(c) Marmalade Moon, used with permission

When two different clients twice mentioned Kate England’s work over at Marmalade Moon, I had to check it out. I mean, just the name sounded delicious!

Kate is a visual artist and designer who (among other things) creates icons that make desktop organizing easier. They’re appealing to the eye. I confess I haven’t tried these yet, but the idea of color-coded folders on my computer desktop sounds amazing. Lots of creative people think in color, not words — so it’s worth taking a look.

Kate even offers a whole line of free folder icons, which if you’re tempted by the idea they would allow you to play with this concept (and try it out) without spending a dime. I’m going to give them a whirl the next time I organize my desktop.

Best of all? Kate provides instructions how to set up and use these icons on your own desktop, step-by-step. They work for PC and Mac.

Thoughts? Me-toos? If you have used these, what do you think?

This has been a week in which my best intentions were thwarted, and I received feedback from a couple of trustworthy sources that I wasn’t “on my game.” Email was part of it, but I also gave out the wrong time for a class, failed to prepare properly for a meeting, and spent too much time working on stuff that wasn’t all that important.

Stressful? You bet.

My high standards are where the problem started. When I made my first flub of the week, the little Gremlin of Self-Judgment perched on my shoulder and whispered some not-very-nice things about me.

When I made my second flub, the whisper became a stern repartee.

It only got worse from there. I mean, seriously! I was counting my errors! By the end of the week, I was buried in self-judgment, exhausted, and feeling rather insecure about my competence as a business owner.

Thank God I’m normal.

If people I admire didn’t tell me they have weeks just like this, I would be really scared. But I know it’s normal.

If anything, making a few gaffes this week illustrates how far I’ve come as a cluttered creative person. I used to forget things daily. I was constantly late, making excuses and tearfully begging forgiveness. My teachers never knew how to grade me at the end of a semester because (although I participated enthusiastically in class) I’d never turned in any homework.

I have come a long way.

What trips me up

When I start forgetting things, I use it against myself. As evidence.

That nasty gremlin is out to prove that I’ll always be that disorganized girl. It says, “You think you’re so organized, we’ll just see, shall we?!”

And then I make another mistake. “See?? Ha! Ha! You ARE the same person you’ve always been! You’ll never be organized!” And then I make even more mistakes.

Ugh.

Ever been there? It totally sucks.

What I do (and maybe you might like to try too)

The other day, I had a nice talk with my wonderful, sensitive uncle and friend — who also happens to facilitate non-violent communication (NVC) groups. Uncle Tim caught me off guard when he used a term I’d never heard before, “self-empathy”. When he said it, little bells rang gleefully inside my heart.

Self-empathy!

I don’t know how the official NVC technique works, but yesterday when I “caught” myself making a mistake and entertaining that nasty gremlin, I took a deep breath — and this is what I said to myself:

“Jen, you are having a hard week. You’re feeling badly about not showing up the way you want to with people you really love. You’re feeling really embarrassed for missing connections and for giving incorrect information. It’s okay to feel sad and embarrassed and disappointed.

“You’re human. It’s okay to make mistakes and not to be perfect. You are doing the best you can right now. I want to remind you that your heart is in the right place. Forgive yourself for making these ‘errors’. Don’t let your past determine your future, okay? You can start fresh, right now. You are a good human being and I love you.”

I wiped away a few tears, took a deep breath… and sat for a while with a nice cup of tea. It was such a different way of talking with myself, and I could feel peace settling into my heart, where doubt and anxiety had been.

Compassion is a powerful tool for creating order

What I am slowly discovering is that the more compassionate I am with myself, the more productive I am. It sounds anti-intuitive, but judgment makes my spirit shrivel up and escalates stress. When I am compassionate with myself, I feel free. I have choices and see opportunities to adjust my actions creatively.

Of course, this is about organizing, but it’s also more than that. The truth is, no amount of order creates happiness. Only you can create happiness. So, while you’re on the path to becoming more organized and less cluttered, why not offer yourself the compassion and self-empathy you crave — and so rightly deserve?

Thoughts? Yeah, buts? Me toos?

Please enjoy this sample narration from my brain last week while I was attempting to work on an Important Thing:

Argh! The cat’s licking is driving me crazy!! I wonder what’s on Twitter? (opens Twitter and reads a few entries)

I need to do that THING! Argh! Quit farting around! (closes Twitter) Okay, now work. (attempts to start the THING)

I wonder why those bees are hanging around outside my window… (ponders) What’s in my email inbox? (checks) Wait – what was I doing – oh! The THING!

Argh!

Two hours later, the THING was not done.

When I was a kid, it was the same scenario except I was supposed to be cleaning my room. I’d get distracted by some fascinating thing (shell collection, old books, etc.) in the attempt and my mom would speak from another room, “I don’t hear any cleaning going on in there.”

It used to drive my mom batty. Now it drives ME batty. If I had an employer, I’d have someone to keep me on task (maybe). But, like many, I am self-employed and sometimes get hopelessly off-track and can’t get back on.

Traction or distraction?

If I had traction, I would be moving forward with the THING. But in the scenario above, I was completely distracted and unable to focus.

If you have ADD or just think you do, maybe you can relate. We all have days like this. In fact, one of my favorite authors, Ned Hallowell, theorizes that even those without ADD may have the same behaviors when trying to juggle too many things.

If you get distracted like this periodically, it’s pretty normal. But, since it’s hardly a desirable place to be in very long, you might be wondering what to do about it?

Moving toward traction

Bouts of distraction happen. That’s just how it is.

Everyone has different symptoms when they’re feeling distracted, but the outcome is usually the same: you’re busy, but your work’s not purposeful.

Since I really believe it’s your office’s job to support you, sometimes making small adjustments to your space can help you feel less distracted so you can focus better.

Notice

Small adjustments come from the little things you notice around you. Be curious for a moment about what’s distracting you. On the crazy day I described above the sun’s glare was bothering me. I noticed the cat’s repetitious grooming. I looked around me and saw multiple open project folders were vying for my attention.

All of the things you notice are great information.

Adjust accordingly

Once you realize what’s pulling you off-track, take a couple of minutes to manage your experience. Remove the attention-grabbers. Your sanity is worth it.

For myself, I closed the blinds to keep the glare out of my eyes, I moved the cat off my lap, I put a project away that was messing up my desk, and closed the other blinds because the sun moved (well, technically, the earth moved).

Anyway, managing my experience helped me concentrate enough to start the THING.

Except when that doesn’t work

I tried to start the THING and got distracted. Again.

And then I humbly realized: I can’t bend focus to my will. Concentration can only be managed. Even in the clearest, most refreshing spaces sometimes people still can’t concentrate.

When focus is an Inside Job

When adjusting your external space doesn’t work, it’s time to look inside yourself and find out what is really happening. It’s what I call an Inside Job.

If your brain is zipping along at breakneck speed – while you’re compulsively checking email, Facebook, Twitter, and photos of your dogs all at the same time – it’s a symptom.

Sometimes you need a break. Or a glass of water. Or a 2-week vacation. No matter which way you slice it, your brain needs to be allowed to run free.

A desk can drag you down

Once upon a time, people moved around. They walked places, moved their bodies for work, rode animals, collected their own food. Frankly, it wasn’t that long ago.

Today, I know a lot of people who, for work, sit at desks for a large portion of the day. Me, for one. Now, that’s not such a bad thing. If not for the internet, Inspired Home Office wouldn’t exist.

But for many people that natural, vital movement is gone.

What to do about it

That compulsive internet checking is an attempt to meet the need for movement, except that it doesn’t work very well.

If you beat yourself up because you can’t concentrate, take a fresh look at what’s happening.

Robert Fritz, another of my very favorite authors, believes that taking breaks is vital to creativity. Who hasn’t gotten a good idea in the shower? Or out walking?

If you’re not productive and feeling antsy, move. That’s right. Get on up and get away from your desk. Do something you like. You’ll be surprised what good it’ll do you – and how much better you’ll concentrate when you get back.

Perhaps it’s just one of those messages from the Universe, but I have had almost the same exact conversation with three clients in the last week.

That usually means one of two things: 1. there’s a lesson I need to learn myself or 2. it means it’s time to write a newsletter about it. It’s ususally both.

So here’s the scenario:

You’ve got something you’re working on. The deadline isn’t tomorrow, but it’s coming up. You’ve been procrastinating doing it for a while and you know it’s time to crack down and get it done.

So you sit down at your computer to get it done, but first you check your email. Then you check the weather. Then you check email again. You know where I’m going with this, right? The Thing doesn’t never get done. (Yes, you heard me right with my double negative.)

The creative process can’t be forced.

Have you ever asked someone who speaks a foreign language to “say something” in that language? You know what happens: they blank. They look around in the sky for inspiration to strike, but they’re on the spot and nothing comes out.

The same thing happens when you’re trying to create by force.

Most people hold the mistaken belief that creativity means producing something. They look at a piece of artwork or hear a song and think: “they’re so creative.”

Creativity actually comes before production.

I know this is abstract, but hang in there with me.

Have you ever been struck by an idea so brilliant and so exciting, you can’t wait to create it? What were you doing when it occurred? A lot of the time, these flashes of inspiration come while you’re in lah-lah land, zoning out, doing mundane stuff.

Have you ever noticed that they don’t come when you’re under the gun, straining, slumped over the computer like Quasimodo? Nothing happens then, does it. There’s a reason for this: creativity needs space.

But we don’t give it space. We try to force it. We push, thinking: “I’ve GOT to get this done.”  All that email and weather-checking is an attempt to buy you time. Your brain has other ideas.

The positive side of procrastination

Procrastination has a positive intention: to give your brain the space it needs to rest, regroup, and pop out another brilliant, twinkly idea.

When you force productivity, it backfires. Things that “should” be simple, take forever. Talk about frustrating.

How to get space to work for you

I was talking to a client recently who cracked her own code. She noticed that every time she was pushing herself, her body was in a certain posture and she felt a specific emotion.

One day, she decided to do something about it (I’m so proud): she took a break.

She discovered that taking a break, walking away, wiping down counters in the kitchen, somehow that was enough. When she went back to work, The Thing was easy.

What are you forcing?

Me? Well, I have an incredible, exciting program I’ll be sharing with you… Sometime soon. But I’m sitting on my hands right now. I realized this week that it needs to percolate longer because trying to force it out by September 1st wasn’t working.

If you’ve been putting off a project or trying to get something accomplished, you hereby have my permission to stop. Better yet, give yourself permission.

Things to try

1. Ask yourself what you’re needing. What do you really need? Is it a glass of water? A stroll by a river? To drive 75 mph blaring old Bruce Springsteen tunes? Whatever it is…

2. Do it. You’ll be glad you did.

3. Come back to the project later. When you come back, you’ll be nourished by the space and have renewed energy. Give it a whirl and let me know how it goes (I’ll keep you posted on my project, too).

Even though I’m pretty savvy with computers, I needed to get this idea on paper. BIG paper. I wanted to scribble and draw and use my whole body in the creative idea-generating process. I was so jazzed.

Then I looked around my office and crud! - there was nothing to write on!

Lemons into lemonade

So, I got out an old roll of wrapping paper and taped it to the wall, white-side out.  Tentative at first, I scratched out the basic idea and then excitedly filled in the gaps with broad, colorful strokes. It was great! It was huge!

This was the first step I took in getting my business, Inspired Home Office, off the ground. That wrapping paper stayed up for the first 6 months of my business’ life, serving as a guide. A visual reminder. A map.

When I stopped needing it, I took it down, rolled it back up and used it for holiday presents (talk about recycling!).

If you can see it, you can do it.

Have you ever had the urge to plan a big project, but got stuck?

Anytime you’re planning something big and involved, you need three things:

• A clear, invigorating idea of where you want to go
• Specific steps to get you there
• A way of reminding yourself what’s next and tracking what you’ve completed

Personalizing what you need

With these 3 things as your guide, you can plan and execute a project any way you like. How would you like to track your big projects?

Here are 3 tracking variations I’ve seen – and the basic elements that each one entails. Which one sounds most like you?

Neat and tidy

• Big picture plans turned into into specific, measurable goals
• Breaking goals down into steps
• Put all of the steps in your system with timelines
• Follow up at the end and evaluate

Big and messy

• Huge wall charts on butcher paper with markers
• Dry erase boards, cork boards, and lots of stickies
• Ideas represented by colors, symbols, and shapes
• Oversize calendars with important dates circled

A combination of both

• A map or mindmap that’s broken down into smaller steps
• Aspects of the neat and the messy, tidy and big mixed together
• Systems that blend your creative mind and your planning mind

Reflect and listen

Do any of these 3 descriptions sound like you – or how you’d like to be? Have you attempted some of these, but feel disappointed with either the lack of clarity or results?

If your projects feel haphazard at best or remain incomplete for long periods of time, ask yourself:

What do I need that would help me love staying on track?

Listen deeply and you’ll be surprised by the ideas that come to you.

Although sometimes we lose sight of this truth, you are also part of nature.

Are you fighting nature?

Many business models encourage perpetual productivity. But because our creativity is part of the natural cycle, there must be a time for replenishment, too.

Wintertime is as vital to the life of a plant as the glorious blooms of springtime and the fruits of summer and fall. So it is also with you. And your business.

Creativity takes time

Now, I’m not advocating that you close up shop tomorrow to return sometime in March.

But have you ever walked away from a project that’s been challenging you – to walk the dog, or take a shower, or pick up some eggs from the store and – BAM! The answer you were seeking appears, seemingly from nowhere?

That’s because you gave yourself some winter-time, some space for your brain to rest… and meanwhile the ideas are gestating inside, waiting to bloom.

How to make it hard on yourself

If you stay at your desk, glued to the monitor, trying to get… it… right… Nothing comes.

By forcing yourself to produce when it’s not yet time, you do damage to yourself. You stilt true progress and growth.

Perpetual productivity is painful

So why do you do this? Well, sometimes you need to “get the job done.” But oftentimes, the underlying factor is that the spring blossom and the summer fruit feel good.

You get a high from results. Another checkmark – but at what cost?

The Inspired Home Office 80/20 Rule

80% of creating and productivity is internal and 20% is external, visible work.

This doesn’t mean you need to sit at your desk, twiddling your thumbs for weeks on end. It just means that when you feel the urge to stop (writing, working on a project, whatever), you can trust that it really is time to stop.

And once you’ve stopped, you can choose to do something will nourish your heart and your mind. This will allow the next step will unfold naturally and organically.

Just like daffodils do.

How to work naturally

1. Notice when you force

Do you set up your schedule in a way that forces you to produce, without leaving time for contemplation or rest?

Do you commit to deadlines that seem reasonable, but really aren’t?

Do you notice feeling resentful for intrusions or extra demands on your time?

What choices do you make that contribute to these dymanics?

2. Listen to your inner knowing

While you’re working, listen for a tiny voice inside you that whispers, “I need a break now.” or “Stop.” This is your inner knowing.

It won’t roar, so be alert.

3. Do what the voice says

No, this isn’t a reference to that “I do what the voices in my head tell me to do” bumper sticker.

When you hear that tiny voice, take heed. Really.

You may come to find that the breaks you give yourself take less time than needlessly banging your head against the wall in frustration.

No matter what you do, a daffodil will take as long as it does to go from bulb to blossom. And so it is with you, too.

There it is again… that thing you’ve been avoiding. You know… that thing right over there. Just looking at it fills you with anxiety.

Truth is, it’s just a task you need to accomplish. An email to return, a bill to pay, a receipt to file. But there it is, undone.

And if you’re like a lot of people, noticing its un-done-ness causes you to do a number on yourself.

“What’s wrong with you?!” you say inside your head. “You still haven’t gotten to that yet!?”

Perhaps you resort to name calling: “Grrr! You idiot!” (or worse).

Or maybe your inner dialog throws out a doozy like: “You’re never going to succeed if you don’t get this stuff done.”

No matter what you say or how you say it, this kind of self-talk has horrible consequences on you and your business. You end up feeling guilt, frustration, dread, panic, depression, self-doubt, and self-loathing.

Believe me, I’ve been there.

And, ironically, it’s all in the name of a task that needs to be done. Sheesh.    

The gift of negative self-talk

The good news is that this habit has a positive intention: it wants you to take action. (And this is probably the result you want too, right?)

My mentor and friend, Mark Silver, says that the only way to get the toothpaste out of the tube is to squeeze.

And chastising is just one way to pressure yourself into taking action. While it’s usually effective, the long-term consequences might make you desire some gentler alternatives.

Imagine for a moment a healthy squeeze: a way to create motivation that involves talking to yourself in a supportive way.    

Things to try

Here’s are three steps that can get the job done - while sparing you the stresses of negative self-talk:  

1. Notice

When the time comes that you notice a task undone, simply observe it as a neutral fact. “Oh, looky here – it’s past the time to invoice my clients!”

If you notice negative thoughts coming up as you do this, gently tell your brain that you appreciate its concern and that you’ve got it covered. This shuts down the reptilian fight-or-flight response and allows you to get centered.

Remember, it’s just a task that needs to be completed. Its completeness isn’t ”good”, “bad”, or otherwise. Just neutral.

2. Identify your need

Ask yourself: what do I need in order to complete this task?   Do you need some quiet, uninterrupted time? Maybe you need a day to think on it. Or a chance to consult your calendar. Perhaps you need some assistance or connection with a person you trust.

If you listen intently, you will get an answer from within that give you clarity about the need you have.   Fulfilling this need will help and support you in completing the task.

3. Write it down

A couple of my clients are devoted Franklin Covey fans – this planner system not only organizes your calendar but also allows you to write a daily task list. (I’m a big fan of the task list and its friend, the checkmark.)   No matter what system of organizing you use, when you get clear about the need you have, write it down.

To clarify: Write the need down in a place that you will find it so that it can be completed.

The benefit of writing it down, especially in your calendar, is that you give yourself a reminder, a gentle nudge, to fulfill the need and complete the step.

Doing this will actually create the encouragement and support you need - and break the cycle of self-criticism.   

Bonus gifts

By eliminating negativity, you create a more supportive workspace and make yourself more emotionally available to your clients.

Imagine how your business and your creativity can flourish in this environment!

When you’re in the shower there are several factors that make it prime idea-generating territory:

For one, it’s quiet.

The hiss of water drones out all kinds of distractions. And the fact that steamy water is cascading over you is soooo relaxing. You can’t hear and you feel good. Nice.

Plus, your brain is switched to auto-pilot mode. Did you ever notice that you wash the same way every day? I mean, how often do you ask yourself, “Hmmm… Should I go for the left ear first or the right one?” You don’t process, you just soap up, get clean, and rinse off. All of this happens without much participation from the frontal lobe.

Lastly, provided that you don’t tolerate intruders, you are left completely uninterrupted for 10, sometimes 20, decadent minutes. With no interruptions from the phone, tv, radio, spouse, kids, dogs, it’s “all you, all the time.” Ahh! Because of this, your brain is free! It can roam freely over terrain it might not traverse otherwise.

What you get

While you’re washing, you might come up with things like:

• A plausible interpretation for a dream you had this morning
• The name of that woman you want to call
• Something you want to put in your will
• Pick up milk and broccoli while you’re out
• A new service that could generate income for your business

The bottom line is that, in the shower, all the conditions are right and your brain is having a field day. Some of the stuff that pops up has the potential, if put to use, to directly benefit you, your business, your clients, your financial status, and so on.

So take a moment to appreciate your grey matter and modern plumbing. What a team!

How to keep your ideas from going down the drain

If you’re like a lot of people, ideas must get written down so you can remember to follow up on them later.

But, practically speaking, it’s hard to record when you’re soaking wet. Do not bring your new iPhone into the tub.

The trick is to duplicate the uninterrupted time you get in the shower when you have a dry, accessible recording device handy.

One way to do this is to just take a pen and notepad into bathroom, lock the door behind you, and jot down your thoughts before you hop in to get clean. Or, you can do this immediately after the shower. No one will ever know.

Before your day begins, even just once a week, you can indulge in a decadent moment with a fancy journal, a fountain pen, and a cup of tea.   One of my clients thought she might try using kids’ bathtub crayons on the tile to record her ideas. Go wild! Whatever it takes to get the ideas recorded.

Whatever you do, commit to writing down your thoughts so you can put them to use. It doesn’t take much extra time and, when your brain knows you’re taking it seriously, it will reward you with even better, more plentiful ideas.

Your turn! What tricks do you use to capture your ideas on the fly? I’d love to hear from you!