Completely stuck? Get “stompy-booted” about it.

Have you ever had “one of those days?” Or a whole week of them?

“How are you, today?”
“Oh, fine.”

Even though you don’t feel fine.

It takes a lot of energy to put on a plastic smile. I mean a lot. In fact, forcing emotions can make you feel drained of energy in the long run.

What’s really happening?

For any variety of interesting reasons, we deem true emotions unfit for public consumption. Somehow we adopted the belief that it’s not okay to be crabby. Or to feel off-balance. Or let it show.

If you keep your feelings isolated inside, you can feel very isolated.

(Bear with me and we’ll tie this into office organization in a minute. Honest.)

“Problem Identification”

In my opinion, “venting” gets a bad rap. Venting – as in: getting stuff of your chest. So instead, I started calling it “Problem Identification”. Makes it sound fancy and productive, doesn’t it?

Actually, it is productive.

If you give yourself permission to share what’s happening inside you, amazing things can happen. Just yesterday, I “Identified a Problem” that has been a source of frustration for weeks.

Okay. It was more than a “source of frustration.” I was a ball of nerves. I felt stressed, anxious, confused, ticked off, and I was taking everything (even unrelated things) 100% personally. You ever have one of those days? It sucks.

The productive part

Well. Yesterday, I got tired of stewing. I wrote a Problem Identification email to my two mastermind buddies and just let ‘er rip. What I was confused about. What I was angry about. What was frustrating me. (It’s not you, honest.)

By the time I wrote this bullet-pointed missive, I was already feeling better. I got it all off my chest. And their empathic replies started me grinning.

Lisa’s email said:

…sometimes it’s just fine to just be a big, angry, stompy-booted, annoyed person about it.

Isn’t she awesome? Then she said,

Letting yourself have that is self-care too.

Suddenly the mountain was a rightful molehill again.

How Problem Identification works

Want to get stompy-booted and unstuck, too?

1. Acknowledge that all is not right.
2. Ask someone you trust if they’re willing to listen without trying to “fix” you (important!).
3. Share the whole ugly mess of thoughts and feelings.

Problem Identification is only half the solution.

You’ve probably met people who only focus on the Identification part. They wear you down, don’t they? If you stop at Problem Identification, you just keep stewing in your own juices.

What’s needed next are Solutions.

In science, a “solution” involves mixing dense matter into less dense matter which dilutes its potency. A nerdy analogy, yes, but Problem Identification is a dense thing that you can mix into your spacious, not-dense curiosity. And the problem dissolves.

For example, once you’ve had a good vent, you can explore:

What is one small baby step I can take to move this forward?

What is one small shift that will move me from “stuck and irritated” into “clear and empowered?”

But only after you’ve had The Vent.

What the heck does this have to do with organizing?

I love it when you ask that.

Have you ever noticed that you get irritated and frustrated by your work space from time to time (or all the time?).

If you share this frustration with someone, it helps you move out of the mental snarl of negative self-talk. It helps you get clear about Exactly What Isn’t Working and how gol-blasted irritating it is.

Suddenly, there’s space in you to be curious about Solutions.  And you can move forward.

How cool is that?

You’re your own organizing expert

No one knows what you need better than you do (not even me!).

So inquire:

What’s bugging you about your office lately? Let it all out to someone you trust. Then cultivate curiosity about what you need and how you want to move forward.

Oh – and let me know how it goes!