Maybe you’ve noticed that the longer something sits untouched, the more invisible it becomes. Things disappear in plain sight!

When it comes to clearing clutter from your space, it’s this invisibility that makes it hard to start the clearing process. If you’re not aware of what’s there and you can’t see it, how can you clear it?

Here are three ideas:

• Draw a circle around it (restrict) – Take a lovely piece of ribbon or blue painter’s tape and encircle the area you want to clear. By restricting the sheer number of square inches, you’ll find you can concentrate better to clear it!
• Put it somewhere new (relocate) – By physically picking it up and moving it, you create spaciousness – and focus. Once you have that pile on your lap (or cafe table or park bench), you can clear out the unnecessary with greater ease.
• Turn that puppy over (reverse) – Amazingly simple AND effective. Take any old pile, flip it over, and start working from the bottom. The stuff you now pick up first is enough out of date that it’s way easier to clear.

When it comes down to it, what’s needed is a chance to really see what is there so you can decide what happens next. Try any of these strategies and see what you think!

Do you have other ideas for seeing your stuff with new eyes — and getting it cleared?

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It’s happened to all of us. We’re in the process of clearing off a space and we come across something we really want to let go of, but can’t. We freeze — stopped in our tracks by obligation or grief or fear. All clearing efforts come to a screeching halt.

Has this happened to you before?

What do you do?

Things that work for me

When it happens to me, I like to pause for a moment and see if there are any emotions that need some space. This is especially effective for things that I have sentimental attachment to. Old purses. Sweet cards from loved ones. I pause and feel the feelings.

If it’s a more practical item, I like to ask myself, “What do you need?” and really listen to the soft reply that often comes. I also ask myself, “Do you need this? Do you love this? Does it support you and your spirit?” These questions really help me get to the bottom and release the frozenness.

These usually help clarify the next step.

Things that don’t work so well

Well, there’s always good old denial. “Oops!  A whole drawerful of miscellaneous power cords?! Let’s pretend I didn’t see that! Moving right along…” When something it too complex or I’m already overwhelmed, this is quite effective – in the short run. In the long run? Stuff doesn’t get released and it builds up.

Saving it for later is my other strategy. I do this especially with binders full of information from classes or workshops I’ve attended and paid good money for. “Someday” I’ll go through them all and make even better use of the material in them. Never happens.

What works for you?

When you’re clearing and you find something you want to release, but can’t, what do YOU do?

Please share your thoughts below…

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What your most neglected room can tell you

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Just about everyone has one part of the house where the unwanted curiosities go. Sometimes it’s a drawer or an unused room, sometimes it’s in the attic or basement. When I have an item I’m not sure I need anymore, it goes in the mudroom for the next trip to the garage.

Here’s a list of some of our most recent unwanted oddities:

• a large box from a computer part
• a stack of unloved books
• a huge laundry soap bucket
• several bags of sticky, empty soda cans
• our old mattress

I didn’t think about what I wanted to do with all these things when they went to the garage. I just know I don’t want them in the house — so out they went!

The outcome of deferring

Putting stuff in the garage (or other room) without thinking defers making the final decision. Deferred decisions have a very “ugh” feeling to them. No matter what room you put things in you can tell by how it feels.

Sometimes I go out in the garage and I just can’t bear to look around. It’s too overwhelming. If you can relate to this feeling, it’s normal. Your brain can only handle one thing a a time (no matter how well you multitask), and when there are innumerable things in your garage, it stops your brain in its tracks. Instant overwhelm.

Every time we defer deciding what to do with an object, we add to our feelings of overwhelm.

Wrestling with “more is more”

It’s normal to be overwhelmed, in part because of the world in which you live.

I used to live in a house built in the 1920s. I loved the Craftsman style and architecture – what I hated was the lack of storage. When we finished the basement, the first priority was adding closet space. Looking back, it makes me wonder what’s changed so much about lifestyles in 100 years that would warrant such a drastic need for storage. Many older houses just had a nail to hang a Sunday dress on! Are human beings so different today?

Humans haven’t changed in a century, but our culture’s priorities have. Most Westerners are caught up in the pursuit of the newest, the biggest, the latest trends – even though very little of it adds lasting satisfaction or peace to our lives. I think that marketing messages escalate our fears of being caught unprepared and being the odd-person-out. We collect stuff to feel safe.

The more we stuff we accumulate, the more time we spend managing it all. This effectively reduces the time we have for the relationships we crave.

Alternatives (they do exist!)

A variety of communities have sprung up around voluntary simplicity and the slow movement. Wise people are waking up to the idea that more/newer/better doesn’t fulfill our heart’s needs. These communities help people reclaim their lives and loves.

As I’ve been on my own path to slowing down and choosing simplicity, I am finding more time to self-nourish, to enjoy my partner and friends, and even reclaim a hobby or two. How 20th century!

While I don’t have anything to share in discussions about TV shows or the latest gadgets (I own neither), I would really rather hear about people’s hearts anyway. I’m slowly defining myself less by what I own, and more by who I am.

But what about the stuff in my garage?

Right. About that. Whether your stuff comes from your office, kitchen, or other room, everything makes its way to the garage in the end. And there it sits, accumulating. Waiting for you to decide its fate.

The dread of this project comes from deferring so many decisions into one place – especially if you have attachment or emotions toward any of the items that languish there.

My primary suggestion is to make peace with letting it go. You will inevitably let each thing go – either now or when you die. The question is: how long you want to live with that “ugh” energy?

If you’ve had enough, roll up your sleeves and try these 3 practical steps:

1. The journey of a thousand miles:
Start with one thing in your garage. One thing only. Pick it up and look at it. Make room for any feelings that come up for you around this item.

2. Find where it goes:
Be curious about where it goes next. Once you’ve decided, commit to letting it go even if you haven’t gotten all the possible use out of it. Even if you think you could/should make money from it. Let go.

Research appropriate homes for it, but acknowledge that it’s an alien to you now, not your possession. Once you know where it goes next (recycle, donate, disposal), take it there.

3. Rinse, repeat:
Keep doing these two steps until only the essential remain. It sounds so easy, most people ignore this advice as simplistic. It’s challenging, but very effective. Just start.

4 comments

During a recent class, we discussed how important it is to celebrate your accomplishments (big and small) before moving onto the next task. Celebration creates energy. A fun discussion about energy, fuel, cars and organizing ensued. I invited two of the participants, both named Sarah, to write about their perspective on the topic. Enjoy!

Part 1:

Sarah Tieck, guest blogger

My Toyota Corolla’s fuel gauge says there is a quarter tank of gas left. Noticing that, I added a stop at the gas station to my list of errands. Simple as that. There was no agonizing about if I should stop for gas or where. No cursing that I have to monitor my car’s fuel and maintenance needs. No weeping because my tank has gotten low. There is no question. I will stop and refuel — if I don’t, in time the car won’t work.

Lately I’ve been running on fumes. No, I don’t have a magical gauge, but I knew. All I needed to do was look around. There were pizza and take-out boxes in the garbage can, dishes in the sink, four timesheets where I’d logged into work well after my official start time, and a general feeling of being stuck with no clear steps forward on several projects.

As a creative person who has been steadily working and meeting deadlines, but rarely taking time to replenish and refuel after these journeys, my tank is low low low. And, I’m having to stop more often to refuel — sort of like those times when you only fill up partially at the gas station. In order to create, to do good work, and to savor my life, I’m having to learn how to fuel up. Interesting that the theme I’ve chosen for this year is nourish.

Celebration is a form of nourishment. Many people wait for completion to do this — and even then, barely stop to acknowledge what has been completed and put away supplies and papers. Little do we realize that little celebrations — nourishment — along the way are important fuel to keeping moving with big goals … sort of like fueling your car on a long trip.

To refuel by celebrating, you don’t need to do anything huge. You simply need to find a way to pause and take some time for an experience that will strengthen and energize you. That gives you ideas and images to draw from and fuel your work. It honors what you’ve done. Those important baby steps.

So, when you feel like you could keep going … stopping to play, to workout, to connect, to savor can all be forms of nourishment that will add  fuel to your tank. Things like workouts and fun offer a big boost for a goal — they create movement, energy, and excitement. And, that transfers. That candy bar and diet soda? As temporary as a jump for a dead battery.

Last week, I nourished a writing deadline with a bike ride and some geocaching with my husband. We played in the woods and the next day, I finished the book I was writing. When I take time to fill myself up like this — even when it seems counterintuitive — the things I want (and need) to do are easier! That weekend, I spent some time relaxing on the couch, saw Letters to Juliet, had an evening out with some friends who make me smile. You know what? Even though I rested and filled up first, the dishes and vacuuming and errands got done. And, that Monday morning, I returned to work with a tank full of fuel — as well as the fuel of my vision of what I want to create — to help me move forward.

Part 2:

Sarah DeWeerdt, Guest blogger

When Sarah likened needing to stop and replenish one’s energy to filling up the gas tank of a car, my immediate impulse was to wish I were a Prius. Imagine: speeding down the road in productive, virtuous near-silence, able to travel twice as far between fill-ups as all those other jalopies.

But the truth is, if I were a Prius, I’d just wish I were a hydrogen fuel cell vehicle. And if I were a hydrogen fuel cell vehicle, I’d wish I were…some kind of zero-emissions flying car thingy that hasn’t even been invented yet.

I’m hardly ever satisfied with the distance I’ve traveled. But maybe slowing down and refueling is actually part of the excitement. I mean, if I didn’t have to stop for a fill-up, I wouldn’t have the opportunity to notice the precise latitude where gas station convenience stores stop selling Dr. Pepper and start selling Mr. Pibb. I wouldn’t get to chuckle over those crazy souvenir snow globes filled with dinosaur teeth. I’d miss seeing, while paying for my gas, that family walk into the store straight from the pages of a Flannery O’Connor short story.

For me, this need to go faster and farther without stopping, ignoring the lurid red “E” on the dashboard, doesn’t just pose a problem when I’m trying to clear clutter and organize—it’s actually the source of my clutter. That is, there are so many interesting and amazing things in the world that I’m tempted to hold on to every interesting newspaper clipping, each scrap of vintage lace, out of the conviction that I’ll do something with it someday.

But I won’t. Because the body is a vehicle that craves rest, and one that can only travel so far. That’s been one of the most surprising and unsettling lessons of Jen’s class so far: confronting my clutter is, in effect, confronting my own mortality.

That epiphany isn’t a wholly gloomy one, though. With practice, I’m starting to recognize the difference between things that are merely interesting and things that make my brain light up with neurons firing in a thousand directions. (I swear it’s a literal scalp-tingling sensation.) I’m letting go of the former category so that I’ll have more attention for the latter. So that next time I pull off the highway into that gas station, I’ll be able to chuckle at that snow globe and leave it on the shelf, and fix the precise image of that Southern gothic family in my mind, because they are going to make one hell of a poem or painting later. Just you wait and see.

Sarah Tieck has authored more than 36 nonfiction books for children and teaches writing classes at the Loft Literary Center in Minneapolis. Her articles and essays appear regularly in home and garden magazines, lifestyle magazines, and major daily newspapers such as the Star Tribune and the Chicago Tribune. Contact her at her Web site, www.sarahtieck.com.

Sarah DeWeerdt is a freelance writer and editor in Seattle, Washington. Read her science writing via sarahdeweerdt.blogspot.com and her recipes at smalltastes.blogspot.com.

Can you relate? Share your thoughts in the comments section below!

9 comments

Just a minute ago, I went looking for a document that I know is in a file. I even know where the file is. This is awesome and an accomplishment. Yay!

However, if you were hanging out in the office with me and watched me “go looking”, nothing was actually happening. I was just staring out the window. In my mind there was lots going on.

Here’s where I went:

• I need that document.
• Where is it? (thinking) Ah, it’s in that file.
• (getting a mental picture) Oh, but it’s messy in there.
• Scary! Don’t make me go!
• Where’s the chocolate?

Between the remembering of the file’s location and its contents, I felt dread. I don’t want to deal with the messiness. It’s confusing. It’s frustrating! I haven’t touched it in at least 6 months, so I don’t know what else is in there. I don’t want to get all tangled in it! That’s so stressful to me.

Wisdom of emotions

When we react emotionally to our stuff, it means that it’s running us, not the other way around. That dread and even fear can be paralyzing. It can prevent you from doing all the cool things you want to do with your finite, precious days on the planet.

When you have big resistance to your stuff, take a moment to pause and see what’s going on. Pause to see what you need.

Putting the I back in “control”

Okay, so there’s not really an “i” in the word “control”, but you get my drift. It’s time to make that stuff yours again. Re-establish your sovereignty in your space.

Some of the things you can do to accomplish a peace treaty with a scary file (or drawer or closet) include:

• Shining a light – literally and metaphorically. Take everything out and take a good look around.
• Making friends – Some of the stuff inside you may want to keep. Have a happy reunion!
• Letting go - The fact that it was fear-inducing means that some purging is in order. Remove what you don’t need or love.

I’m going back into that file right now to pull out what I need, and I’m making a date to sort through the rest. I’m ready to remove whatever’s lurking! Whew!

3 comments

The “What do YOU do?” series gives you a glimpse into my life as a messy, creative person and invites you to share your organizing insights and ideas.

Business cards

We put so much work into designing our own and so much money on printing and so much courage into sharing them, it feels terrible to just throw out someone else’s card. Don’t you agree?

Here’s what I do

When it comes to business cards, I have a politeness policy: I accept them if offered (and take them if I want them), but with the inner understanding that I’ll toss/recycle them if I don’t plan to use the information.

It hasn’t always been this way, but I’ve reached a level of trust that when I need something, the right thing will come along. If I need a painter, I’ll ask around and find the perfect person. It takes too much energy for me to hang on to business cards just because I might need them someday. I’m not willing to devote time to organizing every single one anymore.

The business cards I do keep? They go into an alphabetized folder with these handy plastic sheets that look like this (link provided for reference).

I don’t use it often, but it’s helpful to have – and all those cute little cards stay contained.

It’s worth mentioning that I don’t alphabetize by last name. I file by what I’ll remember. If I look at the card and the first thing that comes to mind is “recycling”, I file it under “R”. If I know that I only remember the person’s first name, I highlight it and put it under the corresponding letter. It’s only a system that works for me, but that’s the point. It works. : )

How about you?

Your turn! If you’d like, please share what you’re doing that helps you keep track of business cards. Your ideas help everyone!

Your comments on your own process are welcome. Just remember to give advice to me or others only when it’s specifically requested. This makes exploring safe and learning possible for every reader.

3 comments

Ever been here?

“It has to be perfect! What will they think of me if it isn’t?”
“It’s so far from perfect, I just can bring myself to even work on it.”
“Why bother? It/I will never be perfect.”

You may want to be reasonable and compassionate with yourself, but you still crave perfection sooo badly. The pursuit of it can depress and exhaust you.

So what’s really going on?

The root of the word “perfect” (Merriam-Webster Dictionary) comes from two words: “per” (thoroughly) and “facere” (to make). To do something thoroughly. In other words, to complete.

Completion sounds more reasonable than some of the ultra-sparkly “perfect” things we see in ads and on TV. To make something thoroughly brings it into the realm of human ability. It’s do-able.

The problem we encounter with completion, is that life doesn’t have thorough endings. We empty the recycle bin, it fills back up again. You clean off your bookshelves, and a few months later there are more books on it. You finish an article, but you use the material again in the future.

Many of my clients are eager to have a photo-ready home office, but using the space means that even when it looks perfect, this is just a temporary state. Nothing is ever done. But knowing this means that there’s a better way to find completion and perfection that is in union with this principle of flow.

Aren’t we the judge of what’s perfect?

In some ways, you are the judge of what is perfect. On twitter yesterday, I searched for “perfection” and found people saying they’d found perfection in specific categories: weather, a CD mix, a Broadway soundtrack, a margarita, and an actor. Each of these assessments is personal. We have an internal sense of what is perfect to us, based on our own standards.

Perfection also exists in the form of the Divine, independent of our judgments. There is an essence of the Divine which is Perfection Itself which no person can ever achieve. In the same way that the Divine love is perfect love, we love imperfectly. Your essence is perfect, but as your strive for divine perfection in your actions, they will always be expressed imperfectly.

All of this heady stuff is here to make a single point. I promise I’m getting there.

What is your need?

Look within and think about something you wish could be perfect, even for just a few hours.

For many people, seeking perfection comes from a desire for approval, to be accepted, to belong. This is a deep human need, and we think perfection will help us get this need met. Some people seek perfection in fear that something bad will happen. Failure to meet high standards turns some wonderful people into controlling, stressed-out souls.

If you’re trying to create a life that’s harmonious and perfect, I invite you to reflect on what your primary motivation is to get there.

Are you making perfection a condition of happiness?

Perfection itself isn’t the problem, it’s the pursuit of perfection that troubles us. We fall into the trap of thinking, “When my desk is clean…” “When the bills are paid…” “When I get some time to myself, ahhh… then I will be happy.”

You’ve probably heard the “if-then” concept from others wiser than I. With regard to this topic, it’s worth repeating: contentment has no conditions. Besides the few basic biological ones, there are no conditions. No finish line requires you to cross it before you can be happy, satisfied, and content.

The challenge, and the opportunity, lies in accepting where you are right now on your journey toward perfection. Accepting that wherever you are, it’s just the right place to be. There’s nothing you need to do except take a moment to notice, and even appreciate, where you are on your path.

In fact, you may find that the less you push for perfection in your life, business, and workspace, the closer it becomes. If you can let go of your attachment to a specific outcome, and become open to the lessons the divine provides, your path will be less stressful and more joyful.

“I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God’s business”
~ Michael J. Fox

“Perfection is no more attainable for us than is infinity. One ought not to seek it anywhere: not in love, nor beauty, nor happiness, nor virtue; but one should love it, in order to be virtuous, beautiful and happy, insofar as that is possible for man.”
~ Alfred de Musset

Thoughts? Yeah, buts? Me toos?

7 comments

As I write this, there are more unanswered emails in my “inbox” than I care to admit.

This has been a week in which my best intentions were thwarted, and I received feedback from a couple of trustworthy sources that I wasn’t “on my game.” Email was part of it, but I also gave out the wrong time for a class, failed to prepare properly for a meeting, and spent too much time working on stuff that wasn’t all that important.

Stressful? You bet.

My high standards are where the problem started. When I made my first flub of the week, the little Gremlin of Self-Judgment perched on my shoulder and whispered some not-very-nice things about me.

When I made my second flub, the whisper became a stern repartee.

It only got worse from there. I mean, seriously! I was counting my errors! By the end of the week, I was buried in self-judgment, exhausted, and feeling rather insecure about my competence as a business owner.

Thank God I’m normal.

If people I admire didn’t tell me they have weeks just like this, I would be really scared. But I know it’s normal.

If anything, making a few gaffes this week illustrates how far I’ve come as a cluttered creative person. I used to forget things daily. I was constantly late, making excuses and tearfully begging forgiveness. My teachers never knew how to grade me at the end of a semester because (although I participated enthusiastically in class) I’d never turned in any homework.

I have come a long way.

What trips me up

When I start forgetting things, I use it against myself. As evidence.

That nasty gremlin is out to prove that I’ll always be that disorganized girl. It says, “You think you’re so organized, we’ll just see, shall we?!”

And then I make another mistake. “See?? Ha! Ha! You ARE the same person you’ve always been! You’ll never be organized!” And then I make even more mistakes.

Ugh.

Ever been there? It totally sucks.

What I do (and maybe you might like to try too)

The other day, I had a nice talk with my wonderful, sensitive uncle and friend — who also happens to facilitate non-violent communication (NVC) groups. Uncle Tim caught me off guard when he used a term I’d never heard before, “self-empathy”. When he said it, little bells rang gleefully inside my heart.

Self-empathy!

I don’t know how the official NVC technique works, but yesterday when I “caught” myself making a mistake and entertaining that nasty gremlin, I took a deep breath — and this is what I said to myself:

“Jen, you are having a hard week. You’re feeling badly about not showing up the way you want to with people you really love. You’re feeling really embarrassed for missing connections and for giving incorrect information. It’s okay to feel sad and embarrassed and disappointed.

“You’re human. It’s okay to make mistakes and not to be perfect. You are doing the best you can right now. I want to remind you that your heart is in the right place. Forgive yourself for making these ‘errors’. Don’t let your past determine your future, okay? You can start fresh, right now. You are a good human being and I love you.”

I wiped away a few tears, took a deep breath… and sat for a while with a nice cup of tea. It was such a different way of talking with myself, and I could feel peace settling into my heart, where doubt and anxiety had been.

Compassion is a powerful tool for creating order

What I am slowly discovering is that the more compassionate I am with myself, the more productive I am. It sounds anti-intuitive, but judgment makes my spirit shrivel up and escalates stress. When I am compassionate with myself, I feel free. I have choices and see opportunities to adjust my actions creatively.

Of course, this is about organizing, but it’s also more than that. The truth is, no amount of order creates happiness. Only you can create happiness. So, while you’re on the path to becoming more organized and less cluttered, why not offer yourself the compassion and self-empathy you crave — and so rightly deserve?

Thoughts? Yeah, buts? Me toos?

10 comments

Dr. Abby Heppner

What she does: Abby Heppner is a chiropractic doctor in Salem, Oregon who owns her own practice and works with families to prevent and treat pain.

What she loves best about her office: If we’d asked a month ago, she would have said, “Nothing.” Since she’s read Fun In Functional, she found a way to make the things she looks at positive and beautiful even in a tiny, shared office. Wow!

Abby’s organizing genius idea:

Abby went from having what she called the “Post-it(R) Note Crazy Wall,” to containing all those notes into 3 elegant, labeled manila files:

• Things to do this week
• Things to do next week
• Long-term projects

The best parts of this system for Abby:

• A place to put all those tiny sticky notes.
• The folders fit in her laptop bag and are easy to transport.
• Notes are reduced into small, digestible chunks of information.
• She knows when the actions need to be done.
• She can see when she’s finished with the week’s tasks.

Impact on her business:

• Feeling less overwhelmed and more in control.
• Neater piles and less stuff.
• Things seem more manageable because she’s taking on only what she can do.
• More present with her patients.

Listen to the recording (12 minutes)

Genius quote:

“It’s so much nicer to have a clean little space than a messy little space.”
- Dr. Abby Heppner

Care to comment?

…and what to do about it

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Abundance is here.

Do you have more stuff than you want — more paper, more books, more email, more commitments, more bills? If you’re trying to manifest abundance, stop! It’s already here! Most people I know have more to do in one week than a person could truly appreciate in a month or more.

This isn’t what we imagine abundance should look like. Personally, I imagined lying on a lounge chair on a warm beach, sipping something with a tiny umbrella in it. Ahhh.

But the abundance I have (and maybe you do too) is not the least bit relaxing. I never imagined that “abundance” would masquerade through my life as a cluttered stress-ball, but there it is.

Give me simplicity.

For many, the road from to simplicity is rocky. We like having things. We like being wanted. “I’m busy” makes us feel important. It can be hard to let go of the short-term payoffs, but this much intensity can create overwhelm in the long run.

Ask anyone whose desk is so full of paper and treasures that they can’t complete their taxes on time and are scrambling for an extension. Ask anyone who, literally, can’t find time to pee. It isn’t the kind of abundance they wanted, either, and it can suck the joy out of life.

The #1 sneaky lie that attracts overwhelm:

“I can fit it in.”

If you hear yourself say these words, freeze. This is your ego speaking.

The ego is a very specific kind of master: a task master. The ego doesn’t want simplicity, it craves complexity and drama. It wants you to be overextended.

If you want more simplicity in your life, you can beat the ego at its own game so you can act upon your deeper desires.

To do this, first it’s important to know how letting the ego rule your life and your calendar affects you.

Consequence 1: Antagonizing loved ones and strangers.

The more we attempt to fit in, the greater the chances the fight-or-flight response getting triggered.

Stress from over-commitment brings out the worst in people. Instead of being present, we’re testy. Instead of accepting, irritable. Instead of forgiving, we guilt-trip. Sometimes we hold those feelings in, which hurts our own hearts as well.

Consequence 2: Missed opportunities for connection

One night last week, Inspired Spouse came into my office to talk while I was finishing up “one last thing” that I “needed” to do. Truthfully, I heard only every 4th word and listened just enough to appease. Later, I realized that I’d missed a precious opportunity to meaningfullyconnect with my Most Important Person.

When we hurry, we miss opportunities to connect.

Consequence 3: Engaging in risky behaviors

While we’re over-committed and feeling rushed, we hurry to catch up. Traffic laws become negotiable. We tailgate. We cut people off in traffic. We speed. Suddenly our urgency is at the expense of others’ needs, including our own safety.

Consequence 4: Satisfaction denied

Cramming more to-dos into your day deprives you of the satisfaction of completing a job or task thoroughly. Many people don’t stop long enough to enjoy the feeling of completion, before rushing headlong into whatever is next. Life becomes an endless, depressing mound of stuff to do before we die.

Consequence 5: Craving more. Andmoreandmore.

It’s been proven that the faster a person eats, the greater the likelihood of overeating. The same could be said for internet usage, TV watching, gambling, reading, et cetera. When we rush to cram it all in, we immediately start to crave more because we never really have it in the first place. We’re not present enough.

Geneen Roth wisely said, “You can’t have enough of what you don’t really want.” She was speaking of food specifically — that no amount of Oreos can equal a relaxing soak in the tub. This applies to lots of other things, too. No amount of money can feel like love. Even 100 completed “to-dos” doesn’t feel like a talk with a good friend.

So what?

None of these observations is intended to convey that doing stuff is bad. On the contrary. Doing stuff is good, so long as it’s not done at the expense of your spirit and others who share the planet with you. I know that’s a tall order. I’m working on it myself.

Alternatives to “fitting it all in”.

Instead of cramming more into your day or onto your desk, here are a few suggestions to prevent “fitting more in”.

Know your limits

Reflect on how many hours of work will sustain you without creating burnout. Do you know how many social engagements can you handle each month and still enjoy yourself? Think about how many activities you really want to drive your kids to every week. When you have some limits established, it can be easier to maintain a healthy schedule and work load.

Build in buffer time.

Instead of scheduling your plans and tasks back-to-back, plan for things to take longer. My weekly appointment is a 20-minute drive, but traffic is always sketchy. When I started giving myself 30 minutes for the drive, I stopped driving like a speed demon and arrived calmer. Where might you need some buffer time?

Practice pausing.

Whether someone is asking for your time, or you’ve got something to add to your plate, catch yourself in the moment (when you can) and ask:

• Do I have to fit this in?
• Do I want to?
• Do I need (life or death) to do this?

You may choose the same way as before, but bringing consciousness to your choices makes you feel more empowered and less a victim of your “to-dos”.

Practice saying “no” kindly.

Most people think that if they’re asked, they should say yes. If you know that your week is at capacity, saying yes can push us over the edge. Saying “no” doesn’t have to be negative. When someone asks you to get together, focus on the intention behind the ask. Don’t assume that you are the only one who can handle it. Negotiate. (hint: I’m planning a fun event on this topic soon!)

Stop to celebrate and acknowledge your efforts.

Instead of rushing to the next thing, it can be profoundly satisfying to stop long enough to appreciate your efforts and recognize your accomplishments. Sometimes I ask others to do the same for me when I have a hard time believing it myself.

In the end

The contented life isn’t about having more, it’s having less and appreciating how abundant that really is.

May your week be less packed and your life more full.

Warmly,
Jennifer

Thoughts? Yeah, buts? Me toos?

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