Since Inspired Home Office classes are offered by phone, I don’t do a lot of teaching in person… but I love it. Last night, I got to speak to a full house of local artists about creating an inspiring studio space at The Art Department (a really sweet local business in Salem). What a blast!

There were moments of seriousness and laughter as we talked about the challenges of letting go of treasures. We dreamed about the environments that would make our hearts and creativity sing. I hope those who attended had as much fun as I did!

Masquerading projects

The distinction between a task and a project was a revelation for me years ago. When I added a project to my to-do list, I felt really frustrated that even though I had worked on if for a good while, but couldn’t get a “check mark” because it wasn’t done. Taxes are a good example. Write “do your taxes” on your to-do list and just wait — it’ll be on there forever.

Last night I shared that a task takes about 15-20 minutes to complete. If it takes any longer than that, it’s really a project. Projects are a collection of tasks.

The reason why it’s so hard to have a project on your to-do list is that it’s too big. What it really needs is to be broken up into smaller tasks before you begin. Even if you just write down the next 3-5 tasks (under 20 minutes), you now have action steps you can follow. Your brain can wrap itself around the idea of a few tasks, but it boggles at whole projects.

Removing the mask — practical ideas for your projects

One of the women who attended my talk last night followed up with a question by email:

I usually think something is just a task and will only take a short time and lo and behold it is really a project!  Like cleaning my quilting space…I thought oh I can get this done in a day and 8 days later it was done!  What is your method for figuring this out…any ideas are appreciated. 

I’m a big fan of writing things down — it’s visual, it’s kinesthetic, and (if you talk to yourself) it’s also auditory. Your brain revels in having all of these sources of input seeing, touching, and hearing your ideas.

So I suggest grabbing a p0en you like and blank sheet of paper. Write the name of the project (or suspected project) at the top and underline it. Then, underneath, do a 3-minute brainstorm listing all of the steps you’d take to accomplish the project. This is the exact same process that we use in the Office Spa Day class.

Cleaning My Quilting Space

Find the scissors and tape measure
Go through the box of fat quarters
Put cutting mat back
Put quilting frame away
Research containers for projects in process
Pick up dropped pins

With this hypothetical brainstorm list, you’d review it looking for things that would take more or less than 20 minutes.

To aid yourself visually, you could put a T next to tasks (less than 20 minutes) and a P next to projects (more than 20 minutes). “Researching containers” would likely take longer than 20 minutes. “Going through the box of fat quarters” might also (what fun!). When you notice which of these items are actually projects, you can either ignore them for now and just work on the tasks for the main project (clearing the quilting space) or make a new sheet of paper and list the tasks for the projects you discover on your list.

How to make it inspiring

Doing this process helps you prevent being surprised by lurking projects. My favorite part is that as I work through the list of tasks, I get credit for all the small things, not just the finished product. This encourages me along the way. I also delight in adding unexpected small steps to the list as I do them, which just gives more evidence of my progress!

The more you do this process (or any variation on it), the better you get at recognizing projects. You get better at guessing how long a task will take to complete. Within a couple of months, you become the Master/Mistress of Projects and they no longer surprise you. It’s pretty awesome to feel some control over the things you take on!

Have you encountered a recent task that turned out to be a project in disguise? I’m curious! Please feel free to share about it below.

Happy September! Can you feel all the back-to-school energy in the air? Maybe it’s even taking place in your own household. This season, that energy has me thinking about books. Several of my clients are working on long-untouched collections of books lately too. Do you have books?

Books are like friends. They carry memories with them. They are a tangible reminder of who we’ve been, where we’ve been, and what we’ve learned. They are sentinels of what we value. With all these strong associations, it’s very common to hang on to books long past their useful life, even when we don’t want them or run out of room to store them. We have an undeniable emotional relationship with these lovely, bound collections of ideas.

How I collected books I dread

Way back, Inspired Home Office was a little glimmer of an idea I gently tossed around with trusted friends. I had no idea what IHO would be, but I loved it. I also felt pretty insecure about my expertise as an organizer because, for someone who’d been as disorganized as I was, I felt nervous that I deserved any credibility or authority.

So I bought books. I loaded up on the Big Names in organizing: Covey, Allen, Morgenstern, Kingston, Gillingham-Ryan and others. I got books about organizing, time management, feng shui, money, decorating and others. My thinking was that if I read the experts that I would feel more confident and knowledgeable.

In case you hadn’t noticed, I was attempting to solve something from a place of fear. Reading the words of all these polished, accomplished authors just made me feel more insecure and fearful. I found myself comparing myself to them. I felt smaller and smaller. My little internal committee was scoffing at the very idea that I had something to contribute. Yuck.

Two big lessons learned

Although many of these authors had fantastic ideas, I was insulted by the very idea that there was One Right Way to do anything. It bothered me that so few left room for interpretation or personal experience. I felt insulted by the tone used in some of the books, “It’s simple, anyone can do this!” because this was not my experience. I couldn’t do it. Many of the people I’d met couldn’t follow their simple advice.

In hindsight, reading these authors also helped me realize that there are many ways to get organized and none of them are perfect. These authors write about methods that work for them. And in the end, there’s only one way — the way that works for you. So, in some ways I’m indebted to them, even if I didn’t agree with all of their strategies.

And a true confession

The surprising thing is, after feeling all this resistance and negativity associated with some of these books, I still own them. Today. They’re sitting in a pile, half-read on my shelf.

Even if I’d once loved these books, I know they don’t fit me anymore. What’s a sentimental bibliophile to do?

One way to clear out old, unhelpful books

To honor and possibly release your books, here are the 8 steps to try:

• Take your time with your old friends. Go one book at a time.
• Hold the book in your hands. Notice the title, the cover, the author.
• Reflect on what you wanted to learn from owning this book. What hopes did you have?
• How do you feel when you hold/look at this book?
• Be curious: Does it align with your the vision you have for your life?
• If you released it, could you find it again if you needed to?
• Where could it go next? Back on the shelf? To an organization in your community that buys books? To a charity that sells them to fund their work?
• What’s your next step? Allow yourself to decide.

Trust your intuition with these questions. If you want to keep the book, don’t force yourself to release it. Often there’s a lot more going on emotionally than practically (as in, where to donate it), so take your time. Make space for the feelings and memories to come up. Cherish them. Make room for them.

Choose and act

As I looked over my own pile of organizing books and did this process, I discovered that there are two that have a real ick feeling to them. I’m going to release these — in fact they’re now by the back door so that I’ll remember to put them in the car. The rest I still look at occasionally and like to have them when my clients refer to them. So the remainder will stay.

Is it time to spend a little quality time with your books? You never know what friendships you’ll rekindle in the process!

Feel free share your experiences with books by commenting below!

If you live or work with someone who’s disorganized, you’re miserable around her sometimes. You also realize that she’s pretty miserable too. Clutter is frustrating for everyone.

People ask me this a lot: How do I get her to change?

My answer: You can’t.

She probably needs help. And you might think that you’re helping by offering suggestions. Maybe you pick it up for her. Or sneakily throw stuff away when she’s not looking. Or nag. Or issue ultimatums. Or even beg.

To be honest, we all do these things in an attempt to get an uncomfortable situation to change. They’re all strategies that supposedly make different choices. You can absolutely try all of these things, but they just don’t work.

The nature of change

The truth is, you can’t change someone. You can coerce, cajole, and nag, but you can’t really force change onto someone. Change is an inside job — and even that hardly works! Think about the last time you resolved to change a habit. Every time I do, it’s a lesson in humility.

Change is hard. And slow. If we can hardly get ourselves to change, it’s even less successful when it’s another person.

Why attempts to change others don’t work

Attempting to change someone else almost always backfires. People have an automatic, ingrained response to someone attempting to change them. I’ll bet you can guess what that automatic response is.

When you try to get someone to clean up her clutter (read: change), she resists. She pushes back. Or she avoids the issue and hides it. In other words, nothing gets resolved. What’s worse, you damage the trust in your relationship.

Don’t suck it up

Living or working with someone who is cluttered isn’t a cake walk. It’s hard, disruptive, and stressful. It’s hard for you personally, and it’s hard to see someone you care about struggle.

You probably have some good intentions at heart by wanting to help make it better. You may also be sending the unintended message that she’s wrong or bad for doing things the way she does.

It’s important to take care of yourself. If you have a space where you can close the door, this is a good thing. You get a reprieve. This isn’t the final solution, however.

Some unexpected, practical suggestions

The one thing you can do that will help is offer acceptance. Nothing creates an environment more ripe for change than this. In fact, acceptance is a core value of Inspired Home Office. When a person feels deeply accepted as they are, that is the moment when lasting change becomes possible.

Your role, as someone who loves and lives with a cluttered person, is to communicate to her that she is accepted as they are — imperfect and beautiful. By changing how you interact with her, it becomes safe for her to start making her own changes.

It sounds crazy, but in my years of working on this issue, acceptance is the tool I use again and again. It works.

Acceptance in action

If you want to try acceptance, the following suggestions are ideas for practicing it:

• Find a part of her that you love and accept without question. Like her good heart. Or her laugh. Think of some of the qualities she has that you admire. Share this with her without ‘buts.’

• Use humor. I have an annoying habit (according to Inspired Spouse) of removing plastic bread tags and leaving them on the kitchen counter. (Oh, if that were my only annoying habit!). One day, I was fishing through my purse and found three of those bread tags at the bottom. I laughed out loud — and I got the point! If you’re using humor, check your intention. Be sure it’s clean and not intended to jab or criticize. Used well, humor can diffuse stress and encourage creative solutions.

• Share how specific kinds of clutter impact you — without blame. Share your truth without expecting anything to change. It’s especially helpful if you share your feelings. For example, you could say, “When I see your desk, I feel helpless, frustrated, and overwhelmed.”

• Refrain from judgment. It’s tempting to think that you could do thing better than she can. Unfortunately, putting yourself in the role of judge can be a set-up for the judged. Instead, keep an open mind that there are more solutions available than you know of. Be open to the idea that this person might need very different organizing systems from you. Be curious about her.

• Ask what she needs — and listen. Although you may think you already know what she needs and how to fix things, listening non-judgmentally is profoundly healing. Listening can heal some of the conflict between you (if there has been any) and dissolve the judgement. It builds trust and it helps her feel supported.

• Ask how you can support her. Instead of being an adversary, let her know that you’d be willing to help if she asked (if this is really  true for you). Cluttered people often feel very lonely and helpless (even though they are quite capable). Offering assistance can help her find the courage to begin to address her disorganization.

• Find an outlet for your frustration. If the clutter is really getting to you and change isn’t happening, talk to someone about it. You need empathy and listening too. Bottled up hostility don’t help improve a situation.

Of course, if you do any of these things with the express intention of changing the person, it will backfire. By refraining from judgement and becoming an ally to the cluttered person, you’re creating a safe environment where change can become possible where it wasn’t before.

I wish you blessings on this journey. Feel free to comment below!

Did you ever have one of those “Okay, fiiiine. I’ll do it” moments? Someone wants something from you. You know that whatever is being asked is too much, but you say yes anyway?

Yup. Me too.

“Okay, fiiiine” is a way of permitting something into your life, into your calendar, into your mind. In the moment, it usually feels like you don’t have a choice. Your daughter didn’t work out a ride to dance class. Your spouse forgot to switch the laundry from the washer to the dryer. Your client needs to meet with you at a time of day when you’re kinda groggy and not on your game. You don’t want to, but you do it anyway.

Psst! It’s sacred.

Most people slip through this moment without realizing what’s just happened. Believe it or not, it’s sacred. “Okay, Fine” is an opportunity to honor your boundaries in relationship to time and to commitments. It’s a sacred moment when you’re given the chance to act toward your highest good.

The goal isn’t to say no to everyone, the goal is to recognize that you have a choice in that moment. To wake up to the possibility that the world doesn’t need to rest on your shoulders alone. If you can recognize this opportunity to choose, you can begin to develop your No muscle, your Work it out yourself and get back to me muscle, and your I accept this request and will gladly do it muscle. Powerful stuff!

Over time, requests for your attention, time and talent can fall into elegant categories. No, thank you becomes a viable answer. Resentment falls away. It’s as if you develop your own inner stoplight, complete with green arrows, blinking yellows, and solid red. You develop your own boundaries. People trust you more. You trust yourself more too.

Playing with “Okay, Fine” in your workspace

When you have too many Okay, Fines on your to-do list, your life can feel pretty crazy. When you have lots of Okay, Fines on your desk, it can look pretty crazy. I’m sure this isn’t news.

It can be really helpful to look at the sources. Sometimes things end up on your desk because you have a boundary you’re unconscious of or haven’t enforced. For example, there’s cat litter on your keyboard again — and you suddenly realize this bothers you. Or someone interrupts you while you’re working — and although you love them, you dislike their timing. Or you’ve gotten another one of those catalogs for the nth time — and realize you don’t want to keep shoving them around.

And remember that you have a choice.

Because you do. And it’s a sacred, precious thing.

The sneaky stuff that skips “Okay, Fine” entirely.

Lots and lots of stuff sneaks into our spaces before we even get to Okay, Fine it. It slips under the radar without our say-so.

Email, for example. Messages and invitations on Facebook. Free bonuses. Jury summons.

It’s sneaky stuff. For all intents and purposes, it looks like stuff you have to do. It piles up or comes unbidden and the assumption is that you have to do it all. Use it all. But you don’t, because you have a choice.

It might seem selfish to consider your needs first, but it’s not. In fact, by doing this, you’re modeling for others how to care for themselves and empowering them. It’s a double sacred gift: you grow more grounded and so do the people around you.

Turning off the hose

When you’re not sure how to choose or your boundaries are unconscious, it’s like a garden hose with no nozzle for regulating the flow. That sneaky stuff leaks (or sprays!) into your space without your consent.

Let’s say that you wanted to practice exercising this choice. One of the best tools in the Inspired Home Office lineup is the Wish Kit for helping you determine what you want in your workspace. This a powerful tool helps you practice using choosing and focusing on what you want (rather than what you don’t want). You begin to move forward quickly.

So start by thinking about what you want in your space – physically, energetically, emotionally, practically, and in terms of your boundaries. It could look like anything!

Once you have some clarity, you can set up some structures that honor your boundaries in your space. Here are a few ideas:

* Placing a beautiful cloth over monitor at the end of the day
* Having a door that closes
* Wearing noise-canceling headphones
* Asking for what you need (not be interrupted, bandwidth use)
* Proactively removing irritants – unsubscribing to newsletters, people who irritate you on Facebook or twitter, etc.
* Setting up email filters
* Setting up work hours and play hours
* Putting “buffer time” or transition time between activities
* Scheduling vacation time (even if you stay home)
* Culling out resources you no longer use that take up space
* Relocate the cat boxes to another room

These actions turn off the hose of frustration, resentment, and overwhelm. What boundaries would you like to establish in your own environment?

No matter where you start, know that establishing healthy boundaries, “letting your yes mean yes, and your no mean no” is a process. It takes time. Bring gentleness and curiosity to your process and you’ll see results in no time.

When it comes to clearing clutter from your space, it’s this invisibility that makes it hard to start the clearing process. If you’re not aware of what’s there and you can’t see it, how can you clear it?

Here are three ideas:

• Draw a circle around it (restrict) – Take a lovely piece of ribbon or blue painter’s tape and encircle the area you want to clear. By restricting the sheer number of square inches, you’ll find you can concentrate better to clear it!
• Put it somewhere new (relocate) – By physically picking it up and moving it, you create spaciousness – and focus. Once you have that pile on your lap (or cafe table or park bench), you can clear out the unnecessary with greater ease.
• Turn that puppy over (reverse) – Amazingly simple AND effective. Take any old pile, flip it over, and start working from the bottom. The stuff you now pick up first is enough out of date that it’s way easier to clear.

When it comes down to it, what’s needed is a chance to really see what is there so you can decide what happens next. Try any of these strategies and see what you think!

Do you have other ideas for seeing your stuff with new eyes — and getting it cleared?

The goal: Unsubscribe from as many automatic emails as possible

Why we don’t do it

You just want to get through your email, right? I know I do! So when we receive unwanted email, reactively clicking “delete” does the trick — in the short run.

By contrast, unsubscribing takes an extra couple of steps. You usually have to scroll to the bottom of the email and click “unsubscribe”. Sometimes you have to go to a website and enter your email address or click a button. Some sites even ask you to tell them why you’re “leaving”.

So, one of the reasons why we don’t unsubscribe is that it takes extra time and thought. We’re busy.

The other reason we don’t: Relationships

I have a friend who receives all of her friends newsletters, probably 20 in total each month, and she “can’t” unsubscribe because she doesn’t want to hurt their feelings.

Can you relate? Maybe you had good intentions when you signed up, but now you never read them. Or you aren’t interested in the topic. Or you’re just not close anymore. Whatever the reason, every time you get one of those emails, you get a little dose of guilt along with it.

Take courage. If you take a moment to explain why you’re unsubscribing, chances are good that you won’t permanently damage the relationship. Something like, “Unsubscribing helps me create more simplicity in my life. I still value our connection.” As long as it’s honest, this keeps the door open.

Why it’s useful

Unsubbing is useful because it can drastically reduce the volume and sheer numbers of email you receive weekly. Imagine only receiving emails you want!

It also saves you a lot of time, not just from clearing your inbox, but also prevent you getting distracted by reading things that don’t interest you. You can be more focused when the items in your inbox are relevant to your work.

How to do it

Are you sold on the idea yet? If you are, the key is mindfulness.

Host an email mindfulness party. For the next week, every time you check your inbox, ask yourself these questions when you open an email:

• Do I want this?
• If no, where did it come from?
• Is there a way to prevent this in the future?
• Take that next step to prevent future emails — and unsubscribe.

Practice this for just a week and chances are good that your email load will become lighter. You’ll be able to focus on doing what you love and less time on what you don’t.

Thoughts on unsubscribing? Yeah, buts? Me toos?

Do you remember the last time you took a walk in the woods?

Maybe you can recall the quality of the light, the views and scenes that passed you, the kinds of plants and trees along the way, or the companions who accompanied you. There’s something meditative about the woods.

Practically speaking, most people find that a walk in the woods is fairly easy to do. You simply choose a place to begin and then start walking. It’s so obvious how to take a walk in the woods that it hardly seems worthwhile to explain it.

You just start.

You don’t worry about step 247 or bridge number 2 or the fourth squirrel. You just walk.

Organizing is like that too.

Organizing is just like a walk in the woods. You begin. You take a single step forward – and another – and another, pausing occasionally to take in the sights.

Except when it isn’t.

Unlike walking in the woods, people do get stressed about where to put things (step 247) or how to deal with email (bridge number 2) or dealing with time management (the fourth squirrel). When you worry about these things, it’s as though you’re standing stock still in the middle of the path with your eyes closed.

You can’t get there any faster by thinking so hard.

Just take a step.

Depending on the length of your legs, a single step happens in about a half-second. Is there something you can you do in your space today that would take a half-second?

The idea isn’t to get to the end of the trail in one fell swoop. Your legs aren’t that long – and neither is your attention span.

Maybe, just maybe, you’d be willing to take a “walk” through your workspace today, taking half-second actions to move what you can.

That fourth squirrel will appear when it’s supposed to and no amount of thinking will make it come faster.

Enjoy your walk.

Do you have an abusive relationship with your clutter?

Have you ever said something along the lines of:

I need to whip my office into shape, cut through the clutter, and/or kick my own butt.

A quick Google search reveals phrases like:

• Fight and Beat Clutter
• Conquer Clutter
• War on Clutter
• Clutter Busters
• Combating clutter

Um. What’s with the violence?

Seriously.

I mean no disrespect. If you use this kind of language, it reflects a certain degree of frustration with your circumstances. Overwhelm. Fed-up-edness.

Violent language is a concealed attempt to motivate. It’s arguably effective, but at what cost?

If you use violent language about your clutter, you are both the abuser and the victim at the same time. It means that every foray into your workspace to get work done  feels like a battle that you’re simultaneously winning and losing.

Not feeling inspired at work? No wonder.

Make peace with your piles

Making peace with your clutter begins with a simple thing: calling it by its proper name.

Is it really clutter? Or is it bank statements, notes from a conversation, and unsorted mail? Maybe it’s notes about a new idea. Or your kids’ drawings from first grade.

Call each object by its real name. And a lot of that anger and violence will dissipate.

What it’s there for

If you’re like a lot of people who remember only what they can see, having items around and visible is an intention to remind yourself. It may not always work well, but you’re making an effort to care for yourself.

The point is to reflect on the intention of saving the things you’ve saved and honor the choice you made.

We talk about this in more depth in Office Spa Day, but when you can find respect for your choices, the violent relationship dissipates. In its place what evolves is a desire to care for yourself, your space, and your stuff in a loving way.

Without a trash can, nothing goes anywhere. Everything, but everything is on its way to the trash can – it’s just a matter of when.

Your trash can and recycle bins are like the drain in your sink. Without one, your stuff floweth over and your space gets pretty mucked up.

Yet, waste receptacles are an overlooked tool in many home offices. Sometimes they’re too small, too far out of reach, or completely non-existent. Any of these scenarios are invisible barriers that slow you down and distract you while you’re working.

The gift of having your trash in flow is that it gives you clear space to work, think, and focus. Ahhh.

Here’s what I do for trash in my own home office

What works well for me:

When I’m almost overwhelmed, I clean up. My office *always* used to be a mess. Now that it’s more manageable, I more easily notice when I’m at the threshold of overwhelm.

When about 80% of my desk surface is covered, I start feeling a little panicky and disoriented. When I feel this, I stop whatever I’m doing and clean up until my desk is almost (or completely) clear. This happens about every 1-2 weeks and takes about 15-30 minutes, but I don’t schedule it. I just pay attention – then act.

My trash can is located just to the right of my desk – within arm’s reach. I’m right-handed, so anything I need to throw away is usually in that hand already. I don’t have to get up. In it goes without a second thought.

The recycle bin is under my desk where I can reach it. I toss out more paper than anything else. No matter what direction I’m facing, I don’t have to think, I just throw it in there and keep working.

I tie an existing habit to a new habit. (Hat tip to Havi.) Our trash pickup is on Monday morning, so on Sunday night, along with the rest of the household, I empty my office trash as well. This keeps the unwanted stuff flowing out of my workspace.

What I’m working on

Recycling. Because the recycle bin is under my desk, I can’t actually see it. We don’t have recycling pickup (like we do for garbage), so I forget to empty the bag and it gets way out of control. Sometimes I have to forcefully stuff things in. This is quite shy of my goal of flow.

I hate to vacuum. It’s loud, mind-numbing, and it upsets the Inspired Cat. Technically, though, tiny bits on the carpet constitute garbage. After a while, the schmutz starts to bug me, so I drag out the old watermelon of a vacuum to deal with it. Grudgingly. I confess, I’m not working very hard on this one.

What do YOU do for trash?

What works really well for you? What are you working on?

Share your insights and ideas! Remember to be kind to yourself and others.

Although you’ll rarely catch me at the mall, I’m a fan of those big kiosks that harbor a colorful, glowing diagram of the entire place.

No matter how lost, there’s a friendly star that tells me where I am.

Knowing where you are helps orient you. It helps you find direction to move forward confidently. It helps you appreciate where you’ve come from.

A map for an inspiring home office

Just for you, I made a map that shows how to create a workspace that nourishes you. It has seven basic steps. (You’ll just have to imagine the glowing colors.)

1. Feeling deeply stuck and unsatisfied.
2. Creating an idea of the workspace you really want.
3. Taking stock of how things are today.
4. Clearing out the things that no longer serve you or your business.
5. Finding intuitive places for the things you want to keep and use.
6. Enjoying a fairly functional, soul-nourishing workspace.
7. Creating fun, intuitive systems for projects and business tasks.

Where are you?

If you’re working on several of these steps at once, that’s totally normal. You may also find that you repeat some steps again and again. No judgment about it, that’s just how it works. It’s a process.

What step(s) are you on today – and how do you feel about it?

(Reminder: Comments before August 24, 2009 enter you to win some fun stuff from Inspired Home Office. Please feel free to participate!)