In person! Fun!

Since Inspired Home Office classes are offered by phone, I don’t do a lot of teaching in person… but I love it. Last night, I got to speak to a full house of local artists about creating an inspiring studio space at The Art Department (a really sweet local business in Salem). What a blast!

There were moments of seriousness and laughter as we talked about the challenges of letting go of treasures. We dreamed about the environments that would make our hearts and creativity sing. I hope those who attended had as much fun as I did!

Masquerading projects

The distinction between a task and a project was a revelation for me years ago. When I added a project to my to-do list, I felt really frustrated that even though I had worked on if for a good while, but couldn’t get a “check mark” because it wasn’t done. Taxes are a good example. Write “do your taxes” on your to-do list and just wait — it’ll be on there forever.

Last night I shared that a task takes about 15-20 minutes to complete. If it takes any longer than that, it’s really a project. Projects are a collection of tasks.

The reason why it’s so hard to have a project on your to-do list is that it’s too big. What it really needs is to be broken up into smaller tasks before you begin. Even if you just write down the next 3-5 tasks (under 20 minutes), you now have action steps you can follow. Your brain can wrap itself around the idea of a few tasks, but it boggles at whole projects.

Removing the mask — practical ideas for your projects

One of the women who attended my talk last night followed up with a question by email:

I usually think something is just a task and will only take a short time and lo and behold it is really a project!  Like cleaning my quilting space…I thought oh I can get this done in a day and 8 days later it was done!  What is your method for figuring this out…any ideas are appreciated. 

I’m a big fan of writing things down — it’s visual, it’s kinesthetic, and (if you talk to yourself) it’s also auditory. Your brain revels in having all of these sources of input seeing, touching, and hearing your ideas.

So I suggest grabbing a p0en you like and blank sheet of paper. Write the name of the project (or suspected project) at the top and underline it. Then, underneath, do a 3-minute brainstorm listing all of the steps you’d take to accomplish the project. This is the exact same process that we use in the Office Spa Day class.

Cleaning My Quilting Space

Find the scissors and tape measure
Go through the box of fat quarters
Put cutting mat back
Put quilting frame away
Research containers for projects in process
Pick up dropped pins

With this hypothetical brainstorm list, you’d review it looking for things that would take more or less than 20 minutes.

To aid yourself visually, you could put a T next to tasks (less than 20 minutes) and a P next to projects (more than 20 minutes). “Researching containers” would likely take longer than 20 minutes. “Going through the box of fat quarters” might also (what fun!). When you notice which of these items are actually projects, you can either ignore them for now and just work on the tasks for the main project (clearing the quilting space) or make a new sheet of paper and list the tasks for the projects you discover on your list.

How to make it inspiring

Doing this process helps you prevent being surprised by lurking projects. My favorite part is that as I work through the list of tasks, I get credit for all the small things, not just the finished product. This encourages me along the way. I also delight in adding unexpected small steps to the list as I do them, which just gives more evidence of my progress!

The more you do this process (or any variation on it), the better you get at recognizing projects. You get better at guessing how long a task will take to complete. Within a couple of months, you become the Master/Mistress of Projects and they no longer surprise you. It’s pretty awesome to feel some control over the things you take on!

Have you encountered a recent task that turned out to be a project in disguise? I’m curious! Please feel free to share about it below.

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 Introducing the amazing, versatile stair step folder holder thingy! Isn’t she a thing of beauty?

Each of us has something like a stacker on our desks which holds work-in-progress folders, as well as the “to be read when I have a minutes and/or want to impress somebody who happens by” folder, and, of course, the “I have no idea what to do with this, but if I wait long enough I might have an epiphany” files. Sadly, these little organizers do little to actually organize us. Generally, they effectively hide the folder labels because they are all on the same level and cannot be easily seen.

 Ahhh, but here we have the perfect office accessory. This is the little black dress in the world of home office-ers. Not only is it inclined upward from front to back, making it possible to actually SEE what you have stored there, but it’s also made of 30% recycled materials! The best ones have high dividers that prevent papers from flopping over.

The only down-side I can find to owning your own amazing, versatile stair-step folder holder thingy is that you might find some nasty surprises when you clean out your old stacker.

“Huh. I thought I’d sent that form to the Internal Revenue Service MONTHS ago.”

Don’t like black? Try these on for size!

 I use this exact one in my own office.

Do you use a graduated file holder? If so, what do you put in it?

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Got clutter that’s not yours?

If you live or work with someone who’s disorganized, you’re miserable around her sometimes. You also realize that she’s pretty miserable too. Clutter is frustrating for everyone.

People ask me this a lot: How do I get her to change?

My answer: You can’t.

She probably needs help. And you might think that you’re helping by offering suggestions. Maybe you pick it up for her. Or sneakily throw stuff away when she’s not looking. Or nag. Or issue ultimatums. Or even beg.

To be honest, we all do these things in an attempt to get an uncomfortable situation to change. They’re all strategies that supposedly make different choices. You can absolutely try all of these things, but they just don’t work.

The nature of change

The truth is, you can’t change someone. You can coerce, cajole, and nag, but you can’t really force change onto someone. Change is an inside job — and even that hardly works! Think about the last time you resolved to change a habit. Every time I do, it’s a lesson in humility.

Change is hard. And slow. If we can hardly get ourselves to change, it’s even less successful when it’s another person.

Why attempts to change others don’t work

Attempting to change someone else almost always backfires. People have an automatic, ingrained response to someone attempting to change them. I’ll bet you can guess what that automatic response is.

When you try to get someone to clean up her clutter (read: change), she resists. She pushes back. Or she avoids the issue and hides it. In other words, nothing gets resolved. What’s worse, you damage the trust in your relationship.

Don’t suck it up

Living or working with someone who is cluttered isn’t a cake walk. It’s hard, disruptive, and stressful. It’s hard for you personally, and it’s hard to see someone you care about struggle.

You probably have some good intentions at heart by wanting to help make it better. You may also be sending the unintended message that she’s wrong or bad for doing things the way she does.

It’s important to take care of yourself. If you have a space where you can close the door, this is a good thing. You get a reprieve. This isn’t the final solution, however.

Some unexpected, practical suggestions

The one thing you can do that will help is offer acceptance. Nothing creates an environment more ripe for change than this. In fact, acceptance is a core value of Inspired Home Office. When a person feels deeply accepted as they are, that is the moment when lasting change becomes possible.

Your role, as someone who loves and lives with a cluttered person, is to communicate to her that she is accepted as they are — imperfect and beautiful. By changing how you interact with her, it becomes safe for her to start making her own changes.

It sounds crazy, but in my years of working on this issue, acceptance is the tool I use again and again. It works.

Acceptance in action

If you want to try acceptance, the following suggestions are ideas for practicing it:

• Find a part of her that you love and accept without question. Like her good heart. Or her laugh. Think of some of the qualities she has that you admire. Share this with her without ‘buts.’

• Use humor. I have an annoying habit (according to Inspired Spouse) of removing plastic bread tags and leaving them on the kitchen counter. (Oh, if that were my only annoying habit!). One day, I was fishing through my purse and found three of those bread tags at the bottom. I laughed out loud — and I got the point! If you’re using humor, check your intention. Be sure it’s clean and not intended to jab or criticize. Used well, humor can diffuse stress and encourage creative solutions.

• Share how specific kinds of clutter impact you — without blame. Share your truth without expecting anything to change. It’s especially helpful if you share your feelings. For example, you could say, “When I see your desk, I feel helpless, frustrated, and overwhelmed.”

• Refrain from judgment. It’s tempting to think that you could do thing better than she can. Unfortunately, putting yourself in the role of judge can be a set-up for the judged. Instead, keep an open mind that there are more solutions available than you know of. Be open to the idea that this person might need very different organizing systems from you. Be curious about her.

• Ask what she needs — and listen. Although you may think you already know what she needs and how to fix things, listening non-judgmentally is profoundly healing. Listening can heal some of the conflict between you (if there has been any) and dissolve the judgement. It builds trust and it helps her feel supported.

• Ask how you can support her. Instead of being an adversary, let her know that you’d be willing to help if she asked (if this is really  true for you). Cluttered people often feel very lonely and helpless (even though they are quite capable). Offering assistance can help her find the courage to begin to address her disorganization.

• Find an outlet for your frustration. If the clutter is really getting to you and change isn’t happening, talk to someone about it. You need empathy and listening too. Bottled up hostility don’t help improve a situation.

Of course, if you do any of these things with the express intention of changing the person, it will backfire. By refraining from judgement and becoming an ally to the cluttered person, you’re creating a safe environment where change can become possible where it wasn’t before.

I wish you blessings on this journey. Feel free to comment below!

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I have the right to express myself
to live my life as I see fit
to say no and mean it
to say yes with my whole being to what I love

I have the right to my own creative space
to draw a real or imaginary line around my domain and claim it for myself
to a door that closes
to absolute silence when I need it

I have the right to spread out
to interact with my ideas
to see them
to touch them
and doodle in the margins
until the ideas seep into my bones and become mine

I have a right to a sacred space
that is free from intrusions
that is free from guilt
that completely supports my spirit
that is truly sacred space
powerful as an ancient circle of standing stones

I have a right to fully inhabit my body and treat it with loving care
to a good night’s sleep, to clean teeth, warm hugs, and supportive ears

I have a right to a healthy relationship with myself
to choose gentleness
to change
to grow more deeply into my magnificent self
to learn to be my own best friend

I have a right to a space that allows me to become who I am
that helps me visualize my dreams so I can make them happen
that celebrates my gifts and all my senses
Because when I can hear my own deepest knowing, self-criticism dissolves
and in finding my own voice, I am better able to hear yours

I have a right to contribute something valuable to the world
I was born with gifts, talent and abilities that the world needs
While the world hungers for compassion, for wisdom, for beauty, for healing
my space gives me the grounding I need to courageously offer my service

I have a right to be here, in this world, at this time in history
Despite the risks of living, I know I am safe
I am loved
I belong
This life I’ve been given is a gift
and each day, I find gratitude
and new courage to live it

Comments? You’re invited to share thoughts or feelings that reading this brings up for you.

No comment to share? Feel free to add a little stone  -o-  to let me know you’re here and took the time to read (this delightful idea courtesy of Darcy).

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Boundaries, continued

Did you ever have one of those “Okay, fiiiine. I’ll do it” moments? Someone wants something from you. You know that whatever is being asked is too much, but you say yes anyway?

Yup. Me too.

“Okay, fiiiine” is a way of permitting something into your life, into your calendar, into your mind. In the moment, it usually feels like you don’t have a choice. Your daughter didn’t work out a ride to dance class. Your spouse forgot to switch the laundry from the washer to the dryer. Your client needs to meet with you at a time of day when you’re kinda groggy and not on your game. You don’t want to, but you do it anyway.

Psst! It’s sacred.

Most people slip through this moment without realizing what’s just happened. Believe it or not, it’s sacred. “Okay, Fine” is an opportunity to honor your boundaries in relationship to time and to commitments. It’s a sacred moment when you’re given the chance to act toward your highest good.

The goal isn’t to say no to everyone, the goal is to recognize that you have a choice in that moment. To wake up to the possibility that the world doesn’t need to rest on your shoulders alone. If you can recognize this opportunity to choose, you can begin to develop your No muscle, your Work it out yourself and get back to me muscle, and your I accept this request and will gladly do it muscle. Powerful stuff!

Over time, requests for your attention, time and talent can fall into elegant categories. No, thank you becomes a viable answer. Resentment falls away. It’s as if you develop your own inner stoplight, complete with green arrows, blinking yellows, and solid red. You develop your own boundaries. People trust you more. You trust yourself more too.

Playing with “Okay, Fine” in your workspace

When you have too many Okay, Fines on your to-do list, your life can feel pretty crazy. When you have lots of Okay, Fines on your desk, it can look pretty crazy. I’m sure this isn’t news.

It can be really helpful to look at the sources. Sometimes things end up on your desk because you have a boundary you’re unconscious of or haven’t enforced. For example, there’s cat litter on your keyboard again — and you suddenly realize this bothers you. Or someone interrupts you while you’re working — and although you love them, you dislike their timing. Or you’ve gotten another one of those catalogs for the nth time — and realize you don’t want to keep shoving them around.

And remember that you have a choice.

Because you do. And it’s a sacred, precious thing.

The sneaky stuff that skips “Okay, Fine” entirely.

Lots and lots of stuff sneaks into our spaces before we even get to Okay, Fine it. It slips under the radar without our say-so.

Email, for example. Messages and invitations on Facebook. Free bonuses. Jury summons.

It’s sneaky stuff. For all intents and purposes, it looks like stuff you have to do. It piles up or comes unbidden and the assumption is that you have to do it all. Use it all. But you don’t, because you have a choice.

It might seem selfish to consider your needs first, but it’s not. In fact, by doing this, you’re modeling for others how to care for themselves and empowering them. It’s a double sacred gift: you grow more grounded and so do the people around you.

Turning off the hose

When you’re not sure how to choose or your boundaries are unconscious, it’s like a garden hose with no nozzle for regulating the flow. That sneaky stuff leaks (or sprays!) into your space without your consent.

Let’s say that you wanted to practice exercising this choice. One of the best tools in the Inspired Home Office lineup is the Wish Kit for helping you determine what you want in your workspace. This a powerful tool helps you practice using choosing and focusing on what you want (rather than what you don’t want). You begin to move forward quickly.

So start by thinking about what you want in your space – physically, energetically, emotionally, practically, and in terms of your boundaries. It could look like anything!

Once you have some clarity, you can set up some structures that honor your boundaries in your space. Here are a few ideas:

* Placing a beautiful cloth over monitor at the end of the day
* Having a door that closes
* Wearing noise-canceling headphones
* Asking for what you need (not be interrupted, bandwidth use)
* Proactively removing irritants – unsubscribing to newsletters, people who irritate you on Facebook or twitter, etc.
* Setting up email filters
* Setting up work hours and play hours
* Putting “buffer time” or transition time between activities
* Scheduling vacation time (even if you stay home)
* Culling out resources you no longer use that take up space
* Relocate the cat boxes to another room

These actions turn off the hose of frustration, resentment, and overwhelm. What boundaries would you like to establish in your own environment?

No matter where you start, know that establishing healthy boundaries, “letting your yes mean yes, and your no mean no” is a process. It takes time. Bring gentleness and curiosity to your process and you’ll see results in no time.

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Crossing the boundaries of your workspace

Bits of cat food on your chair. Your (insert relative)’s papers on your desk. Again. The noises from down the hall. Emails from a store you don’t frequent. What is that sticky stuff on the keyboard? Alone, they’re not a big deal. Combined, your workspace starts to feel scattered, overwhelming, and nothing like an oasis. It’s a place you want to escape from.

Many of my clients describe how unwelcome their space feels to them. When we talk one-on-one, I ask what boundaries have been established in their space and work flow. Often, people realize they’ve been adapting to the clutter, the intrusions, and the distraction. Most would prefer to avoid conflict about using the space. It’s just easier.

In the long run, having porous boundaries can affect how creative you are, how productive, how happy you feel, and how profitable your work is. Not only are boundaries useful, they’re vital.

40 days and 40 nights of practicing boundaries

I’ve been thinking about boundaries recently because the season of Lent is upon us. This year, I’m observing Lent as a 40-day spiritual exercise to help me become less attached to things that don’t nourish me. At the same time, I’m replacing those things with activities and choices that nourish my spirit.

So far, I’ve come to realize that the computer and internet access are a potent source of disconnection from spirit. It’s humbling. I use the computer for everything: the calendar, generating ideas, research, writing and er… lots and lots of fiddling. None of it is very spiritually nourishing and I noticed that I fall prey to the belief that the all-knowing Internet is God. It’s not. It’s a teensy speck of the Divine.

Lent requires boundaries — creative ones.

Based on past experience, I know it’s not enough to just decide not to use the computer for frittering.

A strategy helps. My strategy is to use the computer no more than 5 hours per day for only work-related work and scheduling. To give this resolution structure, I set 3 goals at the beginning of the day to accomplish and I’m using an online stopwatch (http://www.online-stopwatch.com/) to keep track of how long I’m using the computer.

Limiting access to the computer is only one part. I spent some time thinking about how and why I use the computer for frittering. Looking up obscure 80′s videos or reading about Oregon’s state bird on Wikipedia, for example. When I looked at this pattern compassionately, I realized that what I wanted and needed was a break. My brain was tired from work. I got curious about what else I might need – fresh air, a handful of almonds, a good long stretch. Research shows that taking these kinds of breaks allow us to work more productively. Considerably better than frittering.

During Lent, I’m developing my awareness for the times when I need a break. This will equal less computer time, but in a healthy, more holistic way. Granted, it’s only Day 1 of my doing this. We’ll see how I’m doing on April 21 when Lent officially ends.

Making boundaries visible

Humans are very visual creatures. In fact, our sight is our strongest sense. One of the things you can do to make your boundaries easier to honor is by making them visible.

For yourself: If you decided to use the computer less, you might give yourself a visual cue. Turning it off completely is one idea. I like putting mine to bed at the end of the day. I shut everything down and then cover it up with lovely green fabric. It’s not impossible to remove, obviously, but it’s enough of a visual cue that I don’t turn it back on.

For others: If you want family members to put papers in a specific area, give them something colorful to aim for. If you want to create a visual dividing line between your and your sweetie’s space, I’m a big fan of blue painter’s tape. It’s visible, not permanent, and inexpensive. With a little compassionate discussion, it can be a powerful tool to honor your space.

Taking it home

If you had to choose one area in your space that needed clearer boundaries, what would it be? Good candidates are any area that feels out of control or is a source of overwhelm. What would minimize or slow the flow? If you didn’t have that to contend with, what would you rather do in its place?

Boundaries continued

Later this month, I’ll be writing about how to know what your space boundaries are and ways to consciously honor them. You’ll get tools to bring some structure to the ideas you generated in the previous section. I’ll also keep you posted about my Lenten journey. Stay tuned!

Warmly,
Jennifer

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New Zealand.
Egypt.
Yemen
Somalia.
Bahrain.
Iran.

Just reading off the headlines make me think of the millions of people experiencing loss, pain, uncertainty and fear right now.

If you’re like me, you probably vacillate between feeling deep concern and helpless distraction. I lean toward worry in the face of confusion, and I’ve noticed that my thoughts about all these events have been cluttered. My feelings have been messy.

If your worries are more domestic — focused on home, work, or loved ones– you may find that you experience the same kinds of feelings and lack of focus. Distraction.

Any time you add clutter and disorganization to the mix, thoughts and feelings are less focused. Sometimes it feels like a constant buzzing in your head and heart.

Focusing that buzzy energy

Allowing overwhelm to persist prevents you from bring the gifts you have to those who need them. No matter what’s troubling you, let me gently encourage you to focus on what you can do.

Think about the smallest do-able thing:

• Clear off a space on your desk
• Journal about your feelings
• Share your thoughts with someone with a compassionate ear
• Offer support to someone affected by local or world events.
• Consciously limit how informed you are (what Maxwell Gillingham-Ryan calls a media diet)
• Write a check to support organizations who provide aid.

The other super-helpful declutterer of thoughts and feelings

Hand it over. Write or recite a list of all the things that concern you at the moment under the title: “I am releasing to the Universe…” I do this weekly and it lightens my load tremendously. There’s no way I can carry it all. Consciously releasing your attachment to big, overwhelming stuff allows life to use that energy for something better.

Time and time again, choosing to hand it over to the Universe, to God, to that Something Bigger then Me creates peace and amazing resolutions I never dreamed possible. The act of letting go — on purpose — resolves the issues I was stuck to. If you want to read more about how to do it, my much-loved article about Grape-Scented Markers is here.

Suffice it to say, you don’t have to carry it all.

And not to belabor the point, but while the very process described here works with feelings, it also works with any distracting object (or collection of objects) in your space.

• Notice overwhelm and distraction
• Remember what’s important
• Focus on what you can do
• Release the rest

Sometimes doing these steps with your physical space makes room to then work with the feelings inside.

No matter what’s on your mind and heart, know that you’re not alone. It’s okay to make space inside of you for whatever troubles you. In the end, the people you love benefit, your work benefits, and the resulting peacefulness radiates through the circles of connection to the places that need it most.

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Maybe you’ve noticed that the longer something sits untouched, the more invisible it becomes. Things disappear in plain sight!

When it comes to clearing clutter from your space, it’s this invisibility that makes it hard to start the clearing process. If you’re not aware of what’s there and you can’t see it, how can you clear it?

Here are three ideas:

• Draw a circle around it (restrict) – Take a lovely piece of ribbon or blue painter’s tape and encircle the area you want to clear. By restricting the sheer number of square inches, you’ll find you can concentrate better to clear it!
• Put it somewhere new (relocate) – By physically picking it up and moving it, you create spaciousness – and focus. Once you have that pile on your lap (or cafe table or park bench), you can clear out the unnecessary with greater ease.
• Turn that puppy over (reverse) – Amazingly simple AND effective. Take any old pile, flip it over, and start working from the bottom. The stuff you now pick up first is enough out of date that it’s way easier to clear.

When it comes down to it, what’s needed is a chance to really see what is there so you can decide what happens next. Try any of these strategies and see what you think!

Do you have other ideas for seeing your stuff with new eyes — and getting it cleared?

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It’s happened to all of us. We’re in the process of clearing off a space and we come across something we really want to let go of, but can’t. We freeze — stopped in our tracks by obligation or grief or fear. All clearing efforts come to a screeching halt.

Has this happened to you before?

What do you do?

Things that work for me

When it happens to me, I like to pause for a moment and see if there are any emotions that need some space. This is especially effective for things that I have sentimental attachment to. Old purses. Sweet cards from loved ones. I pause and feel the feelings.

If it’s a more practical item, I like to ask myself, “What do you need?” and really listen to the soft reply that often comes. I also ask myself, “Do you need this? Do you love this? Does it support you and your spirit?” These questions really help me get to the bottom and release the frozenness.

These usually help clarify the next step.

Things that don’t work so well

Well, there’s always good old denial. “Oops!  A whole drawerful of miscellaneous power cords?! Let’s pretend I didn’t see that! Moving right along…” When something it too complex or I’m already overwhelmed, this is quite effective – in the short run. In the long run? Stuff doesn’t get released and it builds up.

Saving it for later is my other strategy. I do this especially with binders full of information from classes or workshops I’ve attended and paid good money for. “Someday” I’ll go through them all and make even better use of the material in them. Never happens.

What works for you?

When you’re clearing and you find something you want to release, but can’t, what do YOU do?

Please share your thoughts below…

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What your most neglected room can tell you

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Just about everyone has one part of the house where the unwanted curiosities go. Sometimes it’s a drawer or an unused room, sometimes it’s in the attic or basement. When I have an item I’m not sure I need anymore, it goes in the mudroom for the next trip to the garage.

Here’s a list of some of our most recent unwanted oddities:

• a large box from a computer part
• a stack of unloved books
• a huge laundry soap bucket
• several bags of sticky, empty soda cans
• our old mattress

I didn’t think about what I wanted to do with all these things when they went to the garage. I just know I don’t want them in the house — so out they went!

The outcome of deferring

Putting stuff in the garage (or other room) without thinking defers making the final decision. Deferred decisions have a very “ugh” feeling to them. No matter what room you put things in you can tell by how it feels.

Sometimes I go out in the garage and I just can’t bear to look around. It’s too overwhelming. If you can relate to this feeling, it’s normal. Your brain can only handle one thing a a time (no matter how well you multitask), and when there are innumerable things in your garage, it stops your brain in its tracks. Instant overwhelm.

Every time we defer deciding what to do with an object, we add to our feelings of overwhelm.

Wrestling with “more is more”

It’s normal to be overwhelmed, in part because of the world in which you live.

I used to live in a house built in the 1920s. I loved the Craftsman style and architecture – what I hated was the lack of storage. When we finished the basement, the first priority was adding closet space. Looking back, it makes me wonder what’s changed so much about lifestyles in 100 years that would warrant such a drastic need for storage. Many older houses just had a nail to hang a Sunday dress on! Are human beings so different today?

Humans haven’t changed in a century, but our culture’s priorities have. Most Westerners are caught up in the pursuit of the newest, the biggest, the latest trends – even though very little of it adds lasting satisfaction or peace to our lives. I think that marketing messages escalate our fears of being caught unprepared and being the odd-person-out. We collect stuff to feel safe.

The more we stuff we accumulate, the more time we spend managing it all. This effectively reduces the time we have for the relationships we crave.

Alternatives (they do exist!)

A variety of communities have sprung up around voluntary simplicity and the slow movement. Wise people are waking up to the idea that more/newer/better doesn’t fulfill our heart’s needs. These communities help people reclaim their lives and loves.

As I’ve been on my own path to slowing down and choosing simplicity, I am finding more time to self-nourish, to enjoy my partner and friends, and even reclaim a hobby or two. How 20th century!

While I don’t have anything to share in discussions about TV shows or the latest gadgets (I own neither), I would really rather hear about people’s hearts anyway. I’m slowly defining myself less by what I own, and more by who I am.

But what about the stuff in my garage?

Right. About that. Whether your stuff comes from your office, kitchen, or other room, everything makes its way to the garage in the end. And there it sits, accumulating. Waiting for you to decide its fate.

The dread of this project comes from deferring so many decisions into one place – especially if you have attachment or emotions toward any of the items that languish there.

My primary suggestion is to make peace with letting it go. You will inevitably let each thing go – either now or when you die. The question is: how long you want to live with that “ugh” energy?

If you’ve had enough, roll up your sleeves and try these 3 practical steps:

1. The journey of a thousand miles:
Start with one thing in your garage. One thing only. Pick it up and look at it. Make room for any feelings that come up for you around this item.

2. Find where it goes:
Be curious about where it goes next. Once you’ve decided, commit to letting it go even if you haven’t gotten all the possible use out of it. Even if you think you could/should make money from it. Let go.

Research appropriate homes for it, but acknowledge that it’s an alien to you now, not your possession. Once you know where it goes next (recycle, donate, disposal), take it there.

3. Rinse, repeat:
Keep doing these two steps until only the essential remain. It sounds so easy, most people ignore this advice as simplistic. It’s challenging, but very effective. Just start.

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