Creating boundaries in your workspace – Part 2

Boundaries, continued

Did you ever have one of those “Okay, fiiiine. I’ll do it” moments? Someone wants something from you. You know that whatever is being asked is too much, but you say yes anyway?

Yup. Me too.

“Okay, fiiiine” is a way of permitting something into your life, into your calendar, into your mind. In the moment, it usually feels like you don’t have a choice. Your daughter didn’t work out a ride to dance class. Your spouse forgot to switch the laundry from the washer to the dryer. Your client needs to meet with you at a time of day when you’re kinda groggy and not on your game. You don’t want to, but you do it anyway.

Psst! It’s sacred.

Most people slip through this moment without realizing what’s just happened. Believe it or not, it’s sacred. “Okay, Fine” is an opportunity to honor your boundaries in relationship to time and to commitments. It’s a sacred moment when you’re given the chance to act toward your highest good.

The goal isn’t to say no to everyone, the goal is to recognize that you have a choice in that moment. To wake up to the possibility that the world doesn’t need to rest on your shoulders alone. If you can recognize this opportunity to choose, you can begin to develop your No muscle, your Work it out yourself and get back to me muscle, and your I accept this request and will gladly do it muscle. Powerful stuff!

Over time, requests for your attention, time and talent can fall into elegant categories. No, thank you becomes a viable answer. Resentment falls away. It’s as if you develop your own inner stoplight, complete with green arrows, blinking yellows, and solid red. You develop your own boundaries. People trust you more. You trust yourself more too.

Playing with “Okay, Fine” in your workspace

When you have too many Okay, Fines on your to-do list, your life can feel pretty crazy. When you have lots of Okay, Fines on your desk, it can look pretty crazy. I’m sure this isn’t news.

It can be really helpful to look at the sources. Sometimes things end up on your desk because you have a boundary you’re unconscious of or haven’t enforced. For example, there’s cat litter on your keyboard again — and you suddenly realize this bothers you. Or someone interrupts you while you’re working — and although you love them, you dislike their timing. Or you’ve gotten another one of those catalogs for the nth time — and realize you don’t want to keep shoving them around.

And remember that you have a choice.

Because you do. And it’s a sacred, precious thing.

The sneaky stuff that skips “Okay, Fine” entirely.

Lots and lots of stuff sneaks into our spaces before we even get to Okay, Fine it. It slips under the radar without our say-so.

Email, for example. Messages and invitations on Facebook. Free bonuses. Jury summons.

It’s sneaky stuff. For all intents and purposes, it looks like stuff you have to do. It piles up or comes unbidden and the assumption is that you have to do it all. Use it all. But you don’t, because you have a choice.

It might seem selfish to consider your needs first, but it’s not. In fact, by doing this, you’re modeling for others how to care for themselves and empowering them. It’s a double sacred gift: you grow more grounded and so do the people around you.

Turning off the hose

When you’re not sure how to choose or your boundaries are unconscious, it’s like a garden hose with no nozzle for regulating the flow. That sneaky stuff leaks (or sprays!) into your space without your consent.

Let’s say that you wanted to practice exercising this choice. One of the best tools in the Inspired Home Office lineup is the Wish Kit for helping you determine what you want in your workspace. This a powerful tool helps you practice using choosing and focusing on what you want (rather than what you don’t want). You begin to move forward quickly.

So start by thinking about what you want in your space – physically, energetically, emotionally, practically, and in terms of your boundaries. It could look like anything!

Once you have some clarity, you can set up some structures that honor your boundaries in your space. Here are a few ideas:

* Placing a beautiful cloth over monitor at the end of the day
* Having a door that closes
* Wearing noise-canceling headphones
* Asking for what you need (not be interrupted, bandwidth use)
* Proactively removing irritants – unsubscribing to newsletters, people who irritate you on Facebook or twitter, etc.
* Setting up email filters
* Setting up work hours and play hours
* Putting “buffer time” or transition time between activities
* Scheduling vacation time (even if you stay home)
* Culling out resources you no longer use that take up space
* Relocate the cat boxes to another room

These actions turn off the hose of frustration, resentment, and overwhelm. What boundaries would you like to establish in your own environment?

No matter where you start, know that establishing healthy boundaries, “letting your yes mean yes, and your no mean no” is a process. It takes time. Bring gentleness and curiosity to your process and you’ll see results in no time.