How thinking gets you into trouble – and gets you out of it, too.

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Sometimes it’s not the clutter.

Sometimes it’s what we think that causes the most trouble.

Imagine sitting down at your computer to check your email and, when you open the inbox, the number total unopened emails is in the 4-digits.

You look at that number glowing on your screen and quietly think to yourelf,

“I’m so behind. I’m never going to catch up.”

That little comment to yourself is so quiet that you hardly even notice it. Even if you do, it’s so quick, it barely registers before you’re on to the next thing.

Looking deeper

The effect that thought has on you is immense. Deep in your brain, that thought triggers a response to a threat. Your body begins to prepare for battle or flight – skin begins to sweat, heart rate increases, adrenaline is released to give you the power to run.

Most of the time, you have no idea it’s even happening. Your brain is on auto-pilot.

The problem is that you can’t put this response to good use. You can’t punch your inbox’s lights out. And, faced with 1000 emails, you probably won’t take flight and run screaming down the hall. All the body triggers are out of alignment with the actual stimulus.

Overload

Worst of all, if you’re like a lot of stressed-out, busy people, you’re constantly thinking these kinds of thoughts:

I’m so behind.
I should have this done by now.
I promised I’d have this back to her.
My client is showing up any minute.
I’m never going to get caught up.
I’ll never break through.
I forgot that AGAIN!?
I should be doing way more than I am.

Say these kinds of things to yourself enough times and you’ll feel like you’re always running and always fighting for some peace.

Case in point

If you’ve ever had the illusion that Jen Hofmann has it all figured out, think again. A couple of months ago I started having heart fluttering and chest pain – accompanied by pretty awful digestive problems. I had no idea what was going on and I was really scared.

Interestingly, right before the symptoms started, I had been thinking about how January was (in my mind) “a wash” and I kept telling myself, “I wasted a whole month. I should have been doing more to grow my business.”

I was talking myself into a mental frenzy – for what? January was fine.

When the symptoms started, I failed to see what a compassionate physician did: I was stressed to the point of anxiety. All because of my thoughts.

Stress isn’t a baseline state

When it comes to surviving en encounter with an angry mastodon, stress is a lifesaver. But when your opponent is your inbox or your kitchen counter or the vacuum cleaner, that level of stress is out of alignment. We all do it, but it really does us harm. Ask any cardiac expert.

Thoughts are an inside job

Lots of people jump to the conclusion that if the inbox is causing you stress, the solution is to clean it out. I say, woah there. Not so fast.

Instead, I invite you on a journey of far greater subtlety:

1. Practice noticing your thoughts.

Like a lot of people, if you can’t see something, it doesn’t exist. Inspired Spouse suggested yesterday that I start keeping a list of the thoughts that come up for me. What a fabulous idea. I’m keeping a running list for the next week, just to see what’s there.

Neutrally observing your beliefs is freeing in a way that a desperately clean desk isn’t.

2. See your thoughts as visitors, not guests.

Instead of opening the door and willy-nilly letting in any thought, ask yourself if you want what they’re selling.

Just because a Girl Scout rings the bell, doesn’t mean she can move into the guest room. Just because you think you’re behind, doesn’t mean that belief needs to move in and run your life.

When you start seeing your thoughts as visitors, you’re actively loosening the hold they have on your spirit – not to mention your autonomic nervous system. You get to decide what stays and what goes – which is empowering.

3. Gently start sending your thoughts away.

In other words, when you notice a thought, don’t cause more damage by telling yourself, “Dummy! Why are you thinking that again?”

Be gentle.

Notice if there are thoughts you want to release because they’re not really true. If you’re feeling behind, behind compared to what? What if it were okay to be exactly where you are right now, even if it’s not where you wanted to be?

The key is to begin to cultivate gentleness toward yourself.

The thoughts inside your head are sometimes harsh and cruel – and you can’t thrive in an environment like that. When you put your spirit in front of the line, the thoughts may still come up but they won’t run your life. It might be a long journey to get to that place, but just think of the possibilities.

Thoughts? Yeah, buts? Me toos?

10 comments

The “What do YOU do?” series gives you a glimpse into my life as a messy, creative person and invites you to share your organizing insights and ideas.

Online distractions.

Although the Web and email are all pretty handy tools, sometimes they’re so visually stimulating that they feel like threats. Enemies. Barriers to concentration.

If you want to focus, there are lots of ways to prevent distraction and still get the most from these tools.

Here’s what I do prevent online distraction

• Close browser tabs - Firefox and Internet Explorer (and I’m sure many other browsers) allow users to open an infinite number of tabs. I just know that if the little tab says Facebook, I will click on it whether I really want to go on Facebook or not. So I keep it (and other distracting websites) closed. In fact, I keep as few open as possible. Usually just my gmail and gcal are open.

• Prevent popups - Most of us know about pop-ups from websites. But I’m talking about the pop-ups that Skype creates every time one of my contacts gets online. And the pop-up on gmail when someone wants to instant message me. And the pop-up that appears when an email comes into your inbox.

Concentration is hard enough without pop-ups, so I’ve turned them all off. With Skype, I have to actually log off. With gmail, I have to select my status as “offline”. If you have Outlook, you can opt out of the “so-and-so has sent you a message” announcements. And good riddance!

Here’s what I’m working on

• Twitter and Tweetdeck – I’m not sure I’m actually working on this, but I’m aware that although I keep very few browser windows open, I almost always have TweetDeck (a tool that makes Twitter easier to use) open. I’m still figuring out if it’s a distraction or a tool – or both.

What do YOU do that minimizes online distractions?

Your turn! If you’d like, please share what you’re doing that helps you in your business and/or life – and also something that you’re working on/experimenting with.

Your comments on your own process are welcome. Just remember to give advice to me or others only when it’s specifically requested. This makes exploring safe and learning possible for every reader.

5 comments

I love this quote.

“You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.” — E. L. Doctorow (via @artcetera)

If you’re frustrated by the amount of email you have, or the amount of work, or the volume of paper on your desk, or the frazzled nerves in your brain, or the lack of time to do things…

Just remember that you don’t have to do the whole thing. You only need to do the next thing.

• If you have boatload of work to do, pick one thing – even the easiest thing – and start with that.
• If you have a ton of email to read and reply to, start with the one on the bottom.
• If you haven’t had time to write a single Christmas or New Year’s card, don’t do all of them. Just start with one.

It’s the season where you can knock yourself flat, deplete your spirit, and snarl at loved ones.  Not because you want to, but because there’s just so much happening at once that it’s hard to decide where to start.

Just like the quote says, shine your light on one thing. Start with that. You’ll still get to your destination – and you might even feel lighter and more peaceful when you arrive.

For me, that means clicking “publish” on this post so I can share it with you.

What’s the next thing for you?

12 comments

The “What do YOU do?” series invites you to share your organizing insights and ideas and gives you a glimpse into my life as a messy, creative person. Jump in – you’re an expert on your own experience.

Knowing I have a lot of un-replied-to emails in my inbox stresses me out. The story in my head is something like, “I should reply to people as soon as they email me.” But that is a very stressful (and unrealistic) expectation.

Replying to email promptly and sanely.

What is currently working well for me:

I have structures. Twice a day, 3 days a week, I’ve scheduled 30 minutes with my inbox. It’s written on my Google calendar and I get a little pop-up “ding dong!” 10 minutes before hand. That’s 3ish hours a week devoted to checking and answering email.

I have systems. When folks purchase The Wish Kit or sign up for my newsletter, I use a special auto-responder that sends them a confirmation email. I don’t have to be at my desk for them to receive what they ordered. It’s sweet. It’s fast.

The other system I recently implemented is setting up 1-on-1 appointments using timedriver.com (hat tip: Marissa Bracke). This has saved me countless back-and-forth emails trying to find a convenient meeting time across time zones. Whew!

What I’m currently working on:

I want to reply faster. Confession time. At the moment, I have emails awaiting responses that are over 3 weeks old. And one from Charlie Gilkey that’s from August. Please, please don’t compare yourself against this – what I’m getting at is the anxiety I feel from having a high volume of email and not replying as quickly as I’d like. Yuck.

It all goes back to the days when I was in school and trying to hide the fact that I’d forgotten to do my homework for the Nth time. Oh, the shame… Email makes me feel this way sometimes.

Differentiating between IHO emails and personal emails. All my emails come to one box. I don’t fritter a lot of time away on personal emails during work time, but I do forget to answer them entirely once the computer is shut off for the weekend.

3 hours a week isn’t enough. It’s hard, but it’s true. I think the remedy is in the next section.

Differentiating between informational email and work email. By this I mean that some emails are ones I can read and file easily. Done. Other emails are requests for work, for time, for attention. I cannot read and file these, because they’re incomplete. I’m still learning how to say no to some requests for my time and how to follow-through effectively on others.

How do YOU return email promptly?

Please share what works for you -  and what you’re still learning!

Your comments on your own process are welcome. House rules: Give advice to me or others only when it’s specifically requested. This makes exploring safe and learning possible for every reader.

4 comments

We’ve all got something–or maybe a few somethings–that we do to get our day started.

I’m not referring to the “roll over and hastily slap the snooze bar of the alarm clock” stuff. Necessary evils like alarm clocks nothwithstanding, we’ve all got a few actions we take that move us into the mindspace of “Ahhh… NOW my day has begun.”

Here’s what I do to begin my day

What works well for me:

Coffee. It’s a classic day-starter, but I enjoy it so much that it’s more than just a quick dose of caffeine for me. It’s a mug of warm Welcome-To-Your-Day refreshment. I always use a favorite mug, one that makes me smile when I use it. And I really revel in those first sips.

Opening my moleskine. The vital pieces of my day, appointments and must-dos, are kept in a bright red moleskine datebook that sits on my desk. I close it up at the end of each day, and at the beginning of each day, I remove the elastic band that holds the book closed, reach for the smooth ribbon that marks the page I’m on, and hear the little crackle of the book’s spine as I open it to reveal the day’s VIPs: Very Important aPpointments. It lets me know the day is really moving forward.

Greeting my vice presidents. I’m a solopreneur, and my vice presidents are my dogs. And when I sit down in my office chair, both of my VPs run over to me for a quick play session. It’s only a couple of minutes of playing tug or fetch before I turn to the computer and they turn to their naps, but it’s a vital part of our routines.

What I’m working on:

Being at the beck and call of my email. I admit it–I’m an email junkie. I love to check my email, and I can’t wait to check it first thing when I sit down at the computer. But giving in to that urge also means that I’m starting my day be being completely reactive to other peoples’ needs and messages, rather than being reflective about my own needs and plans for the day.

Eating breakfast while checking email. I’m so anxious to check email that I rarely finish eating breakfast before giving in to the urge to see what Gmail has in store for me. Of course, once I do that, I stop focusing on the delicious, nourishing food that I’m consuming, and turn my focus to the to-dos, newsletters, and flood of information I’m consuming instead.

What do YOU do to begin your day?

What works really well for you? What are you working on?

7 comments

There are some who say that email is dead. Obsolete.

Bah, I say! Email is alive and well. And growing, if the current state of my inbox is any indication.

It’s my intention to not let email run my life. I want to choose it instead of feeling controlled by it.

Here is how I prevent email overwhelm

What works well:

I give myself permission to not reply to everything. Even delete stuff without replying.

I sort out the non-urgent stuff without having to look at it. I set up filters and folders in my Gmail account which has been a lifesaver.

I use a vacation responder on the weekends. It tells anyone who emails me when I’ll be back. That way I’m absolved of the guilty feelings I get when I know someone is waiting for a reply.

As a general rule, I clear out my inbox weekly. I read email more frequently than that, but a mostly empty inbox is my goal once per week.

Lastly, I have an email account that is bottomless. Gmail lets me “archive” as many emails as I want so I don’t have to get rid of them, ever.

What I’m working on

Easing up. Email is often a somewhat helpful distraction when I’m trying to think up ideas. Instead of berating myself for checking email when I don’t need to, I’m getting better at being gentle with myself.

Starting at the end. Since my goal is to clear out once per week, I have begun responding first to the people who’ve waited the longest. This takes a HUGE load off my shoulders. It’s just hard to do because the new email always seems more fun and interesting to me.

What do YOU do to prevent email overwhelm?

What works really well for you? What are you working on?

Share your organizing insights and ideas! Remember to be kind to yourself and others.

36 comments

The whys and wherefores of virtual spring cleaning

So first of all, let me ‘fess up that today’s topic is as much catharsis for me as it might be for you.

Confession: I subscribe to stuff I never intent to read.

I mean, I want to read about my friends’ businesses, and my airline’s latest deals, and that cool networking organization in town. But when push comes to shove, I don’t. It just clutters up my inbox enough that I sometimes miss the important stuff.

What that means to have inbox clutter

Every email you receive requires you to make decisions.

“Do I think I’ll need this?”
“Do I have time to read this right now?”
“Do I have time to respond?”
“Should I keep this?”
“Arrgh! What was I doing?”

Whether your inbox has 40 or 1400 unread messages, it’s no wonder you feel ill thinking about it. There’s a lot of work.

That’s the other thing about inbox clutter – overwhelm. If you’re like most people, you have a belief that you “should” make a choice about each email. You “should” read each on thoroughly. Respond to each thoughtfully. And believing all these things makes a body overwhelmed.

Dood. You do not have to deal with each and every email in your inbox.

Honest.

However, you might want to deal with some of them. I mean, there’s some good stuff in there, too. Right?

Virtual Spring Cleaning

If this topic is striking a nerve for you, consider one of two suggestions to virtually spring clean your inbox.

The short-term approach:

Start deleting stuff you don’t want when it arrives. Even if you think you “should” read it. There’s a handy little “delete” button on most email programs for that very purpose.

Warning: it might feel odd.

Doing this reminds me of those gorgeous, colorful mandalas that Buddhist monks create. They spend hours, days creating intricate patterns with individual grains of sand. When it’s all complete, they sweep it all up.

Gone. No attachment. It might take some practice to not be attached, but it’s a lofty intention. It’s also a powerful way to care for yourself.

The long term approach:

If you google “email clutter” you will find a million good ideas on how to make progress in this area.

Here’s what I suggest: start noticing and being curious about ways to prevent email. It’s that old adage about an ounce of prevention being worth a pound of cure.

Unsubscribe.

Do you subscribe to newsletters you never read? At the bottom of each of them is a link you can click that will stop you from receiving them forever. If you get 4 per month, that prevents almost 50 emails.

Every now and then, Inspired Home Office gets a smattering of “unsubscribes” from the newsletter. I confess, it used to hurt my feelings… but one day I realized. Hey! You’re decluttering! How cool is that?! Now I celebrate them. (Call me crazy, but I call it progress.)

Stop subscribing.

Do you sign up for every cool person’s RSS feed? Do you give your email away to any company that asks? Start noticing if you’d like to be more discriminate before the emails start pouring in.

I do this a lot with mail-order companies. If you purchase one thing, they often start sending you promotions right away. If they have a click box during the payment process, I “opt out” then so I never have to decide again.

Try filters, rules, and secondary folders

If you want to, you can use your email program to do the heavy lifting for you.

Most of us understand how spam filters work. You can use this same concept to automatically filter out messages from people or companies you want to hear from, just not right now.

Though every email program is different, most allow you to filter messages to bypass the inbox and stick them into a secondary folder you can read at your pleasure. I do this and it’s WAY less distracting to check my email – and way less overwhelming. I dare say it’s even fun.

The goal is to decide once – and free up your precious time and energy.

It takes time, but you’re worth it.

Care to comment?

Readers are talking about email a lot lately.

My computer is cluttered. I have no idea how to clear it out. What guidelines do I to use to figure out whether to let go of something or keep it?

Another reader sent me this message just yesterday:

I have a backlog of messages, some of which are stored in files, some not, that I need to go through and sort out.

So do you have any suggestions about how I should tackle this? Should I just set aside several hours and go through the whole lot (and try in future not to accumulate!) or should I do a bit of time over a longer period?

A third reader piped up with a book recommendation for The Hamster Revolution: How to Manage your E-mail before it Manages You by Mike Song, Tim Burress, and Vicky Habey. (I haven’t read it, but it sounds great!)

I’m delighted you’re asking for ideas about how the heck to get rid of this stuff. It’s overwhelming, isn’t it?

Your way is the best way

I got started organizing because I was painfully disorganized. I tried to read books about how to “do it right” and you know what? I never finished them. I made stern resolutions, but I couldn’t remember all the tips I’d learned – and things would fall apart and worse.

Because I’ve been there, I love sharing my ideas for you. But remember there’s a Wise Self inside of you. No one knows what’s right for you more than you do.

The magic question

What got me out of overwhelm and disorganization was learning to ask myself: “What do I need?” I’d get stressed or overwhelmed, I’d miss a deadline or forget an appointment. After giving myself some grace, I’d ask, “What is it I need so I can do this better?”

That is the magic question.

Once you ask this, trust. Trust what you need. You may hang on to email because you feel afraid of losing its valuable information. You may be ready and want to get rid of some of it. Wherever you are, read through these suggestions and then ask yourself, “Is this what I need?” You’ll find an answer that’s right for you (and if you don’t, let’s talk).

Things to try

1. Purge email when you want to:

If you have a full Inbox right now and you want to downsize it, congratulations. That’s progress! Hampster Revolution recommends choosing an arbitrary number in advance (like 42) and just get rid of that many emails in one sitting.

Set a timer for 20 or so minutes to make it less painful and possibly faster. Then set another time to do it again. Small chunks of time might be more palatable and productive. Personally, I’d rather have a root canal than clear out email for 8 hours solid.

If you want to archive emails that are taking up space on your computer, you can use a backup hard drive, USB thumb drives or archival quality DVDs to store them long term.

You might want to put a date on your archives. If you haven’t opened or accessed the information stored by the date you choose, you can purge them permanently.

2. Give critical information a place to live:

If you don’t know where it is, it’s harder to find.

Point 1: It’s darn-near impossible to sort through email to find what you need. So don’t use email to keep track of time-sensitive information, contact information, or other details. Instead, keep it where you’re going to need it eventually anyway.

I recommend having an electronic or paper calendar handy so you can plop in info you’ll need. When the appointment rolls around, it’s all there for you.

Point 2: Because too much Inbox mail is visually overstimulating, don’t store anything in your Inbox but new emails. No “to-dos” in there. No reminders to follow-up. Nada.

To accomplish this, let it live somewhere you’ll find it. Create a place to store the emails you need but that aren’t urgent.

One way to do this is with filters. They’re amazing! Filters automatically screen incoming emails and send them into folders you design. This feature is available in Microsoft Outlook and several other email programs.

This screen shot shows you the filter categories I’ve assigned in my own account. When an email comes in from b5, Gmail filters it and automatically pops it into the correct folder for me.

Then, when I feel like reading my 13 newsletters, I will. But they don’t clog up my Inbox while they sit waiting.

3. Grant yourself permission to not choose:

I really believe that removing clutter adds freedom and energy to your life.

However, I have a clutter-removing exception for email. If you use a free email program like Google or Yahoo that offers unlimited storage, you can let yourself off the hook.

Why force yourself to purge old stuff if you don’t have to? As long as messages aren’t gumming up your Inbox, you can breathe easy. See that little “Archive” button in the screen shot? It removes the selected email from your Inbox, but stores message forever.

I particularly like Gmail because it has a very powerful search engine so I can easily retrieve old messages by name, content, subject, date and more.

Summing up

If you’re loaded down with emails in your inbox:

– Start whittling away at old Inbox emails a few at a time
– Check out using filters to weed out what’s urgent and what’s not
– See if you have unlimited storage – and decide if it will help you

Care to comment?