It’s almost the end of the month (thank heavens!)

If it were up to me, I’d give everyone the month of January off. I’d wave my magic wand and clear every calendar, enforce regular nap times, and pay all bills due. Yep. A whole month of vacation. Wouldn’t that rock?

Now that the resolution hoopla is finally over, the pressure’s off! We can recover from the January hype and urgency — and settle into a healthy pace. Whew! So glad THAT’s over for another year.

Truthfully, I’ve been grappling with mild depression all month — and I think it comes from a combination of insufficient sunlight and battling off the January “shoulds”. January is an INNER month. A reflection month. A store up starches so that we can bloom like crazy in springtime month.

It’s okay to be introverted. Especially in January. I’m making peace with this and learning to plan accordingly.

Planning organically for the upcoming year

While I’ve been playing at hibernation the last few weeks, I’ve also been planning like a crazy-woman and loving it. At this point, I have nothing to show for all this planning. There are at least 4 calendars in my office — some big, some small — all of them are helping me figure out how I want to spend my work and personal time. It’s totally awesome.

If I had any advice to share for the end of January, this would be it: Allow planning to be enough in its own right. Recognize the inherent value of contemplating your future before you step out into it.

What does your spirit cry out for?

Now through the month of February, immerse yourself deeply in this question: “What do I want?” And do something radical like really listen to what comes up when you ask it. This is your spirit’s longing speaking.

Knowing what you truly want this year does more than just help you create it. It helps you recognize what is expendable. Knowing what you want helps create the desire to release anything that doesn’t serve you — whether it’s clutter, or old books, or unhealthy beliefs, or soul-sucking projects, or people who don’t give you the respect you deserve. Knowing what you want makes saying “no” possible.

Discerning what you want is a powerful, precious gift that only you can give to yourself.

So I ask you: What do you want this year? Now that the January pressure is off, what is your spirit craving?

Do share your ideas below. I love hearing from you.

xo,
Jen

I sat down to write my newsletter and could NOT get motivated, so I tried my hand at my first video ever.

Highlights:

• Why vacations rock and why we need them
• The 4 HUGE books I’m taking on my own vacation
• A short reflection activity that helps you get the most from summer break
• Me at my ADD best
• The blue rose wallpaper!

Note: The picture needs work and the sound is low (turn up the volume), but I hope you’ll enjoy it anyway.

You’re invited

Upcoming classes

• July 9 and 13: Office Spa Days 2-hours of clutter-clearing (details)
• July 12: Secrets of My Success Do you live near Salem, Oregon? If so, you’re invited to attend part of a free speakers series at Chemeketa Center for Business and Industry. I’ve been asked to present there on the 10 lessons that helped make my life and business a success. I’d love it if you were there! (details)
• July 14: Fun Summer School — Organizing Your Virtual Products Finally! A chance to organize and really use all those virtual products you’ve bought over the years. (details)
• August 11: Fun Summer School — Organizing Your Computer Files Every try to find a file on your computer and end up frustrated? Here’s your chance to get time and great ideas to solve the snarls! (details)

Upcoming programs

August:

• Psst! The super-secret beta membership program goes live in August! Details soon!

September:

• For Haven’s Sake — Declutter your creative space (3 months) Look for details next month!
• Inspired Organizing – Organize your office intuitively (4 months) More details next month!

Your turn!

What are your your favorite big, fat books? What would nourish you this summer?

Not only is today the first day of summer in the northern hemisphere and the first day of winter in the southern, it’s also National Day of Slowness.

It’s odd-sounding, I’ll admit. Slowness is associated with snails. And traffic. Slowness is my brain on an un-caffeinated morning. So, how is slowness a good thing?

A few years ago, I discovered the Slow Movement when I read In Praise of Slowness by Carl Honoré. All the parts of the Slow Movement are efforts to get humanity to slow down and savor life. There’s Slow Food (heard of that one?) — the antithesis of fast food. Slow Foodies encourage buying locally grown foods, preparing them deliciously, and then savoring them as they’re eaten. Sounds like a slice of Under the Tuscan Sun, but you don’t have to travel to Italy — you can have this experience in your own kitchen.

Other parts of the Slow Movement include Slow Cities, Slow Sex, Slow Medicine, Slow Children. Inspired Home Office is all about Slow Organizing.

Can you imagine bringing more intention and love to your life?

In this driven culture, I believe that we don’t need more. Even though that’s what every ad and publication wants you to believe. We don’t need faster internet or more apps or the latest thing. Honoré calls this the “cult of speed.”

What we really need is to slow down enough that we can be present with what we already have, and find gratitude there.

Slowing down brings our stress level to nil, allows us to connect meaningfully with ourselves and others, and deepen our sense of contentedness. Aliveness. Purpose.

Slowing down is a process.

Most people’s initial reaction to slowing down is “Where on earth would I find the time to slow down?!” The truth is, you have to reserve it. Maybe on Sunday nights, you can make a Slow Meal. Or you can attend an Office Spa Day once a month for some Slow Organizing.

Lately, I’ve been reserving 30 minutes at the beginning of my day to meditate and find gratitude for the abundance in my life. It’s changing me in positive ways I could never have anticipated. I love it. Even when it’s hard to reserve that time.

A way to begin

If you want to slow down, it helps to choose one area you and learn the terrain. To start, simply notice which area of your life seems most out of alignment. Which area of your life could bring your more joy or peace if you paid attention to it? Start there, and be curious about what you’d like to experience. See if there’s any slowness you want to invite there.

Is there an area of your life you’d like to slow down? Feel free to comment and share!

“I like to write everything out by hand before I put it on the computer.”

“He tried to use a Palm for calendar stuff, but a little datebook just works better for making appointments.”

“I should probably be using QuickBooks, but the little paper system I use does the job.”

If it picking up a piece of paper to write on it  feels like a radical act, that’s because it is. The technology industry is so in love with its shiny-newness, there’s nothing it can’t save you from: paperwork, accounting, scheduling, staying in touch, and generating ideas, to name just a few.

If there isn’t an app for that, just wait a few months and there will be. If the phone you have doesn’t do what you want it to, just wait for the next version.

I get annoyed at the advertising for many of these shiny-new solutions because they tell you an untruth. They imply that what you create isn’t good enough. As if there’s something wrong or backward about writing on paper. Lots of people think that they are the problem when a gadget or program doesn’t work intuitively for them. “I’m too old,” they say. Or “I’m just not good at computer stuff.”

It’s not you. You’re perfect. You have the most powerful tool already inside you: your brain.

This is why it’s okay to buck the upgrade trend.

Here are some great downgrading tools that brains like:

• Paper – lined and blank, loose and bound, large and small, sticky and colorful.
• Writing implements – pens and pencils, crayons and markers, chalk and brushes

Paper and writing implements are both portable and need no docking station for recharging. There’s no learning curve with downgraded solutions. “Ummm… Can you show me how to work this notepad?” : ) They’re comparatively inexpensive.

These items are also sensuous. Perhaps you’ve had the experience of being captivated by a fine stationery store, its fresh smell and luscious jewel-toned reams. Or lingered over beautifully crafted pens in a fine art gallery. There’s a whole-body sensory experience in selecting and using pen and paper.

A wonderful aspect of using these tools is that they slow you down. In our sped-up culture, slowing down just a little creates relaxation and flow. Typing is fast, but the act of writing something with your hand allows your brain to work differently. I’ve experienced huge epiphanies drawing diagrams on paper that I couldn’t have achieved using a drawing program. Slowing down focuses your energies.

Other downgrade solutions include:

• paper calendars
• calculators
• telephones with a cord
• face to face conversations

At the end of our lives, no points will be awarded for getting more done or faster than everyone else. Some day you, me, we all will die. So what do you want from this life? What brings you the greatest satisfaction? If you enjoy using a paper calendar or meeting with people in person, what harm is there?

When it comes down to it, I believe that connection matters more than anything — deep connection that cultivates trust and love.

So I invite you to ask yourself:

Which tools allow me to deeply connect with myself, with others, and with the Divine? Which are most satisfying to my spirit?

Trust and listen what you know about yourself. Be curious. You may yet discover a way to put technology in its rightful place if you use the tools you love more often.

Yes, January is almost at its mid-point. Before you freak out, take a breath and remember that what you do doesn’t matter as much as how you do it. Instead of rushing headlong into your plans, try a simpler, more inspiring approach: choose a focus word for the year. This is powerful planning tool helps you de-stress and feel inspired to move forward.

Your first step is to reflect. Try this: Imagine yourself on New Year’s Eve 2011. As you look back, what word would you like summarize the year with?  Trust what comes up for you. Your first, intuitive response is often your wisest guide.

When I clarified my words for this year, they give me a little shiver: Healing and Generosity. This shivery-ness is a sign that you’re spot-on. Unlike a resolution, the goal of a focus word isn’t to do it perfectly. Instead, I get to spend a year cultivating awareness and heart-knowledge of Healing and Generosity. I’m developing openness to how they show up — for example, I could receive healing and generosity or I could be a channel for sharing them. You can spend the whole year dancing with your focus word and how your heart understands it.

Deepen the dance with your focus word

As a creative person, you might have some practical goals in mind for the year. It can be a powerful exercise to write all of these things down. Also, be gentle with your creative self as you do so. Don’t expect yourself to do it all. Not yet. (Your future self will ignore you anyway — or worse, resent you.)  Half the fun of a journey is making enough space to discover new ideas along the way. When you can make room for curiosity and exploration, you become less of a task master and more of a life master.

When you arrive at knowing your focus word, every opportunity that arises over the next 11.5 months can be held up lovingly for comparison. Holding up each gem in the light of your vision, you can see with your heart whether it’s cloudy or brilliant. David Wilcox’s song expresses a beautiful sentiment, “If I keep my eyes open and look where I should / Somehow all of the signs are in sight / If I hold it up to the light.” Opportunities that resonate with your focus word will glow and help you discover the path forward. If things arise that aren’t consistent with your intention, they’re easier to set aside, leaving you more room for what your spirit craves.

Make it visual

In case you need it, you have complete permission to do the process in a creative, expressive way. If you want to get out the markers and glue and huge sheets of paper, why not? There’s probably some uptight, official way to plan your year, but why not create your own juicy, vibrant process?

After sitting with my focus words, I created this collage for my business:

Another example of using the focus word visually is Sarah Bush’s wall-sized planning map from last year. It’s so inspiring to me, I can’t stop talking about it.

My focus words inspire me, but when I sat down to work yesterday, I realized that I was feeling overwhelmed because I didn’t know what to do about spreading the word about my classes. Since Heal is one of my words, I realized I had an opportunity to heal my overwhelm. So I created a spreadsheet that makes sense to me to map out some of my plans.

Could it change, sure! But this is a start — and now I feel better and have a plan.

Remember, you’re not behind. You have the whole month of January to plan. A focus word can be a guiding star for your monthly planning, weekly planning, and even daily planning. When you feel stuck or stressed, ask yourself how you can create  (your word) in this moment. It’s a powerful, spirit-nourishing tool.

Have an example or an experience to share? Please feel free to comment!

If you love looking at inspiring images and hearing words that soothe the spirit, take a break from your work and allow this short video to fill up your heart.

With love,
Jennifer

It started back in September when I saw the first glittering tree in a store. Ohh noo, I thought. Here it comes.

If you’re the kind of person who has more ideas than time, the holidays are not your friend.

I’m here to tell you lovingly, compassionately, that if you felt like a zombie until March this year like I did, something’s got to give. You can’t do it all. Well, you could do it all, but the cost to your spirit, your business, and your loved ones is high. Consider making this year different.

Media soup

Our imaginations are captivated by images of the perfect turkey, a whirlwind kiss at the stroke of midnight, of towering heaps of presents gorgeously wrapped. More and more, I’m convinced that this advertising is the enemy of creative people. Although these images inspire us, they also give us a standard so high that we could work our fingers to the bone every day for 6 weeks and not enjoy a single moment of it. It’s too much.

The other thing? Imagine being yelled at for a whole month — how rested would you feel on day 30? Yet if you watch TV, read the paper, go online, or receive emails from major retailers, you are subject to this media screaming match. The sheer quantity of marketing messages increases daily until December 24th (1). Retailers want your money and they’ll entice, cajole, intimidate, and holler until you relent.

While the norm is to start shopping in December, but most of us believe we’re behind if we haven’t started by then. In the marketing industry, we’re called panic shoppers — and an amazing array of strategies are used to get us to part with out cash (2). In other words, companies use strategies that deliberately capitalize on your feelings of overwhelm and insecurity.

Whew!

In contrast with the seasons

This holiday hype is more in tune with spring/summer energy — for those lucky enough to be in the Southern hemisphere, at least there’s a bit more congruence.

In the northern hemisphere, we’re slowing down. If you pay attention to the energetic qualities of autumn and winter, you can feel the pull toward gathering, for completion, for storing up, for sloughing off, for deep, bone-loosening rest. These seasonal activities are vital for all living things, including human beings. We need rest in order to gather up energy for spring. We need to slough off so that there is room later for new arrivals. We need to store up so that we’re spared from expending excess energy.

We must exhale all the way out so that we have energy and space to fully receive what comes in. That’s what fall and winter are for.

Oddly enough, we’re the only critters on the planet that try to live contrary to the rhythms of the seasons. Holiday hype doesn’t help matters at all.

Bridging the gap

If you’re craving some sanity and calm, here are three strategies that help you feel less victimized and more grounded through the holiday season.

1. Create an intention for the holidays.

Today’s message includes a holiday gift to you from my heart. It’s a worksheet that helps you identify the essence of your holiday vision. Use it and you’ll actually enjoy your holidays with significantly less stress. You may even want to complete it with your loved ones.

Just print out the Holiday Worksheet (pdf) and fill in the following sections in this order:

1. What words describe how I would like the rest of 2010 to feel? What do I want? What don’t I want?
2. Describe how it is right now (or even how it was last year). What went well? What didn’t go well?
3. Below the green arrow, write all the things you want to do that will help you create the ideal season. Revisit this worksheet often enough to keep yourself on track towards your vision. Add steps as they occur to you.

Hold the intention of storing up energy for the new year. When you write down what you want, you gain clarity about what needs to be left behind and what choices will best support you. Want other ideas? Read on…

2. Say no. A lot.

If you want to let got of long-held family traditions, saying no can be challenging. Several years ago, I made the tough decision to not fly to Connecticut to spend the holidays with my family. It was hard because I get lonesome for them. However, our quiet, inspired celebrations at home truly nourish me in a way that an airport naked-body-scan, 8-hour flight with hundreds of stressed-out passengers, and a too-short visit ever will. It’s a trade-off. Saying no to the stress has made a positive difference in my relationship.

Saying no is an art form. It takes practice. When you say no, keep in mind that you’re really saying yes to the things that nourish you. This might sound selfish, but when your spirit is full, everyone around you benefits. Completing the worksheet above will give you an easier time declining opportunities or requests because they don’t fit.

3. Clean off your desk

Clearing off your workspace a few times between the holidays helps you wrap up unfinished business, and clearing away the related materials. Put tools in their homes so that you can find them again. This process clears the mental slate and makes space for what’s coming in 2011.

If you want support clearing your space, there is still room in both of the December Office Spa Days for enjoyable work time that gently eradicates the clutter and with it the related overwhelm.

One of the things I like to do is leave “breadcrumbs” for my future self. As I clear off my desk for holiday break, I write myself a note that includes instructions for when I get back in January. It feels great to have a reminder of where I left off and what my priorities are in January. Writing it down gets it out of your head so you can completely let go of it until the right time.

A gentle reminder

You do deserve a break and a restful end of the year. Let this message be a small whisper of sanity in the fray ahead. You can have the experiences you want this holiday season — and you’re worth the effort.

Always have been. I’ve been cutting corners since the pink-dawned day in my childhood when I realized that the world wouldn’t ever value my imagination as much as productivity. Yet in my heart, there’s still a fanciful, wacky, tulle-skirted ballerina who need to be fed. Here’s my story of why cutting corners helps.

Corner-cutting is what I call the skill I’ve developed to do just enough to get by, but not poorly enough to arouse any suspicion. Sometimes it works, sometimes it fails miserably, painfully and publically. I sometimes wonder how much better things would be if I went whole hog and did everything at 100%. Could I pull it off? If you have ADD or know someone who does, you know that painful refrain, “If you would just apply yourself…” The very idea of going at 100% all the time sounds exhausting, but that doesn’t stop lots of people who try.

What corner-cutting looks like

In my early years, corner-cutting was something I did to get through uncomfortable, boring situations. At school, I’d wow my teachers with my vocabulary and my sense of humor, hoping that they’d care less about the homework I’d forgotten to complete (which worked with varying degrees of success). At home, I’d get my bedroom clean enough to pass the Mom Test, concealing lumps of clothing and detritus in drawers and under stuffed animals. A a child, the only thing I did at 100% was play.

As an adult, I’ve learned to cut corners on everything from timely bill paying, to meal preparation, to paid presentations. The older I’ve become, the more skilled I am at doing just enough to get by. I take out the garbage at the last minute before the truck rolls through. I only vacuum when company is coming (or when it’s annoying me).  I market my business when I have something to sell, and less frequently when I don’t. Admitting to this rouses all kinds of shame in me. It’s similar to the shame my clients feel when they work up the courage to show me photos of their home offices. 

The reason we do it

With so much on our plates, something has to give. The thing I choose to give away, to release is perfection. For most of us, there’s no enjoyment in that release, just shame swaddled in guilt to be hidden away. We forget that we’re surrounded by messages that perfection (perfect floors, home, kids, fashion) is the only viable option. So, choosing to abandon of the Perfection Dream isn’t something we’re encouraged to go public with.

Living in a culture where everything is buffed to a polished patina, where is there room for human-ness? Where is there permission to just be?

Another way of looking at it

When I step off the Perfection Train, when I admit that there is more in life than I will ever do — and so little of it done perfectly – corner cutting becomes a kind of renegade act of resistance. Choosing to let myself off the proverbial hook, to cut corners, is a radical act of self-kindness. When you lower your standards to healthy levels, it’s amazing what you can do — and do well. You are free from the oppressiveness of perfection, to act from enthusiasm instead of guilt and dread.

What’s more, going public with your humanness is a statement to others they can do the same, that it’s safe to be good enough. Can you imagine a world in which every member believed they were wonderful the way they are? You might resist this idea, fearing a lack of excellence or effort. But truly, when a person is celebrated as they are, that is the moment when transformation and innovation become possible.

What does this have to do with office organizing?

I know – sometimes I get really big picture on you, but there is a connection.

If you’re ashamed of how your space looks today… or you feel guilty that you’re not keeping up your business the way you think you should, this dumps a daily dose of feelings that thwart your efforts. Deciding for yourself what your standards are can make a world of difference in your workspace, work flow, profitability, and more. Think about it. When was the last time you didn’t feel stressed out? Wouldn’t you benefit from a release of pressure?

Cut some corners and find relief

Seriously, what is so great about a perfect 90* corner? I’m of the opinion that a rounded corner is more pleasing and easier to navigate. Cut some corners off the hard edges of life — here are three suggestions that can help you move forward:

1. Acknowledge that you’re human. Consider that being a human implies certain limits of energy, mental capacity, and productivity. There is only so much you can do in a day. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just true.

2. Give yourself permission to do something well enough. The next time you encounter something hard, give some thought to whether you can make it easier on yourself. Let completion be your goal, rather than perfection. Celebrate the small steps.

3. Find out what it is that you do at 100% when no one is watching. When I was a kid, it was play. As an adult, it’s singing and teaching and (dare I admit this?)  creating art. Make time in your life to do more of that thing, even if (especially if) you do it imperfectly. The world needs your humanness and imperfection. Truly, “the woods would be very silent if the only birds who sang were the ones who sang best.” ~ Henry Van Dyke

Much love,

Jennifer

Guest blogger,  Anne Forbes

From Lists to Circles

I am a list-maker. I especially excel when it comes to To-Do lists in a variety of forms. Lately, I’ve found that my linear lists are not serving me well. They need to be re-done every week or so, they aren’t flexible, they get messy, and they get buried under the current project on my desk.

I am also a Wheel-keeper. That means that I track the seasons and cycles of my life in tune with the natural world, using circular templates that I created called the Wheels of Time and Place, and I teach others to join me in the rewards of this practice. Recently, during an Office Spa Day with Jen, I experienced breakthrough:

Get those to-dos onto a circle!

A Wheel of To-Do’s for a Year

My inspiration for this idea comes from Marian, who has been keeping circular Wheel of the Year journals with me for a number of years. One of her innovations is to use her Wheel to create and track her To-Do list through the seasons. In her own words,

“I use a Wheel of the Year to track what’s happening with the sun, moon, and planets, as well as projects I would like to accomplish throughout the year. I write down each task on a sticky note, in a specific color for different categories. I move the sticky notes around as needed to adjust the timing. I remove a sticky note when I’ve accomplished a project, so by the end of the year there are only a few left. So instead of filling up, it’s like an emptying out, which is a very satisfying feeling!”

To-Do Lists for Shorter Time Frames

My self-appointed task during the Office Spa Day was to take my current linear to-do list and transfer it to a Wheel, which I post on the wall behind my desk. I found that looking at a whole year at once was too much, so I set it up for three months, leading up to the Summer Solstice.

I divided my To-Do Wheel into four categories, sized by their relative importance to me:

1. Creative-Growing Edges, the largest category
2. Current Teaching and Outreach
3. Business (marketing, ecommerce, book-keeping, etc.)
4. Stuff, the smallest and most miscellaneous category

By the end of Office Spa time, I had all of my items off of the linear list, onto sticky notes, and onto the Wheel. It was an amazing feeling! I selected an image for the center that reminds me to abide in a feeling of equanimity.

At the end of each day, I remove the tasks that I have completed and move tasks for the next day into the center of the Wheel. This is also a time that I often divide a large task into smaller ones.

To be sure that I am looking ahead, I add longer range plans as placeholders in their appropriate category. This helps me keep them in mind while streamlining the workflow before me in the moment.

The result – more joy in my work, more focus, and a feeling of integration – just what circles are best at doing!

Wise woman Anne Forbes failed her first attempt at retirement and instead created the Wheels of Time and Place, an attractive toolkit and set of practices for connecting to the natural world every day. The toolkit holds a set of circular journals that individuals, groups, or classrooms use as nature journals, storytelling journals, spiritual journals, or a combination. You can read more about her and her work at www.partnersinplace.com.

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Abundance is here.

Do you have more stuff than you want — more paper, more books, more email, more commitments, more bills? If you’re trying to manifest abundance, stop! It’s already here! Most people I know have more to do in one week than a person could truly appreciate in a month or more.

This isn’t what we imagine abundance should look like. Personally, I imagined lying on a lounge chair on a warm beach, sipping something with a tiny umbrella in it. Ahhh.

But the abundance I have (and maybe you do too) is not the least bit relaxing. I never imagined that “abundance” would masquerade through my life as a cluttered stress-ball, but there it is.

Give me simplicity.

For many, the road from to simplicity is rocky. We like having things. We like being wanted. “I’m busy” makes us feel important. It can be hard to let go of the short-term payoffs, but this much intensity can create overwhelm in the long run.

Ask anyone whose desk is so full of paper and treasures that they can’t complete their taxes on time and are scrambling for an extension. Ask anyone who, literally, can’t find time to pee. It isn’t the kind of abundance they wanted, either, and it can suck the joy out of life.

The #1 sneaky lie that attracts overwhelm:

“I can fit it in.”

If you hear yourself say these words, freeze. This is your ego speaking.

The ego is a very specific kind of master: a task master. The ego doesn’t want simplicity, it craves complexity and drama. It wants you to be overextended.

If you want more simplicity in your life, you can beat the ego at its own game so you can act upon your deeper desires.

To do this, first it’s important to know how letting the ego rule your life and your calendar affects you.

Consequence 1: Antagonizing loved ones and strangers.

The more we attempt to fit in, the greater the chances the fight-or-flight response getting triggered.

Stress from over-commitment brings out the worst in people. Instead of being present, we’re testy. Instead of accepting, irritable. Instead of forgiving, we guilt-trip. Sometimes we hold those feelings in, which hurts our own hearts as well.

Consequence 2: Missed opportunities for connection

One night last week, Inspired Spouse came into my office to talk while I was finishing up “one last thing” that I “needed” to do. Truthfully, I heard only every 4th word and listened just enough to appease. Later, I realized that I’d missed a precious opportunity to meaningfullyconnect with my Most Important Person.

When we hurry, we miss opportunities to connect.

Consequence 3: Engaging in risky behaviors

While we’re over-committed and feeling rushed, we hurry to catch up. Traffic laws become negotiable. We tailgate. We cut people off in traffic. We speed. Suddenly our urgency is at the expense of others’ needs, including our own safety.

Consequence 4: Satisfaction denied

Cramming more to-dos into your day deprives you of the satisfaction of completing a job or task thoroughly. Many people don’t stop long enough to enjoy the feeling of completion, before rushing headlong into whatever is next. Life becomes an endless, depressing mound of stuff to do before we die.

Consequence 5: Craving more. Andmoreandmore.

It’s been proven that the faster a person eats, the greater the likelihood of overeating. The same could be said for internet usage, TV watching, gambling, reading, et cetera. When we rush to cram it all in, we immediately start to crave more because we never really have it in the first place. We’re not present enough.

Geneen Roth wisely said, “You can’t have enough of what you don’t really want.” She was speaking of food specifically — that no amount of Oreos can equal a relaxing soak in the tub. This applies to lots of other things, too. No amount of money can feel like love. Even 100 completed “to-dos” doesn’t feel like a talk with a good friend.

So what?

None of these observations is intended to convey that doing stuff is bad. On the contrary. Doing stuff is good, so long as it’s not done at the expense of your spirit and others who share the planet with you. I know that’s a tall order. I’m working on it myself.

Alternatives to “fitting it all in”.

Instead of cramming more into your day or onto your desk, here are a few suggestions to prevent “fitting more in”.

Know your limits

Reflect on how many hours of work will sustain you without creating burnout. Do you know how many social engagements can you handle each month and still enjoy yourself? Think about how many activities you really want to drive your kids to every week. When you have some limits established, it can be easier to maintain a healthy schedule and work load.

Build in buffer time.

Instead of scheduling your plans and tasks back-to-back, plan for things to take longer. My weekly appointment is a 20-minute drive, but traffic is always sketchy. When I started giving myself 30 minutes for the drive, I stopped driving like a speed demon and arrived calmer. Where might you need some buffer time?

Practice pausing.

Whether someone is asking for your time, or you’ve got something to add to your plate, catch yourself in the moment (when you can) and ask:

• Do I have to fit this in?
• Do I want to?
• Do I need (life or death) to do this?

You may choose the same way as before, but bringing consciousness to your choices makes you feel more empowered and less a victim of your “to-dos”.

Practice saying “no” kindly.

Most people think that if they’re asked, they should say yes. If you know that your week is at capacity, saying yes can push us over the edge. Saying “no” doesn’t have to be negative. When someone asks you to get together, focus on the intention behind the ask. Don’t assume that you are the only one who can handle it. Negotiate. (hint: I’m planning a fun event on this topic soon!)

Stop to celebrate and acknowledge your efforts.

Instead of rushing to the next thing, it can be profoundly satisfying to stop long enough to appreciate your efforts and recognize your accomplishments. Sometimes I ask others to do the same for me when I have a hard time believing it myself.

In the end

The contented life isn’t about having more, it’s having less and appreciating how abundant that really is.

May your week be less packed and your life more full.

Warmly,
Jennifer

Thoughts? Yeah, buts? Me toos?