Making positive changes that stick

Before I knew I had ADD, I used to think I was broken. I thought I was defective for being so sloppy and slothful. Isn’t that horrible? It’s what I really believed.

I really thought I was broken.

I would forget an appointment, for example. When I discovered the error, all h-e-double-toothpicks would break loose inside my brain. I’d spew all kinds of insults and admonishments at myself.

After that internal tongue lashing, I’d resolve, once and for all, to change. To myself and others. To always show up reliably, no matter what. To be neat, once and for all.

If you want to make the gods laugh, tell them your plans.

You can guess what would happen next. Despite my best efforts, things would fall apart again, and the whole cycle would repeat. What a struggle.

Some of my clients, bless them, are facing years of chronic disorganization and they honestly believe that they are broken. They’ve tried to get organized and feel they’ve failed. Many times they’ve resolved, once and for all, to “get it together” but have not been able to implement organizing ideas consistently or with much success.

Until they start working with me, some of my clients don’t believe it’s even possible to be effective in business because their space is so out of control. How sad!

Rewriting the story

Chances are good that you want to contribute something positive to the world through your work. You believe that your gifts are valuable – and that healing and harmony come about when they are shared.

This is true.

And if you feel overwhelmed in your workspace or in your role as a business owner, consider this: these strong feelings and frustrations are not validation of your failure. They’re a call to pay closer attention. They’re your inner guidance system telling you that change is imminent.

Use discomfort to your advantage

The good news about negative feelings like embarrassment and frustration is that, eventually, they cause you to act.

That’s where the urge to “do it right once and for all” comes from. But it’s important to pause so that you can point that energy in the most effective direction.

I firmly believe that nothing is “once and for all,” there are only steps in the right direction.

For example…

My clothes live in my office closet, and it’s been a tenuous peace.

You can bet I’ve had my share of those “once and for all” conversations about the condition of the closet and the laundry hamper next to it.

Logistically, there’s no where else for the clothes to live. After many resolutions to never be messy again, I’ve deliberately begun to make small steps toward my vision of an office that supports my business completely.

My energy and attention are focused on where I want to go, not on what I’m doing “wrong.”

Action in the “right” direction

When I’d had enough of the losing battle with my clothes, I took action. I found the hamper lid – so now I’m not distracted by my laundry. I purchased hangers for my pants that are fun to use – so I’m more motivated to hang them up.

Does it work all the time? No.

But, the fundamental question is this: is it closer to my vision? Yes. Can I concentrate on my business better as a result of these adjustments? Yes. Is it more effective than chastising myself? Yes.

Will it take awareness on my part to work more effectively? Absolutely.

What’s important is that you make progress, one step at a time – in service to yourself, your business, and ultimately your clients.

Things to try

1. Take the long view

Imagine a day in your future where your office and its systems completely supported your business. What would it look like?

Create a picture in your mind that is compelling and invigorating. Go to the next step when you’ve completed this one.

2. Look at the short view (right now)

If you’ve been tolerating an intolerable space for a while, take a deep breath and look courageously around you. See at the reality of the place you work.

If your struggles have more to do with procrastination or incomplete work, stop for a moment to take stock of what is actually going on. What is really happening?

3. Draw a line between them

Hold the vision of where you want to go in your mind and beside it, the reality of where you are.

When you do this, the path to get there becomes clear. Write down what steps you want to take – and make them small, incremental steps so that you can notice and get rewarded by the changes as you go.