Find resolve for your resolutions

How to get honest to goodness results on your 2009 intentions.

Have you been asked yet?

If you haven’t already, someone’s going to ask you, “What’s your New Year’s resolution this year?”

A lot of folks roll their eyes because they know that mid-February, we’ve forgotten when we’d even resolved to do.

Why the skepticism? Because changing is hard work. Ask anyone who’s tried and you’ll get ample commiseration.

Finding resolve

The problem with a resolution is that it’s just short of a wish. It can be a positive, healthy idea (losing 10 pounds, stopping nagging, volunteering, etc.) – but often lacks inherent motivation.

Instead of creating a resolution you’ll forget later – or rejecting the whole resolution idea entirely – why not set yourself up for success?

Getting traction

A resolution, first and foremost, must be something you’d love. If it’s punishment or a “should”, it just won’t stick. And then you’ll feel like a failure when you stop. I’ll bet you know that scenario already.

A resolution has to be something so compelling and delightful that you get excited just thinking about it.

Okay, but how does THAT work?

You have places in your life that you want to fix, right? But when you try to “fix” them, (ugh!) nothing happens. You resist. You lose momentum. You forget.

Don’t “fix.” Instead, resolve to do something you’d really love. Because when you allow yourself to do the things you love, suddenly the things you “should” do start getting done all by themselves. It’s magic.

It beats the alternative

You, me, we all do ourselves harm by wrenching our spirits into submission. By declaring that you’ll complete everything you start, for example, you hurt the part of you that needs flexibility. By resolving to clear out every last scrap of paper, you harm the part of you that needs rest.

Life isn’t linear – it’s a long series of course-corrections. So creating a loving, exciting resolution allows you to dance with the process instead of breaking your spirit. Resolving to do something compelling has a different energy and intention to it.

Hiding the pill in the bologna

It might be tempting to play a little game with yourself that attempts to make a “should” more enticing. Your brain asks something like – how can I make clearing out my file cabinet something I love?

You see where I’m going with this?

I call this “hiding the pill in the bologna” (the sneaky way to give dogs their medicine). Your spirit’s going know if you’re trying to manipulate it and the plan will flop. Unless it’s some reeealy good bologna. If you’re thinking along this line, it’s a great thing to notice.

Hiding the pill in the bologna isn’t a vision, it’s just sneaky. And your heart knows it.

Why resolve at all?

There’s something magical about January 1st. We’re just coming out of the darkest days of the year. Despite the predictions for 2009, little green buds of hope are poking out bravely.

January is a clean slate with the bonus gift of wisdom from years past.

Resolutions honor the closure of one year and the opening of a new one. They’re about focusing your intentions and energy toward specific life-affirming goals. And, even though change can be a little scary, you probably like variety in your life. So, why not?

Things to try:

1. Notice if you have a “should” resolution already.

Ask if there’s something The Committee has been harping on you forever. Mental clutter like this is as important to observe as physical clutter.

Maybe you have carried “shoulds” about your workspace, your finances, your body, etc. Just make space to notice if you’ve been forcing results in your life without success.

2. Honor the “shoulds” and let them go.

Take a moment and thank yourself for trying so hard to improve these aspects of your life. Give yourself some much-needed acknowledgment and appreciation for the effort you’ve put in.

Give yourself permission to set these goals aside so that you can discover what would truly be good for you.

3. Find out what you really want.

Ask yourself: What would bring me more peace and contentment in my life and work? What do I need?

Let answers bubble up from within you and jot them down. The ideas you receive are the raw material for creating a compelling, loving, and fun intention for 2009.

By incorporating something you love as your resolution, the “shoulds” will take care of themselves. Try it and see!