuff. If you notice these thoughts coming up, make space for them – and then remind yourself of how important your work is to you, your clients, to the world.

Instead of a “beat-self-up” session, choose to make your downsizing process an act of love and service to your business. Bring your heart into it.

Separate the wheat from the chaff

After establishing a time limit, pick up once piece at a time and decide what you’d like to do with it. Be kind to yourself by stopping when you agreed to (unless you’re really having fun).

Think sustainably

Next week, we’ll explore ways to stem the tide before it crashes in. Tune in then and find easy and encouraging ways to increase your peace and decrease mail-related stress before it happens.

Have you been asked yet?

If they haven’t already, you know someone’s going to ask you, “What’s your New Year’s resolution this year?”

A lot of folks roll their eyes because they know that, come mid-February, we’ve forgotten what we’d even resolved to do.

Why the skepticism? Because changing is hard work.

Does deciding make change happen?

Unfortunately, sometimes merely deciding isn’t enough.

A client of mine recently resolved to give up smoking (I’m so proud). But because nicotine is an addictive drug, she’s had to do a lot more than just decide. Can you imagine?! It’s a daily, sometimes minute-by-minute commitment to choose one thing over another.

She’s reaching out for support, has a clear goal, and a specific plan. Yup, it helps a lot when you have a plan.

A Resolution Revolution

The problem with a resolution is that it’s just short of a wish. It can be a positive, healthy idea (losing 10 pounds, stopping nagging, writing more letters, etc.) – but often lacks a coherent game plan.

I’ve been proudly following my Patriots winning season this year (say what you will about recorded calls and a historic “fumble”). They have a huge goal: another Super Bowl.

And they plan – one step at a time – to get to their destination.

You can get there.

Instead of creating a resolution your forget later – or rejecting the whole resolution idea entirely – why not set yourself up for success?

There’s a camp of folks that say that a goal should be SMART: specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-specific. When a goal has all 5 of these attributes, it’s easier to understand where you have to go – and recognize when you’ve arrived.

But you still need one more thing…

The missing link

The plan of action.

Let’s say you resolve to increase your income for 2008. Your SMART goal could be something like: “After expenses, I want to make $2,500 monthly (or more) for 10 out of 12 months in 2008.” Sounds great! Yay, you!

Your plan of action will then list out the details of how this will happen. Will you cut down on some expenses? Will you complete the product you’ve been working on? Will you offer a class or promote your services in a new way?

Writing down the steps that will get you from where you are today to your destination is the best way to actualize your resolution.

Things to try

1. Write your plan down and post it somewhere visible

I love dry erase or wipe-off markets for this. Last year I bought wrapping paper on clearance and used the blank side to create a wall chart for my goals. You could use a bulletin board or clipboard if space is more limited. Making your plan interactive and visually appealing helps keep it fresh.

2. Set up a reminder system to help you stay accountable

If your enthusiasm tends to wane after time, use Outlook or other organizing software to schedule time to work on the steps as well as give you reminders to help you stay on track. You might also consider including a trusted business friend to be an “accountability buddy” – they may want the same from you!

3. Keep track of your progress

Make appointments in your calendar to check in regularly about where you are along your path. If it’s a resolution for the year, for example, checking in monthly might be good. You might like to do this more frequently when you start and less so once you’re moving.

A final thought:

The Wise and Wonderful “They” say that it takes 3-4 weeks to form a new, healthy habit. So give yourself time to dream, write up your plan, and then get moving!

I really thought I was broken.

I would forget an appointment, for example. When I discovered the error, all h-e-double-toothpicks would break loose inside my brain. I’d spew all kinds of insults and admonishments at myself.

After that internal tongue lashing, I’d resolve, once and for all, to change. To myself and others. To always show up reliably, no matter what. To be neat, once and for all.

If you want to make the gods laugh, tell them your plans.

You can guess what would happen next. Despite my best efforts, things would fall apart again, and the whole cycle would repeat. What a struggle.

Some of my clients, bless them, are facing years of chronic disorganization and they honestly believe that they are broken. They’ve tried to get organized and feel they’ve failed. Many times they’ve resolved, once and for all, to “get it together” but have not been able to implement organizing ideas consistently or with much success.

Until they start working with me, some of my clients don’t believe it’s even possible to be effective in business because their space is so out of control. How sad!

Rewriting the story

Chances are good that you want to contribute something positive to the world through your work. You believe that your gifts are valuable – and that healing and harmony come about when they are shared.

This is true.

And if you feel overwhelmed in your workspace or in your role as a business owner, consider this: these strong feelings and frustrations are not validation of your failure. They’re a call to pay closer attention. They’re your inner guidance system telling you that change is imminent.

Use discomfort to your advantage

The good news about negative feelings like embarrassment and frustration is that, eventually, they cause you to act.

That’s where the urge to “do it right once and for all” comes from. But it’s important to pause so that you can point that energy in the most effective direction.

I firmly believe that nothing is “once and for all,” there are only steps in the right direction.

For example…

My clothes live in my office closet, and it’s been a tenuous peace.

You can bet I’ve had my share of those “once and for all” conversations about the condition of the closet and the laundry hamper next to it.

Logistically, there’s no where else for the clothes to live. After many resolutions to never be messy again, I’ve deliberately begun to make small steps toward my vision of an office that supports my business completely.

My energy and attention are focused on where I want to go, not on what I’m doing “wrong.”

Action in the “right” direction

When I’d had enough of the losing battle with my clothes, I took action. I found the hamper lid – so now I’m not distracted by my laundry. I purchased hangers for my pants that are fun to use – so I’m more motivated to hang them up.

Does it work all the time? No.

But, the fundamental question is this: is it closer to my vision? Yes. Can I concentrate on my business better as a result of these adjustments? Yes. Is it more effective than chastising myself? Yes.

Will it take awareness on my part to work more effectively? Absolutely.

What’s important is that you make progress, one step at a time – in service to yourself, your business, and ultimately your clients.

Things to try

1. Take the long view

Imagine a day in your future where your office and its systems completely supported your business. What would it look like?

Create a picture in your mind that is compelling and invigorating. Go to the next step when you’ve completed this one.

2. Look at the short view (right now)

If you’ve been tolerating an intolerable space for a while, take a deep breath and look courageously around you. See at the reality of the place you work.

If your struggles have more to do with procrastination or incomplete work, stop for a moment to take stock of what is actually going on. What is really happening?

3. Draw a line between them

Hold the vision of where you want to go in your mind and beside it, the reality of where you are.

When you do this, the path to get there becomes clear. Write down what steps you want to take – and make them small, incremental steps so that you can notice and get rewarded by the changes as you go.