(Hat tip to Marissa Bracke for the title idea.)

Big dreams — and not enough space

Somewhere along the way you learned that giving others the space they needed was how to get along. You did it with a generous intention — you let others take what space they needed, then you set up a little corner in your home and squeezed yourself in.

Except it’s not working. Maybe it’s in a public area so you have to stuff it all into boxes when guests come. Maybe you’ve noticed that, over time, your space has gotten smaller as it fills with things in it that aren’t yours, that you don’t want, and that no one else wants either.

Eventually, you have no space of your own at all.

The costs of making do

My own life and my clients’ lives have shown that having inadequate space (or no space at all) has a significant impact on your spirit, your focus, your sense of well-being, and your ability to connect with people and projects that are life-giving. You downplay it and say that it’s not a big deal. It is.

Without a functional hub, you can hardly keep up with the physical materials, papers, and flotsam. Since you can’t find things, you turn to your memory to retain important details and deadlines. While you may have some success at this, your brain has limits. Things start slipping through the cracks. You forget important events and tasks. You feel overwhelmed. Others notice.

When it gets to this stage, you might think you’re a failure and that it’s your own fault. Allow me to reassure you: you’re not a failure and it isn’t your fault.

Why you need your own space

Every man, woman and child deserves a space of their own in order to thrive. Having a space of your own allows you to  focus, dream, concentrate, plan, create, follow through, follow-up, store, remember, reclaim. This space can allow you to feel nourished, inspired, supported, energized, and calmed. It helps you to set down deep roots and cultivate the courage you need to bring your creative work, whatever that is, to the world, to the people and places and creatures that need it most.

There are some people in the world, even in our own communities, who don’t even have a place to sleep at night. Making a case for a space of your own might sound selfish, superficial or materialistic. But think about it. If you had a space of your own, what could you accomplish? How else can we assist those people who suffer from having no place to rest if we, who can afford such a luxury, refuse to create an environment that allows us to help them? Or encourage those who do?

Setting up a space for you is your gift to others

If you’ve been accustomed to fitting into some dark corner and making do, think about how much of a contribution you could offer if you felt supported by your environment. Think about how competent and resourceful you’d feel. It may be jarring to some of your established relationships when you decide claim a space for yourself. You might also be pleasantly surprised at how little resistance you receive.

A space of your own has some basic criteria:

• A place to store resources and information: Anything that is you-specific — books, records, research, goals, etc.
• A place where you can concentrate: Freedom from distractions, interruptions, or anything upsetting
  
• A place where you are physically comfortable: This includes your chair and desk height, the temperature and amount of light.
  

An ideal space has the following additional qualities:

• A desk that’s wide enough that you can spread out and still have clear space left over
• A chair that’s comfortable to sit in for 6-8 hours
• Adequate, non-glare lighting
• A door that closes
• An environment that contributes to your well-being and nourishment

You have a choice

While you’ve been making do, you’ve sent a message to your spirit that you don’t deserve better, that it’s okay for you to come last, that your work isn’t important enough. You can certainly choose to continue making do for the foreseeable future.

You can also choose to begin the slow evolution of becoming someone who sees herself as an equal to others – enough to claim a chunk of turf. It’s not just an office. Creating that space can be a catalyst for stepping into your life’s calling and being of service to fellow travelers of planet earth. Where there’s space to plan, there’s an opportunity to achieve your dreams.

Thoughts? Me-toos? Feel free to chime in below!

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Diving fully into the contemplative energy of winter, I recently discovered the writing and website of Brother Davin Steindl-Rast. I happened upon a video he narrated and felt so inspired, I just had to share it with you.

If you love looking at inspiring images and hearing words that soothe the spirit, take a break from your work and allow this short video to fill up your heart.

With love,
Jennifer

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Did you notice the seascape on your way in? You might have wondered why on earth there’s art in the middle of my newsletter about organizing. Technically nothing. Nothing, that is, if your goal is to have nothing more than a meticulously, painfully spotless workspace.

If you want a workspace that inspires you, though, beauty is of tremendous creative and energetic value.

Invisible — sort of.

No offense intended to my landlord, but the wallpaper in my home office is horrid. The pattern of blue-and-white roses stagger up the wall in diagonal lines. The paper was hung so the rose bunch patterns don’t line up at the edges. When we first looked at the house I said, “That’s got to go.”

Chances are good that you have something like this in your home office. Maybe it’s a bad view, dark paneling, odd colors, or funky layout. We all have improvement projects that don’t get done – me included. Whatever it is, after a while it becomes invisible. Sort of. It still affects you subtly.

Bringing in beauty too

Here’s the secret that helps me tolerate that crazy rose wallpaper: I have a lot of beauty around me.

Outside my window is a garden view. On the walls I’ve displayed inspirational collages that evoke good feelings when I look at them. There’s lots of natural light. There’s my God List. One day, I’m even going to buy one of these originals to add more serenity and calm in my office.

The beauty I’ve created in my space balances out the wallpaper. That’s the secret.

The other secret

Clutter and disorganization are not always the Problem.

I’ve done many 1-on-1 sessions with people who want to deal with clutter “once and for all” in their session. Instead, they end up excited to create beauty and inspiration around them. They find that even if clutter remains, the space they work in becomes more pleasant and enjoyable to work in.

Beauty might sound superficial. I used to think so myself. But when there’s beauty in your space, it balances out chaos and clutter. Beauty feeds the spirit and creates a container that nourishes your heart.

Overcoming your resistance

We assume that beauty must look like a designer did it and is ready for the cover of House Beautiful. Many people resist creating beauty in their space because they assume it’s expensive. If you believe this, think again.

You are your own authority regarding what is beautiful to you. Not Better Homes and Gardens. Not your mother-in-law. Not Pottery Barn. Beauty is defined by what you love.

Love flowers? Cut some from the yard. Love pink? Buy a gallon of paint for $18. Want inspiration? Post images you love on your walls or collect magazines to make inspiring collages. Many of the artists I feature offer prints of their work, making their beauty affordably accessible to many.

Beauty doesn’t need to be complicated or expensive – it’s there to nourish you and make you feel supported and loved.

And aren’t you worth it?

You matter. Your work matters. When you create a space that nourishes you, your creativity and productivity flow. You have more fun. You like going into your space to work.

If you’re still not convinced that beauty matters, remember that there are people in the world who are waiting for you to show up. People who need your special gift and the way that you share it.

Having a space that nourishes you (with its beauty and inspiration), gives you the energetic resources you need to reach the people (and organizations, animals, and planet) that need you.

Beauty is fuel.

Taking the next step

If time were no object, think for a moment about one thing you would do to bring beauty into your space. It could be as simple as adding a cool, shimmering glass of water or as complex as ripping down all the wallpaper and repainting.

Just reflect for a moment about one thing that would nourish you.

Commit to taking one step toward creating it. When you do, let me know. I’d love to know what happens.

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Finding ways to be truly content with less

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At Breitenbush Hot Springs a few weeks ago, I pulled the Release card from a decorated basket. When I looked more closely at the image, it was a snake shedding its skin — a message to discard material possessions in service to spiritual awakening. It hit home.

Material goods being a stumbling block to deeper spirituality is an old and universal theme. From the Buddhist tradition: “Attachment is the source of all misery.” From the Bible, “…it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” Suffice it to say, the physical trappings of earth have been a spiritual distraction to people for a long time.

Inspired to simplify

Recently, I read a biography of Mother Theresa and was inspired by her extreme simplicity. Along with her sisters, she owned only one thing in the world: her dress. She completely trusted that if she needed something, it would come along.

Now that I’ve gotten the hang of decluttering, I dream of stripping away my comforts down to only the bare essentials. Like the snake shedding unwanted skin, I dream of ditching everything to travel to the sacred places of the world to deeply immerse myself there.

At odds with mainstream culture

It’s hard to admit to this longing of mine, since our culture is so preoccupied with having. Our Western identity is so tied with the power and prestige of certain possessions, it’s hard to imagine living any other way.

However, I’ve grown increasingly interested in this simpler path due to the dissatisfaction I feel with stuff. All the yearning and excitement I feel gazing over the ads in Sunday’s paper evaporates once the purchase is made. I feel empty and unfulfilled. Having the thing leaves me feeling let down.

In reality, I think many people place unrealistic expectations on the physical object. “If I buy this,” I think, “it will make me feel good about myself. I’ll be able to show it off and people will praise me for having it. Then I’ll feel better about myself.” It isn’t that easy.

The inner vacuum

When it comes down to it, we’re all aware that having stuff doesn’t fill the hole that craves love. We’re seeking something deeper. Ambrose, a wise saint from the 4th century, calls it a “God-shaped vacuum” that only the Divine can fill. And nothing but that will sate our spirits. Not a Mercedes. Not a dozen chocolate eclairs. Not even the newest, thinnest, fastest handheld device in the world will get me closer to the Divine. In fact, these things only make us feel more separate, further away from the Love we crave.

Sometimes I see this separateness in the lives of my clients. The very objects around them are suffocating and very physically preventing them from having the life they want. Sometimes there’s just no room to move – physically or emotionally or spiritually. When you start making powerful choices about what to keep and what to release – it can be a life-changing event to finally feel free and full of possibility.

Less stuff = more life

The less we have, the simpler life is — simply because everything we keep requires maintenance. More books means more dusting. More clothing equals more laundry. More paper requires more filing and organizing. Honestly, most people just don’t have that much time! And when we do have free time, the last thing we want to spend it on is repetitive tedium.

If you’re looking for less in your life, here are 2 strategies that will help you begin.

Strategy 1: Focus on removal

Poking around online recently, I stumbled upon a guy after my own heart (an editorial on Zen Habits) who decided to whittle down his possessions to precisely 100. With simplicity on my mind, I sat down and wrote a list of my own 100 most important belongings. It was a powerful exercise that made me realize just how far I would have to go — and also how attached I am to the things I own.

Fortunately, like the snake shedding its skin, simplifying is a process. It’s something you come back to again an again, with new insight, clarity and intention. Now that we’re entering the fall season (in the Northern hemisphere, anyway), it’s a good time to reflect of what you’re carrying with you and what you’re ready to release.

Strategy 2: Focus on additions

If the idea of owning only 100 things to too extreme for you, try this: make a list of all the things you’d do with your free time (if you didn’t have so much busy-work piling up). Come up with a list of 25 things that help fill that God-shaped vacuum in you.

When you’re clear on what you do want out of life, removing the unwanted becomes much easier.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on simplifying, attachment to stuff, and the need for deeper connection with the Divine. Care to comment?

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I’m currently reading a book by Barbara Brown Taylor called “An Altar in the World” – which lovingly explores ways to find the sacred everywhere — not just in a house of worship. It’s been really speaking to me.

Many of us don’t realize that the spaces in which we do our work (home office, car, kitchen, etc.) are sacred. We’re so busy using them, that we don’t stop long enough to notice what a blessing it is to have not just shelter, but also light, space, quiet.

It can be so nourishing to stop and notice this.

By my front door, there is a little cove about waist height and about 3 inches deep where I put my intentions, prayer candles, and a beautiful icon of Mary of Guadeloupe. While I don’t spend a lot of time there, all I have to do is be near that space and I feel nourished, more alive.

So I wanted to ask you, dear reader:

What part of your home feels sacred to you?

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Lessons from markers, dogs, and the 3-letter word

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When it comes to creating order in your workspace, sometimes it’s the smallest changes that have the greatest positive impact on your work and well-being.

I discovered an assumption recently that I consider it “free time” when I don’t have a task or appointment scheduled on my calendar. I was frittering away perfectly good work time watching Ellen videos and reading Facebook – and then wondering why I wasn’t getting anything done. Yipes!

Three weeks ago, I started a new practice that is benefiting both my productivity and spirituality.

It has so revolutionized my focus, that I thought I’d share it with you in case you want to try it.

A disclaimer

Now, before you go thinking I’m a genius, I’ll tell you that someone else thought of this before I did. In Abraham-Hicks, they call it the ‘placemat technique’. What I’m doing is a variation on that theme… without the manifest-y stuff. And also with a different outcome. But it’s similar. Aaaanyway…

Big, colorful, and grape-scented

I needed some structure with my work flow.

Since I’m a tactile learner, I love to use huge pieces of paper and sweeping movements with my whole body to think and plan. I am also a raving fan of those fruit-scented magic markers. Mmm. Strawberry… Lime… Blueberry… Sorry, I digress.

Anyway, I like to use these tools and methods because they’re so natural and fun for me. So I decided to use them with the intention of focusing better when I have unscheduled work time.

Monday morning magic markers

At the beginning of the week, I reflect on what goals I want to move forward. I check my calendar to see how much free time I actually have to work on these projects.

Then, using 2′x3′ Post-It(R) flip chart paper, I create two columns. The first column says “Jen” – and I write down the things I’d really like to do in the next 5 days. This week, for example, it looks like this:

Jen:

• Plan steps for 4HS
• Meet with Marketing Director (me)
• Prep for smARTist event
• Plan to update December expenses/income
• Update pricing on website
• Write article for newsletter

I hang this colorful, fruity paper on the wall next to my desk. When I find myself getting distracted or confused about what I want to be doing, it’s right there. When I finish something, I use another marker and cross it off.

It’s amazing how something so simple can help me be so focused and productive.

What’s in the other column?

I mentioned that there are 2 columns. The second column says “God”. This is one of the most amazing, radical things I’ve ever done in my business. I’m delegating stuff to the Divine.

Now, maybe you’re thinking I’m being blasphemous or that all the recent retreats to the Abbey have made an impact on me. Maybe both are true.

But here’s the thing. Stuff happens every day that I cannot handle. I can’t handle it because I don’t understand it, or it frightens me, or I feel huge resistance to dealing with it. This happens for everyone. Every day. Conflict happens. Surprises happen. Things fall through.

All the stuff I cannot handle

At 3:45am, guess what I do? I wake up and start to worry about all of it. It sucks. Maybe you can relate.

Lately, I’ve started to realize that not a single bit of worrying I’ve ever done has ever changed a thing.

If anything, worry has made matters worse. “What if I don’t make enough money this month?” turns into awkward conversations with loved ones. “Do I have anything to wear tomorrow?” turns into a panicky morning and an uncomfortable day. “Is she mad at me?” et cetera – you know what I mean?

Worrying, no matter how skilled I am at it, is not helping me – or my business.

Drrrrrop it…

As a kid, I remember playing with a friend’s young golden retriever. “Sensi, drop it.” She had a tennis ball, but she wouldn’t obey. I didn’t yell, I just said it calmly, persistently, over and over, “Drrrrrop it, Sensi. Drrrrrop it. Drop. Sensi, drop it. Drrrrrrrop it.”

And some days, I think that’s exactly what God must be saying to me. “Drrrrrrop it, Jen. Drop. Jen, drrrrrop it. ”

My ego really, really wants to hang on to control and try to handle everything. Yet there’s a deeper place in me that wants to hand over the scary stuff and the confusing stuff and the hard stuff. And maybe pick it up later when I feel more ready.

So I started this practice of writing a God List every week, along with my own to-dos, to practice dropping it and actively handing it over.

This week, it looks like this:

God:

• bill paying system
• my week “off”
• hard drive backup
• too much to do

If it’s on this list, it means I have NO idea what to do about it and I’m not sure what my next step is. Because it’s on God’s list, I don’t have to worry. I delegated it. It’ll get dealt with.

I’ll bet you know what’s coming next, but I’m still amazed. After 3 weeks, everything I’ve delegated to God so far has gotten resolved. Inspired Spouse’s broken laptop. Feeling overwhelmed. Snarly budget stuff. I don’t know why it has worked out this way. In fact, I don’t need to know. It just has.

All from writing God a to-do list in watermelon-scented marker.

A word on names: If you wanted to try this yourself, it doesn’t really matter what your religious views are. Instead of a God List, you could write a to-do list for the Universe. Or the Divine. Or the Earth. Or Love. There are thousands of names for the Thing That is Bigger Than Us. I just picked one that works for me.

The lesson

Practice taking conscious ownership of the things you can handle – and purposely giving away the rest to Something Bigger. Scary? You bet. But it’s worth it. It’s clutter-clearing for the spirit.

Thoughts? Yeah, buts? Me toos?

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While I want this blog to be an oasis that nourishes you, sometimes I come across remarkable stuff that has only a passing resemblance to relevant blog content. ADD is my excuse for the random fun you’ll find here. Enjoy!

Wow. All kinds of yummy autumn-themed and seasonally-related things have been falling (ha ha) into my lap lately.

I just had to share, of course.

Wheels of Time

I have completely and totally fallen in love with Partners in Place, a company that helps you create a healthy relationship with time. Unbelieveable. I’m bringing their Wheels of Time kit-that-is-a-journal-and-collage-in-one with me on retreat next week.

Gor-geous. My heart is singing.

Living in Season

Who couldn’t love a person with a name like Waverly Fitzgerald? I’m so thrilled for her, too, since she has recently launched her new online magazine. Its content is as inspiring as her newsletter, but now it’s more beautiful to look at, too.

If you want to feel nourished, body and soul, go spend a few minutes with Waverly. You’ll be sooo glad you did. Her site: www.livinginseason.com

Go outside

That’s what my mom used to tell me as a kid. Here’s a little reminder from me to go do it.

Go notice for yourself the slant of the light, breathe in the scent of the changing air, maybe pick up a leaf or two. Time doesn’t fly past as quickly when you stop to be in it. Go on, get out there… and have a wonderful weekend.

The ADDness goes on, but I’ll stop here for now. Have you any autumn-y, random suggestions to add?

Care to comment?

Do you have a beloved corner in your workspace that radiates inspiration and intention?

Although it can sometimes become dusty and neglected, many home offices have sacred corners or little altars that remind of of who we are, of our place in the world, and provide us with a glimmer of transcendence in the midst of our harried lives.

My home office altar of inspiration

What is currently working well for me:

Lovingly chosen objects displayed together. A few months ago, I re-created my sacred space and took a photo to share. There are just a few things on a bookshelf – a painting my grandmother did, a finger labyrinth I made with some cherished friends, and a sign I made that reminds me of Who’s In Charge.

I add objects periodically, significant ones that remind me of people I love and cherished moments and places.

Big, fat collages all over. I make a collage for each of the 9 areas of life – about every year – and I hang them all over my office. I love them. They’re beautiful to look at, inspirational, and they turn my whole office into sacred space.

All office, all the time. A while ago, I decided that I didn’t want my clothes to live in my office closet anymore and moved them out. Now everything in my office relates to my business. This helps me feel more focused and my office is less sloppy.

What I’m currently working on

Outdated inspiration. My collages are about 2 years old now, and starting to feel a little stale. I’m planning to remedy that over the Christmas holiday, but I notice that they don’t inspire me the way they used to. They represent who I was, not where I’m going.

Dust. It’s right up there with vacuuming.

What do YOU do to put the sacred in your space?

What works really well for you? What are you working on?

Share your insights and ideas! Your comments on your own process are welcome. I also request kindly, firmly, that you not give advice to me or others unless it’s specifically requested. This makes exploring safe and learning possible for every reader.

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Sand Sea Sky by Michelle Ciarlo-Hayes. Used with permission.

What feelings and sensations come up for you when you look at this image?

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How the stuff around you is a sign of abundance

You have stuff.

Maybe you hate the way the printer works. Or the snarl of cords that lurk under your desk. Maybe it’s the massive accumulation of half-finished projects. Or papers that may have been important once, but now fill you with dread.

Sometimes it feels like your stuff has you.

Because of the negative feelings you have about some of the items in your workspace, you begin to resists the entire space. The whole enchilada. You feel cramped, uncomfortable, and it’s hard to get anything done.

Over time, you start to develop a barely-tolerable relationship with your space.

Renegotiate your relationship

If you are in a relationship with a person who nourishes you, you actively care for that relationship and give it your time and attention. You give back what he or she gives to you. You grow closer and feel loved and supported.

It’s the same way with your belongings.

If something you own feels unsupportive or draggy, it’s healthy for you to manage it so that it doesn’t affect you negatively – or you can simply let it go.

You have a right to a workspace that feels clear and inspiring.

Find gratitude for your stuff

While you may feel enslaved by stuff, in reality, you are swimming in abundance. Every object around you is like a friend, waiting to assist you, help you, or inspire you.

Even negative-feeling items around you are your devoted, if imperfect, servants.

• That printer will print out anything you ask, at any time of day, in almost unlimited amounts. Could you possibly imagine asking a flesh-and-blood human to do the same?

• That pile of books, if overwhelming, are a collection of teachers gathered together to inform and advise you.

• The desk, though it looks out of control, it’s a sacred space dedicated to your work. This space helps you create, complete important projects, and is the altar from which your greatest gifts are offered.

What overflowing abundance you have, right in your very midst!

And your stuff will nourish you in return.

What thing in your space is most distracting to you right now? Take a moment to notice it.

It is serving you? What do you feel grateful for about this item?

Where would you like this item to go – so that you feel more clear and supported while you’re working? You might want to let it go entirely. You might want to put it somewhere out of sight. It’s up to you. Whatever you feel compelled to do, take that one action.

If you do this process, one object at a time, you will feel clearer, lighter and will have practiced a profound kind of self care.

And aren’t you worth it?

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