So here are some gentle reminders from the heart for the last two weeks of December 2012.

You are enough.

You are okay as you are right now.

You are not behind. You are exactly where you’re supposed to be.

There is nothing else you should be doing except what you’re doing right now.

Be where you are. Inhabit the space you’re in. Know that you are safe.

Those shoulds don’t have to run you. They’re all just stories — and are therefore negotiable.

Take a breath and remember this.

You can choose.

You can choose what you say yes to and what you release.

You are powerful.

And your time on the earth is precious. So, you can choose to use your time to love yourself. And others. You can choose to do only what you love.

You are worth it. You are worth the effort.

May you resolve to be completely, wonderfully, and unapologetically yourself this season. May you unwrap and discover the gift that is you.

Much love,
Jennifer

Under stress, our brain functions less smoothly. The more I focus on how I’m forgetful, the more stress I feel. I tell myself, “I want to remember! I want to do it right! I don’t want to get caught forgetting something yet again.” Thinking these kinds of thoughts actually increase my stress — making me more likely to forget.

What you focus on gets magnified. When I focus on forgetting — guess what! — I forget details, dates, and other important things. More stress! Ack!

Over time I’ve discovered that focusing on what I do want (rather than what I don’t want) is a better way to make change happen. Specifically, I’m shifting my use of the phrase, “I forgot”.

What I’m saying now is, “I remember.” I’m saying, “I just remembered to ask you…” and “I remembered today that I need to take out the recycling (instead of I forgot last night).” Because, if you think about it, the moment that I discover I forgot something I’ve actually remembered it! Which feels great! I remembered! Yay!

By saying remember instead of forget, I feel more confident, less anxious and better about myself. I’m discovering that I’m not as forgetful as I thought. It’s an upward spiral — by shifting my language and focus is I’m remembering more.

Do you struggle with forgetting? What helps you remember better?

Distraction

Your brain is a busy, busy place. You try to concentrate on your work — doing that marketing stuff or that article or balancing your books — but you “come to” an hour later on Facebook, looking at your childhood best friend’s baby photos.

Ahh, yes. We all do it. We’d like to be perpetually productive and professional, but our creative minds don’t willingly take on that yoke. Although you are a grown adult, you have a distractable three-year-old inside your brain throwing tantrums, picking daisies, and — ooh! What’s that over there? A raven mind that’s drawn to on shiny objects. The Buddhists call it monkey-mind.

Whatever you call it, despite knowing all the things you’re supposed to do in business, something else takes over. Regularly.

Distraction happens

As I type this, there’s an American Robin sitting in a tree close to my window, singing full tilt boogie. He’s so near, I can see his bright yellow beak opening and his body expanding with each burst of song. It’s all I can do to not watch him for the next 20 minutes instead of write this.

Full disclosure: I started this article two weeks ago and have been in compulsive Twitter-checking mode since. Hmm…

So whether your distraction is caused by long-term stress or a hard-wired condition like ADHD, it happens. Our brains are not machines. They’re not meant to be “on” constantly.

Your mind wants to gobble up cheese puffs

When your mind’s distractable, anything that’s visual and easy to consume is like a bag of cheese puffs for your brain. When I’m in a brain-snacky kind of mood, I’ll click on just about any link that crosses my path. My brain snackage includes Facebook, Twitter, email, cakewrecks.com, and cake decorating videos on YouTube. It’s true.

There are alternatives to letting distraction drive you (and those who love you) nuts. Here are a few:

Five ideas for shifting distraction

1. The power of a pause

If you notice yourself doing these cheese-puffy activities in the moment, pause. Don’t berate yourself. Just stop and gently ask yourself what you need.

Very often we chomp on brain snacks because we’re tired, overwhelmed, or feel uncertain about how to begin something big. Very often, I find myself online when I need a break.

So I stop and ask, “Is this what I want to do right now? Is this activity nourishing me? What do I need?” Asking these questions can invite curiosity and help you redirect your attention in a positive, respectful way.

2. Let ‘er rip

It’s important to recognize that having a distractable mind isn’t a bad thing. You’re not lazy or lacking in discipline. You’re creative. You’re curious. Your mind is naturally wired for discovery and insight!

When you have these gifts, you can honor them by allowing time for them. You might still nibble on mental cheese puffs occasionally, but I invite you to be curious about what you’re longing to explore. And then do it!

Instead of obsessively watching cake decorating videos on YouTube, I signed up for a month-long fondant decorating class. It was so much more fun and engaging (and delicious) to practice this new skill than watching any video! What do you find fascinating? Make a date with it. Indulge it. Have fun!

3. Try something other than force

Have you ever noticed yourself using force to focus on and complete something? Sometimes force is effective. Sometimes, no matter how much you force, your work starts to drag to a snail’s pace. Instead of strenuously pushing pushing pushing to get something done, give your brain some down time.

Give yourself an on-purpose distraction. Do something different. Get up, move around, get the mail, stretch, put some stuff in the recycle bin. Just get away from the project for a few minutes and see what happens.

4. Write for clarity

When I’m super-distracted, I grab a blank sheet of paper and a purple pen, sit on the floor (away from my desk), and write down everything I’m trying to hold in my head.

Writing things by hand is a powerfully integrative activity. It only takes a few minutes to get it all down on paper — and it feels like setting down a 10lb bag of cheese puffs. Get it all out of your head. Suddenly you feel lighter and clearer.

In Office Spa Day, I encourage folks to do this kind of brainstorming. Once you’ve offloaded the list onto paper, I invite you to choose the one easiest, funnest, most do-able thing on the list. When you start doing that one thing, overwhelm turns into focus and motivation. It’s amazingly simple and so effective!

5. Practice slowing down

Sometimes distractibility is a sign that you’ve been busy and you expect to be busy for-basically-ever. It’s not fun, and lack of focus is a symptom of a life out of balance. Slowing down can help.

Some people rightfully resist the idea of slowing down because it seems counter-productive. How does slowing down get through the to-do list? Some are afraid if they slow down, they’ll never start back up again. As I mentioned, your brain can’t go-go-go constantly without compromising functionality.

The beauty of slowing down is contrast. When you take a break from the Internet for a weekend or afternoon, or when you sit and read a book instead of racing through email, you recalibrate your sense of what’s normal. You re-integrate a new, healthier pace for your brain and body. Sometimes you can even remember that there’s more to life than getting more stuff done (like hugging, savoring a meal, or contemplating clouds).

I’ve written a bunch about the value of retreating. So has Jen Louden and Elizabeth Gilbert and a gaggle of other awesome people. Maybe there’s some merit to this slowing down thing. Just maybe.

Distracted?

If you’re distracted, just know that you’re in good company. Setting an intention to be kind to yourself and compassionate in your solutions can make a big difference.

Are these ideas helpful? What else helps transform your distraction?

However, we had an unopened National Parks version that intrigued me. It has lovely pictures of Yosemite, the Grand Canyon, many other places I’ve never been. The Chance cards were birds and animals. This was not the game I grew up with. And the game pieces? Adorable! I also discovered that there are several “fast game” options. So, I chose a hiking boot and a bicycle and played a round against myself.

Right away, I started rooting for Boot. Boot was a hard worker and Bicycle liked to coast through life. 30 minutes later, Boot had lost and Bicycle was barely ahead as the winner. In evaluating the first round, I noticed that Boot and Bicycle both purchased land and tents as soon as possible. They spent beyond their means of $200 per go-around. When disaster struck (like getting caught littering – a $200 fine), they were unprepared. Major tent repair caused Boot to lose.

As I reflected on the game later, I realized that these spending habits reflect my own relationship with money (not coincidentally). I started to wonder if I used some structure, some kind of rules to guide my spending, would the game last longer? Would I collect more national parks? Could I buy more tents?

I wasn’t looking to defile the national park system, I just started feeling curious. What could I learn about money systems from this game? On my second round the following day, I decided that Boot and Bicycle would be more discerning in their purchases. Collect properties you can afford, but nothing more than a quarter of your total cash. In addition, I set up a rule that they would reserve a $500 bill they weren’t allowed to spend, to create a cushion.

I started the game and immediately a trend showed up: Bicycle was luckier than Boot. Within the first half hour, Bicycle had won a fishing contest ($200), become a Junior Ranger ($60) and saved a rare bird species ($200). Boot had gone to jail twice (-$100) (I didn’t ask why), missed several opportunities to collect $200, and had to pay unexpected fees (-$300).

In a way, this variability is kind of like life. Sometimes things are lean. Sometimes you luck out. Having spare cash for the challenging times can tide you over. This time, neither side blew it. Despite the bad luck, Boot hung in there. I played for 2 hours with no sign of ending and I was actually enjoying myself.

No ending was foreseen, that is, until I walked away from the game for a snack. Our tuxedo cat, Pepper, lay down in the middle of the board and discovered that game pieces make fantastic toys. When I returned, my little domain was demolished. Game over. So, I counted up my cash. Boot: $1750, Bicycle: $2485. A win, but not a landslide. Interesting!

Despite everything I’ve said about Monopoly® before, this was a really fun experiment for improving my financial health. In my business this year, I’ve started thinking about creating spending and saving goals. I like the idea of creating some structures that encourage flow without increasing fear or scarcity.

• Create a cushion of cash that I simply don’t spend
• Save a larger portion of my income for taxes and unexpected expenses (like repairs)
• Continue to pay down debt aggressively, but not to the point where it affects cash flow for normal expenses
• Decide which tools would help me accurately see and understand my current financial position so I can make healthy decisions

I may never play another round of this game, but the lessons I learned were so useful, you could say I’m taking them to the bank! Running a business from my home office can be more effective if I have financial processes along with paper management, marketing, etc.

As a side note, some Monopoly affectionados have made a science of winning at Monopoly. I suspect there are some lessons that can apply to running a small business as well!

Have you learned about money structures or systems in fun ways? Feel free to share!

************************************

Have you ever noticed that your workspace is a container?

Your space is a vessel that holds your ideas, your dreams, your projects and everything you bring to your work. When things are squeezed in to the point of over-fullness, it’s hard for the good to come in – new clients, new ideas, and even income. This kind of abundance can make your work harder and thwart your best efforts.

If you take a peek with me into the clutter clearing process, one powerful discovery my clients find is how their stuff originates from choices they make or defer making. Ideally, you bring compassion and gentleness to this awareness, not guilt or self-judgment. Acknowledging your role allows you to choose differently. It sounds simple, but it’s quite profound. You can begin to create a healthy barrier that determines what can come into your space (from you) and what stays out.

This act of choosing, over time, allows your physical work environment to become spacious. You begin to have room for inspiration, for Divine gifts, for the freedom and peace you crave.

Taking choice a step beyond

One of the reasons I struggled with clutter and overwhelm for so long is because I believed that I can and should handle everything myself. In my assessment, no one could do anything as well. I often had this tight, clench-y feeling in my chest that blocked out my ability to receive help.

Underneath my belief that “I do it best” was a whole lot of fear: of losing control, of making mistakes, and fear of trusting someone else. Along with that fear came a lot of resentment that no one was helping me. (Oh, the irony.) I can hardly blame them.

What resulted from this belief was a stressed-out, over-committed, unhappy body and one very empty, dried-up heart.

If you relate, I want to gently remind you that when you’re filled up with anxiety, the “I’ll do its” and frantic pace, there’s not a lot of room for love to come in.

If you do it too, please know that you’re not doing it wrong. You’re perfect and you’re doing the best you know how. Take a moment to feel some compassion for you. You have a lot on your shoulders.

You don’t have to carry it all.

You really don’t. In fact, you physically can’t. I’ve tried myself and failed many times. If you consider how large the world is and how populated — with over 6 billion people and trillions more animals and plants — you can appreciate the impossibility of the arrangement of handling it all yourself.

So gently bring in some curiosity. What can you set down? It could be something physical in your space that you want to release. It could also be a belief or an assumption that’s weighing on you.

Maybe you’d like to sit with these two questions or journal about them and see what comes up for you: What can I set down? What do I need? As you do this, practice curiosity and compassion with yourself.

Heartfelt sharing

I just spent two days in a workshop with Mark Silver. It was so grounding and insightful, I came home feeling emptied of my inner clutter and deeply, deeply refreshed. I’m no poet, but I felt inspired to write about my experience. I offer it to you with humility.

I am a vessel. Everything I have comes from the Divine in love. All my gifts and talents are God-given. They are a gift to me – and I am grateful.

This shell, the vessel that is my body needs preparation to hold these gifts. For when I am full of accelerating foods and fatigue-inducing foods, when I am full of mistaken beliefs about who I really am, when I’m full of all the things I’m supposedly responsible for, when I am full of interesting but distracting information,

the Love can’t get in. The Compassion can’t get in. Deep, abiding acceptance is blocked from my heart before it can enter. In this place, I feel fully overwhelmed and empty at the same time.

The vessel that is my body needs love and protection. It needs a veil that limits how and what I consume. The precious vessel of my body has a limited capacity to hold, so I must release those things that do not nourish me. I choose to hand over anything that divides me from Source.

A vessel of Divine gifts
A servant to others
A pilgrim on a journey of love for God, for others, of self.

I am one very small part of something much greater than me — and I am grateful.

If this sharing moves you, read it again and let the “I/me” words mean you.

There is a lighter path ahead

Every small step toward self-care and space-care leads to growth. If you feel intimidated by your space, find ways to bring curiosity to your heart’s needs. If that feels too big, start with something super-small.

Just know that it’s possible to choose spaciousness by starting with the physical (your stuff) or with your heart (your beliefs and needs). It only takes a moment to set something down and make space for the love to come in.

A final word

You are more than your clutter or what overwhelms you. You deserve to be free of any excess that you carry and feel deeply nourished. You deserve to know how much you are loved — for you are.

Today, like every other day, we wake up empty
and frightened. Don’t open the door to the study
and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument.

Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.

~ Rumi (2)

With love,
Jennifer

In it, there’s visually blissful art, an article from me, a calendar of events, and a blog archive. Sound familiar? I ask because so many people have told me that it’s the only newsletter they actually read, that I started to realize it’s really something special.

In addition to being pretty awesome, Juicy Gems is my primary tool for letting people know about upcoming classes.

My vision and intentions for marketing

If you’re running a small business or art career, you probably know how important it is to be in touch with people who like your work. You want to contact them without being annoying or sales-y.

When I contact my newsletter subscribers, I have 3 questions use in every message I send:

• Is it helpful and valuable to the reader?
• Is it sincere?
• Is it inspiring?

Intention matters. Having received some creepy, spammy promotions via email myself over the years, it feels that much more important to bring integrity to my marketing. Since I’ve been entrusted with permission to send emails to over 2000 people, I’m committed to using this access in a mindful, respectful way.

I don’t expect you to have my class list and calendar memorized. The goal I strive for is to share just enough information for you to be informed about supportive options for clutter and organizing. I want you to feel informed without feeling bombarded. Practically speaking, I never send more than 3 extra emails a month about a class or product (a promise I make on my Get My Newsletter page).

Most of all, I want for you to have enough time to think about your options and make a decision without feeling rushed.

The actual IHO marketing plan

When I have an upcoming class, here is the system I use for marketing it:

• 8 weeks out: Add to calendar in newsletter
• 6 weeks out: Mention in newsletter
• 4 week out: Send a separate email describing the class
• 2 weeks out: Mention in newsletter, offer free taster class when appropriate
• 1 week from deadline: Send a separate email reminder
• 1 day before deadline: Send a quick reminder

So far, this plan works very well and people seem to respond well to it. That said, I’m always open to feedback.

Getting help

For the first time ever, I’ve hired a virtual assistant to help me plan and deliver the messages I write about upcoming classes. It’s one of the smartest business decisions I’ve ever made. I noticed that I’d forget to send things on time in the past (sound familiar at all?). Now I have someone to whom I’m accountable and it’s really helping a lot!

If you receive my newsletter, now you have a sneak peek into what I’m up to and how things work behind the scenes. I hope it’s useful to your business (more on this in a moment).

If you’re not subscribed to Juicy Gems, let me encourage you to consider it. If the other subscribers are any indication (60% of whom open it within 3 days), you might like it.

Why I’m telling you about this

Everything I’ve described up to this point is actually a kind of organizing (you knew that was coming, right?). Over the 5 years I’ve been self-employed, one of the things I learned to do was create order in my marketing. I’ve developed specific instructions to myself about how to connect with cluttered creatives who need help in their home office.

You can too. In fact, if your business is a little shaky, creating a plan to spread the word about your work can feel very empowering. Here are a few resources I love and recommend without hesitation:

• A 7-Sentence Creative Marketing Plan from Entrepreneur.com
• mplans.com has fantastic marketing plan samples from all kinds of industries (software optional)
• Katy Terpack Tafoya at Success for Solopreneurs
• Molly Gordon’s Authentic Promotion program (and other great marketing resources)
• My favorite heart-centered marketing resource: Mark Silver at Heart of Business

What do you think?

How deliberate and organized is your marketing at the moment? What’s something you’re doing really well already?

We talk a lot about self-care at Inspired Home Office. One of the reasons for this is that I’m challenged by it personally! I regularly forget that I run out of steam about once a week. When I force myself to persist, it lasting consequences for my health, well-being, and overall happiness. It’s become an important part of every class I teach.

Self-care is any activity that leaves you feeling refreshed, invigorated, alive and content. Self care nourishes your senses, your emotions, and your thoughts.

I take self-care as seriously as changing the world for the better. Doing things that nourish you is integral to thriving while you run a business and a home office.

Here’s why self care is so important to you and your business:

1. You are not solar-powered. You do not have perpetual energy, so your spirit and heart must be refueled on a regular basis.

2. You are more than the work you produce, even if you’re creative. You do need to stop. You need rest. Your body needs rest.

3. Your business also needs rest. Can you imagine if you were constantly nagging someone to be better, to make more money, to do more, to be more productive? Can you imagine how annoyed they’d be in a matter of hours? Taking time for you gives your business a break and some space to grow on its own.

4. You are not the one in control. You may think you are in control, but something much, much more expansive has the whole world in its hands. By pausing to rest in those powerful, compassionate arms, you regain perspective of your place in the order of things.

5. Desperation and drama are not compelling sales tools. When you’re refreshed, you allow yourself to be present with and deeply in service to others through your work.

6. When you’re clear-headed, tasks are simpler. Everything you do is simpler, and often more enjoyable. Including organizing (hint, hint).

7. Self-care realigns your priorities. When your spirit is deeply nourished, cluttery objects lose their hold on you. Making decisions to let go of possessions becomes less scary and more compelling.

8. Self-care slows down your reaction time in a positive way. You body stops thinking that every unexpected event is a life-threatening emergency. You’re calmer, more focused, happier.

9. Most people, including me, think that self care is an optional thing. “When I get through this mountain of ____, then I’ll take care of myself.” Sometimes that works. Often it doesn’t and we burn out, get exhausted, and struggle with overwhelm. A little self-care goes a long way.

10. There are a lot of people who count on you – directly or indirectly. When you are deeply nourished, you can be present others in a way that a Frazzled You cannot.

The four kinds of self-care

Self-care falls into four general categories:

Movement: Include walking, hiking, running, drawing, painting, dancing, stretching, gardening, knitting, cycling, swimming, yoga, and practicing stillness. If you’re in a beautiful setting as you do these things, even better.

Body care: Sleeping, eating, drinking water, bathing, yawning, sneezing, eliminating, brushing teeth, combing hair. Done lovingly and with compassion, these activities can be profoundly nourishing.

Contemplation: Come down out of your head to bring awareness to your heart and connect with Source. Ways to do this include prayer, gratitude, retreating, meditating, journaling, collaging, labyrinth walking, singing, silence.

Connection: Being with people or critters who recognize Who You Are is a kind of self care. Honoring, validating, listening, hugging, laughing, sharing, crying, meaningful eye contact, touch. Sometimes you need to ask for these things to receive them. Totally okay.

What you do matters less than how you do it

Let me repeat this: What you do for self-care matters less than how you do it. If you rush through self-care, it will just be another task on your to-do list. The heart has its own timing, it unfolds no faster than it can. Hurrying will just bruise this tender process.

Take your time. You deserve to take time to self care. You’ll benefit — and so will everyone around you, including your business.

What kind of self-care do you love to do?

What is it about January? I flipped the calendar to the new year and was instantly struck by the belief that I’m already behind. Cue the elevated heart rate and pit in the stomach. Whew! You too?

New year, fresh start, right? The resolution is pervasive in our culture. My friend, Jen Louden, wrote a wonderful article about the hype-y kick-butt language marketers are using right now and the damage it causes. Some people are ditching the resolution all together. I want to encourage you to make peace with the Resolution.

If you look at the word itself, it boils down to re-solve. In other words, you do not have to do anything perfectly the first time out of the gate. You can go back and solve it again. For example, if your solution to keeping your workspace neat doesn’t work, you just need to re-solve the problem. It doesn’t mean you failed, it just means you learned something that allows you to make a new, more informed solution. It’s really a process, something you do daily, not annually.

Ultimately, making changes in your workspace and in your life is about responding to your environment. To me, that’s so much less loaded that making a big fat resolution once a year and feeling like a failure come February.

To everything, turn, turn, turn

If you care at all about organizing your business, it’s important to pay attention to December going into January. Here’s why: it is a time of transition.

Really. Just because it’s a new year doesn’t mean you have to start doing all those resolutions on Day 1. You don’t have to have a plan all mapped out. On the contrary. If you came into January feeling unprepared, you’re  normal. January is a blank slate. You’re not behind at all.

January is meant to be a month of planning, not doing. Thinking and dreaming. Resting up and recovering from the holiday crazies. The beginning of the year is a great time to look back over the old year and take stock of your successes and what you’d like to improve. Goodness knows there’s not enough time in December to do this. Making time for it now will make all the difference in how you feel for the remaining 11 months of this year.

Personally, there are only 2 things I prepared before January. The first was a series of collages I made while I was on retreat. They are so beautiful and inspiring and when I look at them, my heart feels all warm and happy. That’s what they’re meant to do. Now it’s my job to spend time discerning what they mean — and start planning how I will manifest them in my life. (Want to see?)

The other thing I did at the end of December, instead of a resolution, I chose 4 words/phrases to describe my focus for the new year (to borrow an idea from my brilliant friend, Cariene MacDonald). Here’s what they are:

Jen’s Focus Words for 2011

• Commit
• Heal
• Deepen
• Give generously

The 31-day plan

Now that January’s here, I’m doing something radical by giving myself full permission to take all 31 days to figure out what I want to do this year. Enter logistics. I have an entire year of classes to put on the calendar, taxes to prepare, financial goals to set. I have 3 big projects to plan (more to be revealed soon). I’m also focusing on how I use my time to make the most of my sparkly, creative hours (in the morning, usually) so I don’t force productivity when it’s harder.

If I’d expected myself to have this all done by January 1, I would be a freaked-out stressball. If you feel that way right now, take January for yourself to plan. Give yourself a whole month to decide your direction and vision. You won’t believe how much better you’ll feel. And you’ll be ahead of the game come February, when everyone else’s resolutions have fizzled out. A little gloating is good for the spirit.

As someone with both ADD and anxiety, the holidays press all my buttons. Even if you don’t have any conditions like this, it doesn’t stop the holidays from getting a little nuts. I’d like to share a few things I’m doing differently this year, both in my work and in my life. Maybe you would, too!

What’s working

1. Filling up my heart-well

Because I tend to end up depleted this time of year, I decided to try filling the well of my heart in advance of overwhelm.

Before I start my day, I’ve been taking an hour to read inspirational writings and journal about them. This practice feels so grounding to me. The deep nourishment I experience doing this practice gives me energy to better manage my reactions when troublesome issues arise.

2. Sharing my plans

If you’re planning to take time off, or are feeling frazzled and just not yourself, consider sharing your plans with those impacted by your physical or energetic absence.

Frontloading is a term I use for giving advance notice to anyone who’s impacted by your absence. This allows you to discuss anything they might need and establishes clear boundaries in an open, respectful and loving way.

Want to see frontloading in action? I’m letting you know that I’ll be on retreat from December 11 through January 3. I plan to be incommunicado (no email or phone) the whole time. You’re welcome to email me during that time, I just won’t reply until January. Read below for details on what I’m doing with 3 whole weeks.

If you need anything from me before then, do let me know. I want for you to feel supported!

3. Designating a big chunk of planning time

I am so excited about the upcoming year at Inspired Home Office! There are so many exciting things that will be happening! Nothing is going away, you’ll just find more to choose from to support your organizing and business goals.

To make space for all this new stuff, roughly 10 of my retreat days will be devoted to deep reflection about Inspired Home Office and planning logistics for next year. I’ve decided this activity doesn’t technically count as work (it’s so fun!). I’ve never taken this much time before, so I’m really excited.

4. Simplifying our Christmas plans

Although most of my family members are lapsed Catholics, the urge to celebrate Christmas lives on. It might be in our veins. Or as someone said in Office Spa Day today, “It’s in the air.” My Jewish and Pagan friends laugh lovingly at how even they receive presents for Christmas. It can get a little crazy.

Inspired Spouse and I agreed on a focus word for this year’s festivities: SANE. We’re doing just 3 social engagements, and saying no to everything else. We’re even skipping the holiday party at Inspired Spouse’s work. I’m also sticking to my short list of gift purchases. Our day-of guest list is tiny. I’m testing the boundaries of my comfort zone and I’m ordering Christmas dinner pre-made from our local deli.

Having SANE as our focus word is SO helpful. I think I can do it. If I slip up, I might recall that classic Seinfeld episode where Kramer says “Sanity NOW!” repeatedly.

What I’m working on

Noticing my wildly vivid imagination

My growing edge (besides ordering the deli’s turkey dinner) is recognizing when my creative thinking gets away from me.

Just an example:

The simple thought, “I want to thank so-and-so before the end of the year” can turn into “I should create custom holiday stationery with my logo and send a hand-written note to every person I know both online and in person in the next week — oh! and include an inspiring quote hand-picked for each recipient.” (falls over)

The funny thing? When I think this stuff to myself, I’m crazy-excited! I really really really believe I can do it!

These flashes of brilliance eclipse my rational thinking. While it’s happening, I even believe that I’m thinking rationally. At the moment, the only filter is I have is to get myself half-way through the project, hate myself for taking on so much, and give up feeling defeated.

I’m learning that sometimes it’s enough to just let the idea come up. I can get excited about it, with full knowledge that it’s out of alignment with my SANE intention. Creativity is a blast, but it doesn’t mean I have to do everything I think up.

What do YOU do to stave off the holiday crazies?

Your turn! Please share what you’re doing that helps you – and something that you’re working on with.

Your comments on your own process are welcome. Just remember to give advice only when it’s specifically requested. This makes exploring safe and learning possible for every reader.

It started back in September when I saw the first glittering tree in a store. Ohh noo, I thought. Here it comes.

If you’re the kind of person who has more ideas than time, the holidays are not your friend.

I’m here to tell you lovingly, compassionately, that if you felt like a zombie until March this year like I did, something’s got to give. You can’t do it all. Well, you could do it all, but the cost to your spirit, your business, and your loved ones is high. Consider making this year different.

Media soup

Our imaginations are captivated by images of the perfect turkey, a whirlwind kiss at the stroke of midnight, of towering heaps of presents gorgeously wrapped. More and more, I’m convinced that this advertising is the enemy of creative people. Although these images inspire us, they also give us a standard so high that we could work our fingers to the bone every day for 6 weeks and not enjoy a single moment of it. It’s too much.

The other thing? Imagine being yelled at for a whole month — how rested would you feel on day 30? Yet if you watch TV, read the paper, go online, or receive emails from major retailers, you are subject to this media screaming match. The sheer quantity of marketing messages increases daily until December 24th (1). Retailers want your money and they’ll entice, cajole, intimidate, and holler until you relent.

While the norm is to start shopping in December, but most of us believe we’re behind if we haven’t started by then. In the marketing industry, we’re called panic shoppers — and an amazing array of strategies are used to get us to part with out cash (2). In other words, companies use strategies that deliberately capitalize on your feelings of overwhelm and insecurity.

Whew!

In contrast with the seasons

This holiday hype is more in tune with spring/summer energy — for those lucky enough to be in the Southern hemisphere, at least there’s a bit more congruence.

In the northern hemisphere, we’re slowing down. If you pay attention to the energetic qualities of autumn and winter, you can feel the pull toward gathering, for completion, for storing up, for sloughing off, for deep, bone-loosening rest. These seasonal activities are vital for all living things, including human beings. We need rest in order to gather up energy for spring. We need to slough off so that there is room later for new arrivals. We need to store up so that we’re spared from expending excess energy.

We must exhale all the way out so that we have energy and space to fully receive what comes in. That’s what fall and winter are for.

Oddly enough, we’re the only critters on the planet that try to live contrary to the rhythms of the seasons. Holiday hype doesn’t help matters at all.

Bridging the gap

If you’re craving some sanity and calm, here are three strategies that help you feel less victimized and more grounded through the holiday season.

1. Create an intention for the holidays.

Today’s message includes a holiday gift to you from my heart. It’s a worksheet that helps you identify the essence of your holiday vision. Use it and you’ll actually enjoy your holidays with significantly less stress. You may even want to complete it with your loved ones.

Just print out the Holiday Worksheet (pdf) and fill in the following sections in this order:

1. What words describe how I would like the rest of 2010 to feel? What do I want? What don’t I want?
2. Describe how it is right now (or even how it was last year). What went well? What didn’t go well?
3. Below the green arrow, write all the things you want to do that will help you create the ideal season. Revisit this worksheet often enough to keep yourself on track towards your vision. Add steps as they occur to you.

Hold the intention of storing up energy for the new year. When you write down what you want, you gain clarity about what needs to be left behind and what choices will best support you. Want other ideas? Read on…

2. Say no. A lot.

If you want to let got of long-held family traditions, saying no can be challenging. Several years ago, I made the tough decision to not fly to Connecticut to spend the holidays with my family. It was hard because I get lonesome for them. However, our quiet, inspired celebrations at home truly nourish me in a way that an airport naked-body-scan, 8-hour flight with hundreds of stressed-out passengers, and a too-short visit ever will. It’s a trade-off. Saying no to the stress has made a positive difference in my relationship.

Saying no is an art form. It takes practice. When you say no, keep in mind that you’re really saying yes to the things that nourish you. This might sound selfish, but when your spirit is full, everyone around you benefits. Completing the worksheet above will give you an easier time declining opportunities or requests because they don’t fit.

3. Clean off your desk

Clearing off your workspace a few times between the holidays helps you wrap up unfinished business, and clearing away the related materials. Put tools in their homes so that you can find them again. This process clears the mental slate and makes space for what’s coming in 2011.

If you want support clearing your space, there is still room in both of the December Office Spa Days for enjoyable work time that gently eradicates the clutter and with it the related overwhelm.

One of the things I like to do is leave “breadcrumbs” for my future self. As I clear off my desk for holiday break, I write myself a note that includes instructions for when I get back in January. It feels great to have a reminder of where I left off and what my priorities are in January. Writing it down gets it out of your head so you can completely let go of it until the right time.

A gentle reminder

You do deserve a break and a restful end of the year. Let this message be a small whisper of sanity in the fray ahead. You can have the experiences you want this holiday season — and you’re worth the effort.