Brain labels. Ever had one attached to you?

• attention deficit
• hyper
• depressed
• anxious
• autistic
• distractable
• anti-social

I feel yucky just typing these. When I was in grade school, my teachers said I was “not performing to potential”, “talkative”, “a daydreamer”. The worst was “Queen of the Space Cadets”. Ouch. Years later, as an adult, I got the label “attention deficit disorder”.

Brain labels erode confidence

Although I’m sure my teachers meant no harm, their labeling made me feel different – in a way that isolated me and prevented me from asking for help. Somehow that label meant that the behavior was my problem. If I would just try harder… (ever heard that one?)

In my heart of hearts, I knew I was fine just the way I was — I loved being creative and imaginative — but not everyone is that lucky. Over time, we unconsciously absorb the belief that being different is not okay. We fall prey to the belief that we’re inferior, not intelligent, or as good as those who easily fit the norm.

Intelligence is more than your IQ

Ode Magazine recently published an article I’m crazy about. It’s called Your Brain is a Rain Forest, by Thomas Armstrong, which explores the concept of “neurodiversity”. Instead of a one-size-fits-all model brain, he suggests that there’s an infinite variety of brain types — all of them useful in their own right.

Instead of automatically labeling brains that deviate from the norm as aberant or inferior, Armstrong  argues persuasively that brain labels are, among other things, an indicator of our culture’s bias. Western culture is fast-paced, highly social, driven, and productive, so it’s inherently biased against brains that process slowly, are introverted, methodical, or dreamy. This is a loss, since all brains (and their people) have something valuable to contribute.

Just look at the life of Temple Grandin, autistic genius and creator of a humane cattle chute.

Caring for your brain in a sped-up, overstimulating world

As I’ve been writing this, the grass is being mowed outside my office. I can’t change this fact. I’ve gotten up about 6 times, turned on classical music, closed the door, closed the window, and put on my noise-canceling headphones — all to manage my focus.

In Armstrong’s article, he emphasizes the importance of constructing what he calls “positive niches” for your kind of brain. Just like birds or plants, different brains thrive in environments that compliment their unique qualities.

In addition to communities and geographic areas Armstrong discusses, at Inspired Home Office we create micro-level positive niches. My purpose is to help you create an environment that supports you and encourages your creativity. I never focus on your brain’s weaknesses. Instead, we explore what your brain does well so that you can integrate it into your work environment.

Some of the the unique traits and intellect that clients demonstrate include:

• emotion
• sensitivity and intuition
• creativity
• vision
• movement
• placement of physical objects
• systems
• relationships

When viewed through this positive lens, “deficiencies” become assets that are used to inform the creation of a nourishing environment. For example, someone who is highly visual might need something beautiful (window view, painting, collage, inspirational quote) to look at while working. Someone with a lot of energy might use a bouncy chair or treadmill while using the computer, so she’s not rigidly confined to a desk. Someone who craves solitude for reflection and renewal can set up systems that buffer her from interruption.

Your brain is a unique and beautiful gift

Take a moment to entertain this idea: if you struggle in your work environment, the problem isn’t your or your brain, it’s simply your environment. It doesn’t yet match your brain’s needs.

Don’t let a label run your life. Take a few minutes to read Armstrong’s article for full impact and begin to celebrate the brain you have.

Then explore: What’s one (small or large) adjustment you can make to your current workspace so that it more closely matches your brain’s strengths?

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It’s happened to all of us. We’re in the process of clearing off a space and we come across something we really want to let go of, but can’t. We freeze — stopped in our tracks by obligation or grief or fear. All clearing efforts come to a screeching halt.

Has this happened to you before?

What do you do?

Things that work for me

When it happens to me, I like to pause for a moment and see if there are any emotions that need some space. This is especially effective for things that I have sentimental attachment to. Old purses. Sweet cards from loved ones. I pause and feel the feelings.

If it’s a more practical item, I like to ask myself, “What do you need?” and really listen to the soft reply that often comes. I also ask myself, “Do you need this? Do you love this? Does it support you and your spirit?” These questions really help me get to the bottom and release the frozenness.

These usually help clarify the next step.

Things that don’t work so well

Well, there’s always good old denial. “Oops!  A whole drawerful of miscellaneous power cords?! Let’s pretend I didn’t see that! Moving right along…” When something it too complex or I’m already overwhelmed, this is quite effective – in the short run. In the long run? Stuff doesn’t get released and it builds up.

Saving it for later is my other strategy. I do this especially with binders full of information from classes or workshops I’ve attended and paid good money for. “Someday” I’ll go through them all and make even better use of the material in them. Never happens.

What works for you?

When you’re clearing and you find something you want to release, but can’t, what do YOU do?

Please share your thoughts below…

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During a recent class, we discussed how important it is to celebrate your accomplishments (big and small) before moving onto the next task. Celebration creates energy. A fun discussion about energy, fuel, cars and organizing ensued. I invited two of the participants, both named Sarah, to write about their perspective on the topic. Enjoy!

Part 1:

Sarah Tieck, guest blogger

My Toyota Corolla’s fuel gauge says there is a quarter tank of gas left. Noticing that, I added a stop at the gas station to my list of errands. Simple as that. There was no agonizing about if I should stop for gas or where. No cursing that I have to monitor my car’s fuel and maintenance needs. No weeping because my tank has gotten low. There is no question. I will stop and refuel — if I don’t, in time the car won’t work.

Lately I’ve been running on fumes. No, I don’t have a magical gauge, but I knew. All I needed to do was look around. There were pizza and take-out boxes in the garbage can, dishes in the sink, four timesheets where I’d logged into work well after my official start time, and a general feeling of being stuck with no clear steps forward on several projects.

As a creative person who has been steadily working and meeting deadlines, but rarely taking time to replenish and refuel after these journeys, my tank is low low low. And, I’m having to stop more often to refuel — sort of like those times when you only fill up partially at the gas station. In order to create, to do good work, and to savor my life, I’m having to learn how to fuel up. Interesting that the theme I’ve chosen for this year is nourish.

Celebration is a form of nourishment. Many people wait for completion to do this — and even then, barely stop to acknowledge what has been completed and put away supplies and papers. Little do we realize that little celebrations — nourishment — along the way are important fuel to keeping moving with big goals … sort of like fueling your car on a long trip.

To refuel by celebrating, you don’t need to do anything huge. You simply need to find a way to pause and take some time for an experience that will strengthen and energize you. That gives you ideas and images to draw from and fuel your work. It honors what you’ve done. Those important baby steps.

So, when you feel like you could keep going … stopping to play, to workout, to connect, to savor can all be forms of nourishment that will add  fuel to your tank. Things like workouts and fun offer a big boost for a goal — they create movement, energy, and excitement. And, that transfers. That candy bar and diet soda? As temporary as a jump for a dead battery.

Last week, I nourished a writing deadline with a bike ride and some geocaching with my husband. We played in the woods and the next day, I finished the book I was writing. When I take time to fill myself up like this — even when it seems counterintuitive — the things I want (and need) to do are easier! That weekend, I spent some time relaxing on the couch, saw Letters to Juliet, had an evening out with some friends who make me smile. You know what? Even though I rested and filled up first, the dishes and vacuuming and errands got done. And, that Monday morning, I returned to work with a tank full of fuel — as well as the fuel of my vision of what I want to create — to help me move forward.

Part 2:

Sarah DeWeerdt, Guest blogger

When Sarah likened needing to stop and replenish one’s energy to filling up the gas tank of a car, my immediate impulse was to wish I were a Prius. Imagine: speeding down the road in productive, virtuous near-silence, able to travel twice as far between fill-ups as all those other jalopies.

But the truth is, if I were a Prius, I’d just wish I were a hydrogen fuel cell vehicle. And if I were a hydrogen fuel cell vehicle, I’d wish I were…some kind of zero-emissions flying car thingy that hasn’t even been invented yet.

I’m hardly ever satisfied with the distance I’ve traveled. But maybe slowing down and refueling is actually part of the excitement. I mean, if I didn’t have to stop for a fill-up, I wouldn’t have the opportunity to notice the precise latitude where gas station convenience stores stop selling Dr. Pepper and start selling Mr. Pibb. I wouldn’t get to chuckle over those crazy souvenir snow globes filled with dinosaur teeth. I’d miss seeing, while paying for my gas, that family walk into the store straight from the pages of a Flannery O’Connor short story.

For me, this need to go faster and farther without stopping, ignoring the lurid red “E” on the dashboard, doesn’t just pose a problem when I’m trying to clear clutter and organize—it’s actually the source of my clutter. That is, there are so many interesting and amazing things in the world that I’m tempted to hold on to every interesting newspaper clipping, each scrap of vintage lace, out of the conviction that I’ll do something with it someday.

But I won’t. Because the body is a vehicle that craves rest, and one that can only travel so far. That’s been one of the most surprising and unsettling lessons of Jen’s class so far: confronting my clutter is, in effect, confronting my own mortality.

That epiphany isn’t a wholly gloomy one, though. With practice, I’m starting to recognize the difference between things that are merely interesting and things that make my brain light up with neurons firing in a thousand directions. (I swear it’s a literal scalp-tingling sensation.) I’m letting go of the former category so that I’ll have more attention for the latter. So that next time I pull off the highway into that gas station, I’ll be able to chuckle at that snow globe and leave it on the shelf, and fix the precise image of that Southern gothic family in my mind, because they are going to make one hell of a poem or painting later. Just you wait and see.

Sarah Tieck has authored more than 36 nonfiction books for children and teaches writing classes at the Loft Literary Center in Minneapolis. Her articles and essays appear regularly in home and garden magazines, lifestyle magazines, and major daily newspapers such as the Star Tribune and the Chicago Tribune. Contact her at her Web site, www.sarahtieck.com.

Sarah DeWeerdt is a freelance writer and editor in Seattle, Washington. Read her science writing via sarahdeweerdt.blogspot.com and her recipes at smalltastes.blogspot.com.

Can you relate? Share your thoughts in the comments section below!

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The title of this post was a tweet sent by @momcoach, Karen Bierdeman, owner of The Guilt-Free Mom. Thanks, Karen!

It’s a perfect question for busy entrepreneurs, too.

Here’s what I do when I’m having a bad day:

Connect.

This is a nice way of saying, “vent”. I prefer to call it problem analysis, but the intention is to reach out to another human being to share what’s bothering me. A little empathy goes a long way.

Unplug.

If I’m having a bad day and I’m not productive as a result, I take a good look at the calendar and take off the rest of the day — away from the computer.

Zone out.

That might mean I play Wii, eat chocolate, read, journal, pet the cats… or do some activity that helps me self-nourish and fill up the energetic stores.

Reflect.

Sometimes I have a bad day because I’ve been doing too much and need to retreat. So I ask myself, “Where is this coming from? What do you need?” Those few moments of reflection can make a big difference if I act on my discoveries.

What do YOU do when you’re having a bad day that you wish were over?

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How thinking gets you into trouble – and gets you out of it, too.

************************************

Sometimes it’s not the clutter.

Sometimes it’s what we think that causes the most trouble.

Imagine sitting down at your computer to check your email and, when you open the inbox, the number total unopened emails is in the 4-digits.

You look at that number glowing on your screen and quietly think to yourelf,

“I’m so behind. I’m never going to catch up.”

That little comment to yourself is so quiet that you hardly even notice it. Even if you do, it’s so quick, it barely registers before you’re on to the next thing.

Looking deeper

The effect that thought has on you is immense. Deep in your brain, that thought triggers a response to a threat. Your body begins to prepare for battle or flight – skin begins to sweat, heart rate increases, adrenaline is released to give you the power to run.

Most of the time, you have no idea it’s even happening. Your brain is on auto-pilot.

The problem is that you can’t put this response to good use. You can’t punch your inbox’s lights out. And, faced with 1000 emails, you probably won’t take flight and run screaming down the hall. All the body triggers are out of alignment with the actual stimulus.

Overload

Worst of all, if you’re like a lot of stressed-out, busy people, you’re constantly thinking these kinds of thoughts:

I’m so behind.
I should have this done by now.
I promised I’d have this back to her.
My client is showing up any minute.
I’m never going to get caught up.
I’ll never break through.
I forgot that AGAIN!?
I should be doing way more than I am.

Say these kinds of things to yourself enough times and you’ll feel like you’re always running and always fighting for some peace.

Case in point

If you’ve ever had the illusion that Jen Hofmann has it all figured out, think again. A couple of months ago I started having heart fluttering and chest pain – accompanied by pretty awful digestive problems. I had no idea what was going on and I was really scared.

Interestingly, right before the symptoms started, I had been thinking about how January was (in my mind) “a wash” and I kept telling myself, “I wasted a whole month. I should have been doing more to grow my business.”

I was talking myself into a mental frenzy – for what? January was fine.

When the symptoms started, I failed to see what a compassionate physician did: I was stressed to the point of anxiety. All because of my thoughts.

Stress isn’t a baseline state

When it comes to surviving en encounter with an angry mastodon, stress is a lifesaver. But when your opponent is your inbox or your kitchen counter or the vacuum cleaner, that level of stress is out of alignment. We all do it, but it really does us harm. Ask any cardiac expert.

Thoughts are an inside job

Lots of people jump to the conclusion that if the inbox is causing you stress, the solution is to clean it out. I say, woah there. Not so fast.

Instead, I invite you on a journey of far greater subtlety:

1. Practice noticing your thoughts.

Like a lot of people, if you can’t see something, it doesn’t exist. Inspired Spouse suggested yesterday that I start keeping a list of the thoughts that come up for me. What a fabulous idea. I’m keeping a running list for the next week, just to see what’s there.

Neutrally observing your beliefs is freeing in a way that a desperately clean desk isn’t.

2. See your thoughts as visitors, not guests.

Instead of opening the door and willy-nilly letting in any thought, ask yourself if you want what they’re selling.

Just because a Girl Scout rings the bell, doesn’t mean she can move into the guest room. Just because you think you’re behind, doesn’t mean that belief needs to move in and run your life.

When you start seeing your thoughts as visitors, you’re actively loosening the hold they have on your spirit – not to mention your autonomic nervous system. You get to decide what stays and what goes – which is empowering.

3. Gently start sending your thoughts away.

In other words, when you notice a thought, don’t cause more damage by telling yourself, “Dummy! Why are you thinking that again?”

Be gentle.

Notice if there are thoughts you want to release because they’re not really true. If you’re feeling behind, behind compared to what? What if it were okay to be exactly where you are right now, even if it’s not where you wanted to be?

The key is to begin to cultivate gentleness toward yourself.

The thoughts inside your head are sometimes harsh and cruel – and you can’t thrive in an environment like that. When you put your spirit in front of the line, the thoughts may still come up but they won’t run your life. It might be a long journey to get to that place, but just think of the possibilities.

Thoughts? Yeah, buts? Me toos?

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We talk about debt around here. It’s safe.

When I first mentioned my credit card debt last summer, tons of people commented with relief, “So it’s not just me who’s working on this!” I still can’t believe that I shared my total number, but I’m going to do it again. And also a cool tool you might want to try.

My numbers, today:

Total: $28,621 (down $1,784 since last August!)
Card 1 9.9%: 4,712 (down $679)
Card 2a 2.9%: 1,420 (down $633)
Card 2b 34.9%: 2,522 (down $56)
Card 3 23.9%: 14,467 (down $416)
(Update: Bank of M&D Loan 0%: $5500)

The bad news:

Out of the $4,800 I’ve actually paid to these companies over the last 5 months, only a fraction of that amount went towards paying down principal.

But it wasn’t just the interest rate that got me. I take responsibility for the 2 late-fee payments because my bill-paying system isn’t working effectively enough. And the increased APR on Card 3 as a result of one of those late payments. It’s ouchie, yes. I had some big emotions about it (mad, sad, giving up, etc.). But there it is. Those slip-ups cost me cash.

The good news:

Gosh, it feels good to be in the 20’s – and out of the 30’s!

The plan: Even with the setbacks, I’m on track. My plan is working: pay a set amount every month that exceeds the minimum payment. I won’t bore you with the intricacies of that plan, but in short, I’m paying as much as possible on the highest APR accounts first. And this highest % happens to be the lowest balance, so I’ll be excited to get that one outta here!

New laws: On February 18th, the new credit card legislation goes into effect (CCARD details) and the payments I make to Card 2 (which has 2 different interest rates) will start going to the higher interest account, not the lower. Thank you muchly, Pres. Obama, Congress and Senate! That will put more of my money toward paying them off.

Cool tool: The cool tool I found is a credit card pay-off calculator. According to this tool from CNN Money, it will take me 3 years and 3 months to eliminate my debt if I keep paying the same amount ($800/month). And only about 25% of that will be interest. What, you might wonder, would it be if I only pay the minimum balance? A nice, round 30 years to pay it all off – and about 75% of that would go toward interest.

If that’s not an incentive, I don’t know what is.

Do you wonder how long it will take you? Get out your most recent statements and fill out the online debt calculator (completely anonymous).

Share if you like – what are your most recent successes toward getting out of debt?

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If you want organizing that sticks around, one of the most effective, compassionate things you can do is make small tweaks to the systems you already have. Tiny ones.

Today, I’m inviting smARTists and regular readers to share:

What’s one tweak you’d like to experiment with that would help you feel more focused or organized?

And if you’re in the smARTist program this week, you’re also welcome to share something from my presentation that you’re planning to try out.

Why are you asking this?

It is so powerful to state an intention out loud and to have respectful, encouraging witnesses. By creating a place to witness your tweaky intention, you have a better chance of making it happen.

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Hi there. It’s been a few weeks since I posted last and I wanted to assure you that I’m back. I hope you had a terrific break that involved considerable relaxation, connection and quiet.

My break was great. It wasn’t perfect, occasionally disappointing and even annoying at times. But over all, it was 17 whole days to focus on the big picture, on my heart, and on my loved ones. It couldn’t help but be full and good. You were definitely in my thoughts.

Although I’m not a fan of resolutions, several useful intentions came out of my time away. It might very well be a “big” year for Inspired Home Office if some of these intentions become reality. If you’re still thinking about what 2010 might hold for you, I offer these areas of focus for your consideration.

5 areas of focus for 2010

1. Hand over more stuff to the Divine. (Worry less.)

Maybe you can relate: if something isn’t quite right, I tend to worry it to a fuzzled nub. Obsessively. Day and night. This habit frays my nerves and splashes icko-energy on anyone within a 15-foot radius.

When you’re running a small business, delegation is an effective strategy at making the best use of your skills. So I’m delegating my worry to someone/thing that has more skill at dealing with problems than I: the Divine.

I’m beginning what may become a daily practice of writing a to-do list for God. I don’t really know if the things I write will get done, but I’ve got 36 years of worry that has proven completely ineffective. So, it’s a new experiment for me: delegating worry. I’m handing it off to the most skilled.

2. Take more time off.

My two recent retreat experiences have been so positive that, this year, I’m planning to go on a 4-day retreat every quarter as well as overnight once each month – retreats away from home for rest and contemplation. So much is gained from putting life on “pause” and coming back to it renewed.

I’m also planning to spend one week each month focused on the growth and operations of my business. Instead of focusing outward, I’ll focus on the creative projects I’ve put off because “there’s no time.” I’m setting it aside. I’ll be talking about this more in a future post. It feels pretty radical.

3. Do things slowly.

Recently, some researchers found that when participants chewed an almond 40 times before swallowing, they reported feeling fuller and more satisfied with fewer almonds. That’s like, 20 seconds of chewing. Per almond. I could down a bowl of mac ‘n’ cheeze that fast.

The part of the research that really intrigued me was the second part. With all my heart and soul, I want to report feeling fuller and more satisfied from consuming less. I don’t mean just food, either. I mean everything.

I’ve thought a lot about slow. It doesn’t mean pokey. It means present. I’m giving slow a whirl this year because going fast and speeding through everything with half a brain cell just isn’t feeding me or my spirit.

4. Say yes less.

And on that topic, I can only slow down if I am doing less. If I am less committed. If I am juggling 3 balls instead of 2 dozen.

My intention is to be conscious of all the things I’ve already said yes to wholeheartedly. It’s to honor that saying “no” to one thing means a big “yes” to something more important. It’s also to release the “why nots” and the “I guess sos”. Half-hearted acquiescence doesn’t make a life.

In the midst of saying yes less, it will be important to remember that it’s a practice, not a destination. Like many, I’ve over-committed all my life. There has been a pay-off, a reward for doing life this way. So it’s my intention to say less less, be willing to do it imperfectly, and learn from what the practice teaches me.

5. Bring more spirit into Inspired Home Office

In the coming year, you will continue to find comfort and insights on my blog, in my newsletter, in the social networking I do, and from the products and classes my business offers. The topic will continue to be about running your small business with creative order and sanity.

This year, look for an infusion of spirit and heart, a deepening of the reasons for creating order  that will help sustain you after initial enthusiasm wanes. It is my hope that this year’s offers from my business help your business grow and your life become simpler and more fulfilling.

Thoughts? Yeah, buts? Me, toos?

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Okay, literalists, it is technically still November. But December’s tomorrow.

I’m curious. How are doing?

Are you:

• a. What? December’s here?
• b. I’m still recovering from Thanksgiving last week, thankyouvurrymuch.
• c. Hanging on to my hat and praying that Christmas break gets here soon.
• d. No time to reflect on this. Too busy. I should be doing something else right now.
• e. Pretty good – not too stressed – thanks for asking.
• f. Other (fill in blank): _______________________________

I’ll start.

Personally, my Thanksgiving holiday was pretty restful (plus I got to hang out with Sharon, Theresa, and Tim.) and I’m feeling more grounded than I have in a while.

I’ve also made that age-old mistake of booking myself solid the first few days “back”. (Note to self: Um, could you please not do that?) Like today. But I’m managing. And breathing.

So, December’s tomorrow. How are you?

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Money woes are rampant these days and everyone I know is doing circus-quality juggling of work, life, kids, family, and precious little self-care time. Overwhelm reigns.

In the midst of our collective stress, pausing mid-week for “thanks” rings false. Just ick. Like a syrupy-sweet greeting card complete with fuzzy-focused hearth fire and cornucopia nearby.

If being thankful feels forced to you right now, it’s okay. You’re not alone. In fact, you’ve got lots and lots of company.

Gratitude logjam

When you get stuck, even with something like gratitude, one of the best things you can do is start small. Like, really small.

For example, here are some of the small things I’m grateful for:

• A headset that actually works (Plantronics, if you’re wondering)
• Running water
• The big bag of string cheese in the fridge
• Gmail
• Sweatpants
• allrecipes.com
• The trash hauler who works our stretch of rural highway

I could have listed bigger things, but these are what feel true today, right now. Locating a small amount of gratitude within you is like finding a vein of gold in the earth – it runs deep. But you don’t have to *start* deep. Just start where you are.

If you say, “I’m so overwhelmed right now, I don’t feel grateful for anything. Just my lungs.” That’s okay. In fact, it’s perfect. Just start with that.

The thing about gratitude.

Most people experience gratitude as effortful – as something you “should” feel. Something you must pull out of yourself. Forcing thanks feels like cold extruded plastic instead of a comforting cotton-silk blend.

Honest, genuine gratitude nourishes your heart. It gives you energy, rather than extracting it from you.

Instead of forcing yourself to feel grateful, I invite you to consider starting where you are.

Is there a small thing you feel grateful for today (even if you think it’s something not worth mentioning)?

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