How non-judgment can heal the chaos

If you look around you in overwhelm at the stuff that’s still on your desk from who-knows-when, take solace.

Sometimes that stuff is there because it’s comforting. It might even help you feel like you have a handle on things better than if it were all tucked invisibly away. This physical stuff can help you feel grounded – even if it’s more than you really want around you all the time.

There’s a beautiful thing at work when you keep clutter around you this way.

Stuff – it’s self-care. It’s compassion.

In a world that can sometimes seem hostile and overwhelming, it can be comforting to return to the familiar of your stuff. You can see it. It’s real. And it’s yours.

You’re waiting for the “but,” right?

Don’t be surprised that there isn’t a “but.”

If having your stuff around you makes you feel safer, I applaud you for finding a little peace in this life. A lot of people don’t.

If you make neat little piles of things because you need to feel some kind of control in life, good for you. This is beautiful. It’s self-care.

If you print things very sparingly, using the both sides of all your papers, aware of the environmental impact of using tree-based products. This helps you feel like you’re making a difference. Brava to you.

There’s nothing wrong with any of this.

Even if you’re embarrassed about how your office looks or the way you do things, I want to tell you now: they’re perfect. You’re perfect – because you’re doing your best to care for yourself.

Compassion. Acceptance. We all need it.

The trouble starts when you judge your behaviors with a mean and critical eye.

You look at the stuff around you and The Committee chimes in with their interpretation of your shortcomings, foibles, and failures. “You should be this,” and “You should do that.” They’re a bossy bunch, aren’t they?

What gives?

Let me tell you: There isn’t a single “should” in organizing. You don’t have to use those ugly manila folders. You don’t have to get rid of that pile (or roomful) of receipts. You don’t have to sit in an uncomfortable chair all day.

The Committee might want you to heed their cautions, but the truth is: you’re the boss of your land. You’re the CEO. You get to decide what feels good and right to you, no matter how raucous The Committee is.

What to do with The Committee

Believe it or not, The Committee of opinionated folk has a job to do: protect you. They want to make sure you’re safe.

Sometimes, the information they give you is out of date. Often, it was relevant to you when you were younger, but now you’re a big ol’ grownup with a business and a passion.

Things to try:

Here are some great ways to honor the message, without letting it destroy you.

1. Notice self-judgment

There’s no need to stuff it down. Instead of taking it on and self-loathing too, practice neutrally observing those messages.

2. Express gratitude

These voices have something important to share, so acknowledge the message and its intention. Thank this part of you for speaking up and let it know you’ll take it under advisement.

3. Do what feels right to you

There’s no reason to be a captive to your self-judgments. Be your own CEO. Ask yourself, “What would bring me more peace?” and “What would the most loving thing?” Trust what comes up and then do that thing. Even if it means changing nothing.

Care to comment?