The meditation corner in my office

After some planing and thinking, I listened to my heart’s longing for a sacred space I could sit and meditate and dream in. Beside this table is a chair to lounge in while I look out the window at the birds and trees.

Every single object has been lovingly chosen. Each one has a story. The pink candle was used at the 4-day retreat I led in February. The finger labyrinth I made with some cherished friends and I use it all the time. The orchid was a gift to myself for my recent birthday. When I sit in the space, I’m accompanied by those who love me.

I used to long for a space like this. Now that I have one, I feel supported in my spiritual journey in ways that weren’t possible before. Best of all, I can see it from my desk, so it’s always beckoning me away from the draw of the Internet.

Do you have a mediation corner?

If you are just dreaming of one, what does it look like in your mind’s eye?

If you have created one, how do you feel when you spend time in it and what have you placed there?

One comment

I’m sure I’ve said it countless times.

• Why did I do that?
• Why did I forget to pay that bill?
• Why did I leave that there, in such a ridiculous place that I forgot it?
• Why can’t I keep on top of my email?
• Why is it so hard to start my taxes?
• Why can’t I ever catch up?

Have you ever asked yourself a Why question?

When it comes to organizing, being inquisitive and curious is a really important strategy. But why is the wrong question to ask. Here’s why:

Why makes us defensive

Say, for example, your significant other enters the room, sees something you’re working on and asks, “Why did you do it like that?”

You respond, “Like what?” Your back is up and your dander is about to fluff. “What do you mean?”

Why sounds like judgment. Why insinuates that you had a million good options to choose from and you opted for the illogical and short-sighted one. No surprise — this makes people defensive.

When you say why in your own mind, the result is the same. Defensiveness goes up, creativity goes down (along with self-esteem). Instead of solving your organizing dilemma, now you just feel stuck.

Why encourages mental machinations

Here’s the other problem with why: we can’t really know why we do anything! Our behaviors are so ingrained that they defy logic. So when you’re asking yourself why, you end up attempting to justifying random choices that are hard to pin down.

“Why did you do that?”

“Well, beeeecaaaause… I’m kind of hungry and not thinking straight and… um… I don’t really like dealing with my tax stuff? And… um… yeah.”

Why sends you into mental spirals of justifying — when there’s really nothing to justify. You’re okay! You’re doing the best you can! All that energy you spend making up reasons for your behaviors is precious energy wasted.

Why  paralysis

The reason I get so concerned about the use of why  in organizing is this: when you’re dealing with chronic disorganization, defensiveness and self-justification make you more isolated and stuck, not less.

And that just breaks my heart. Disorganized people are already in so much pain and feel so isolated, I just hate to see it compounded in any way.

What to ask instead

The moment we ask why is actually a sacred moment in time. We ask it because we suddenly woke up and noticed something wasn’t working. That is pretty awesome. You woke up! Yay!

So, instead of letting why shut you down, ask this:

What do I need here?

Since you’re already in a moment of noticing something’s out of whack, ask yourself about what your needs are. What’s missing for you?

And then really listen for what comes up inside of you.

What do I need here?

I’m constantly astonished at the relief that comes up for people when they’re asked this question. Sometimes there’s a deep intake of breath, a pregnant pause, the sounds of thinking and deep feeling.

After sitting with the question a moment, people tell me things they didn’t realize they’d been holding back — like they really need a some time out of the office, a nap, someone to help with the struggle. Sometimes there are tears.

It’s a miracle moment because they break through and realize, “I have needs!” Sometimes there are huge insights that involve poster boards and vision collages and painting parties. Other insights are quieter like, “I can’t keep producing like this. I need to find time for my art.” or “I really need a better planner book for my ideas.”

Whatever your responses are, answering What do you need here? will always give you better results than why.

Try it out

Think about an organizing problem you’ve been struggling with lately. What’s happening?

What do you need here?

Notice what comes up for you when you ask.

Trust it. Follow it. Your organizing, your work, and even your life will be better for it.

7 comments

My word for the year

After choosing an inspiration word for 2012, I wrote it on a rock and placed it where I look every day — just under my monitor.

Having it there reminds me what I’m striving to create and staying opening to. Every day. It’s a tiny little altar for my intention.

Have you chosen a word for the year?

If you haven’t, there’s no reason why you can’t today. What do you want to create this year?

If you have chosen a word (or words) this year, how do you remind yourself of what they are?

3 comments

Introducing: Christine Weddle
Office Spa Day guest facilitator on April 21!

My Journey To Getting Organized

My problems with A.D.D. and disorganization began to cause me a huge amount of grief after my daughter was born, particularly after she started school.  The addition of tiny clothes and toys and the need to constantly get more clothes and toys for a growing child began to overwhelm me, especially because I wasn’t so good at letting go of the previous ones.  Then, she began producing artwork, followed by the papers and forms and certificates of school.  Add the details of competitive gymnastics (specialized clothing and accessories, signing up and paying for meets, knowing where to go and stay, fundraising, etc., and I was one overwhelmed mommy.  It’s stuff that lots of parents take in stride (and with multiple children), but not me.

I had waited to start my own business until she was in elementary school because I knew that I would be far too distracted to focus on it with her underfoot all day as a toddler or preschooler (who quit taking naps at 2½…).  So I added starting a business to the list of details I already had (without the structure or support I needed because of not having the money to do that).  I was dealing with a sharp learning curve for starting a business the same year that she began competitive gymnastics.  In retrospect, no wonder I was exhausted and had very little energy!

I bought books on time management and organizing and did my best to apply what I read.  I had a backlog of boxes dating back to grad school (yikes!), not to mention the ever-increasing papers from school, gymnastics and my business.  The organizing books were interesting and seemed like they might be helpful, but I needed a lot more than just information.

I finally signed up for an online, monthly, clutter-clearing coaching group, and I made some headway, but there was so much current and past stuff that my small successes didn’t create much momentum for me, partly because so much new stuff kept accumulating.  I had very few effective systems to deal with the incoming stuff, so it just got added to the rest of it.  I did manage to completely clear out my office a few times, in the hope of inspiring myself to sort through the backlog, but it was such a huge project that I became overwhelmed and eventually had to move all the boxes and baskets and piles from their temporary place in the living room back into my office.  Very demoralizing.

I finally got up the courage and humility to hire a professional organizer, who helped me generate some momentum and create some small changes here and there.  Working with her helped ease the way to hire a second one, with whom I worked more consistently for a time and made a bit more headway.  However, once she left, I was overwhelmed with the huge “to-do” lists she had given me.

I found Jen Hofmann through one of Mark Silver’s Heart of Business classes, and I remember reading the pages of her website over and over and over because I found such reassurance and hope in them.  I loved her gentle, reassuring yet take-action approach, which seemed so different.  I began to make real progress, very slowly, but more sustainably than in the past.  As I began to integrate that “Jen voice” in my head, my office (and my home) began to show the difference.

I’ve been working with Jen over a year now, and I am immensely grateful for the organizing love and perspective she offers.  One of my biggest successes is that my office wasn’t completely overtaken by Christmas boxes, etc. this year, as it has every year in the past.  In general, my office has stayed reasonably cleared out, which has allowed me to continue giving “my love and attention” to the last of the neglected areas, while beginning to develop systems to organize things in a way that makes sense to me.

It feels like my head is beginning to clear as my office does, which is gradually opening the way for me to give the running of my business “my love and attention.”

I am so grateful and excited about the opportunity to lead an Office Spa Day in April.  Jen has been an amazing mentor, and I have periodically dreamed about what it might be like to work with her in some way because we work with such similar people.  My dream comes true in April!

I also believe that “We teach best what we most need to learn.”  (Richard Bach, Illusions).  I love being in the role of teacher and learner simultaneously.  It creates such richness in working!

Jen here: I am delighted that Christine agreed to guest facilitate the Saturday Office Spa Day this month! In many ways Christine is more qualified to lead this class than I am!

Here are some of Christine’s career highlights:

• M.Ed. in Counseling Psychology (emphasis in group work) – University of Missouri
• B.A. in Psychology (minor in sociology) – University of Texas
• Life Coach and owner of Light Spirit Coaching since 2004, specializing in A.D.D. clients since 2007, and working with small business owners, professors, professionals, graduate and undergraduate students
• Counselor/Therapist for individual, group and family counseling in inpatient, outpatient and residential settings
• Presenter at Women’s Center at the University of Missouri, Kiwanis club, gymnastics’ club staff, hospital program, church, and high school students
• Youth Ministry Director, supervising, training and supporting teachers
• Parent of a 14-year-old (I have no kids, so this is especially awesome!)

In addition to all of Christine’s professional accomplishments, I have personally appreciated and admired her compassion and warmth in relating to my own struggles with ADD and disorganization. She is a gem.

Although I’ve done all the teaching at Inspired Home Office to date, I’m beyond elated to offer a Saturday class again with someone so kind and accomplished. Attend this Office Spa Day with Christine and you’ll be in good hands.

Here’s where to sign up: http://www.inspiredhomeoffice.com/products/spa-day

2 comments

This is the second of Denise’s guest posts on my blog. Enjoy!

You’ve got your physical body; you’ve got your emotional body. Imagine if your money energy has a body, or an energetic frame. How is that money energy body image doing right now? Let’s see how you might bless and strengthen it.

Once upon a time when I was twenty-nine, I left grad school with a Master’s degree (yay!) and 33 grand in debt (ugh). Even with the passing of time, some things never change. For example, I’m still twenty-nine. And, though my “healthy wealth status” has grown to a whole new level, I can still find both yay and ugh aspects to my finances and money energy.

It seems you often have – simultaneously – a bit of the yay and the ugh for any given situation. Let’s call it the Yay/Nay Factor. With your money scene, you’ll have places finances are growing and feeling strong. On the other hand, you’ll have places you’re feeling stretched, challenged – maybe even hopeless and discouraged.

One big spiritual key regards how you hold the energy as you grow and shift. You’re meditating and you start thinking lusty thoughts, or start working on the “to do” list. What is the quality of your refocusing – chastising, kind? It’s rare to turn monkey mind to monk mind permanently. But at any moment, you can catch up with that more conscious side of yourself, and say, Yo, Ahoy there matey. Pass the rum, will ya?

PHYSICAL BODY IMAGE, MONEY BODY IMAGE

With my training as a somatic (body-based) psychotherapist, I’ve seen that for women, body image tells volumes. You have beauty-filled physical qualities, and those … shall we say, less inspiring attributes. With your best and worst sides, what do you focus on? How, energetically speaking, do you hold the dichotomy, that edge-of-becoming-but-not-quite-there-yet gap? It may not be a Jekyll and Hyde contrast, but there can be quite a gap there.

I have a very clear memory of when I was finishing my one woman show and wearing a rather skimpy, colorful costume. A friend called me skinny (yep, she’s still on the payroll). I felt compelled to counter the compliment by pointing out my historical nemesis – my belly zone. Don’t you see this, my dear? How can I be skinny with this imperfect padding? Looking back, she was right – but perspective is so relative, and ever changing, eh?

ENTER THE MONEY BELLY (OR NOSE, THIGHS, BUTTSKI)

Your money energy body image (MEBI) holds the full picture of your wealth continuum – your money zone strengths and weaknesses, places of integrity, places that don’t make you as proud. You may be making great strides, yet only see your “money belly” so to speak, that challenging zone of your financial picture.

For me, the body image challenge zone is the belly. What is your metaphor for your MEBI challenge zone? It’s best to customize your unique approach to creating healthy wealth, IMHO. Here’s your chance. Are your money thighs or money butt a thorn in your side? Could even be a money nose I s’pose, huh.

You’ve probably heard that saying, what you focus on grows – a scary yet illuminating thought for money bellies/thighs/butts. Perhaps you’re taking on more debt or staying more unconscious with money than you’d like. Or you’re stretching but scared. When you do decide to wake up to the challenges – the Ahoy matey moment – how will you hold the energy?

Can you love your money belly/nose/thighs/butt? The big question is – when you wish to wake up inside the current money nightmare, do you scream Bad Girl/Ugly Money Belly! Or, do you, with compassionate eyes and a merciful heart say, “Ah, Welcome Back my Friend. Let’s breathe, and clear those sleep nuggets out of your eyes. You’re so much more than your money, you spiritual adventurer in disguise.”

SUGGESTIONS FOR BLESSING AND STRENGTHENING YOUR MEBI ™

Let’s play with this first on the physical level. Name the most and least lovely ends of your body image continuum. One side is your challenge zone and one side is your lovely zone. Good and cool.

Then, let’s name the most-and-least-lovely ends of your wealth continuum. Excellent. Now, merge the physical body image book ends and the MEBI book ends of the continuum. What teachings or clues do they offer to your situation?

For example, my healthy wealth continuum book ends: my “money belly” – being behind on my taxes. The sexy legs of my MEBI – courageously developing my soul work strength.

MEBI Leg notes: These legs are advancing, and are able to stretch and cover new ground. Damn money legs, you rock.

MEBI Belly clues:
Hmmm…The belly is a most vulnerable, tender area. To work with that, I might put my hands there and hold it with love. Might question the cultural close-minded – ness that labels this ugly and how I buy into that at times. And, hmmm, if I extend that energy to my pile of receipts, I might question that autopilot self criticism – being behind on taxes means I’m slacking. To the contrary, I’ve been otherwise well engaged. And there is time to handle this (soon, let’s hope).

Wow – after this, I might approach my taxes with a whole different belly sense, I mean energy.
What else can you tell me money belly, oh sturdy reservoir of em, wisdom in disguise?

Soul Savvy Bottom Line: Okay, this all might be a bit of a wacky stretch – that’s the Soul Savvy approach . How you hold the edges of your healthy wealth continuum can make a big difference to your success and happiness.

Denise Barnes, MA, LPC, BC-DMT has a mission to accelerate the planetary healing of money and business before we get kicked out of the solar system for integrity bankruptcy. She empowers soul-inspired creative professionals so they can express their genius, heal the world, and create a lushly sustainable income. To get the complimentary Healthy Wealth Game Changer kit, visit http://www.SoulBusinessSavvy.com.

Care to comment?

Brains and organizing have a lot in common. Both are systematic, both are creative, and both allow you to do things that would be challenging otherwise.

Your brain: totally unique and 8.7% similar

Thing is: all our brains are different. My wacky ADD brain is nothing like my Type-A friend’s brain or Inspired Spouse’s research-nerd brain or my artist friend’s wooooooowee! creative brain.

This is good. Brain diversity is a good thing. These differing strengths allowed early humans to support a tribe with varied needs. It would be horrible if all brains worked in exactly the same way. (Just think of the Borg.)

And while our brains are all unique, we exhibit certain characteristics that make us similar. Just look at a few personality and learning theories:

• 9 kinds of intelligence (Multiple Intelligence)
• 16 personality types (Myers-Briggs)
• 9 types (Enneagram)
• 12 sun signs (Zodiac)

Looking at just these four, we can say there’s an average of 11.5 different types of people-brains in the world.

Don’t be assimilated

The problem is that most organizing experts out there have one kind of brain: the systematic one. They get how organizing works intrinsically.

Maybe you’ve read some of these well-intentioned people. Their words are logical. Their organizing ideas are straightforward. Their techniques are totally rational. But the concepts don’t work or you can’t keep them going.

If this sounds familiar, you might think that something’s wrong with you. But there isn’t. You just have a different kind of brain than that expert does. In fact, there’s only a 8.7% chance that their system will work for your brain.

As a non-linear person, I have tried three different experts’ approaches to time management. I’ve read countless “get organized” magazine features. I own at least a dozen organizing books by American, British and Australian experts. Although I get some neato ideas, I’ve failed at following their organizing plans (despite my best efforts). And I mean flat-out failed.

Something didn’t click.

Where the click happens

Your own brain. Have you felt that? When something works, it clicks. The synapses fire and the system clicks because your brain is happy.

When you know how to access the resources of your own brain, organizing becomes an effective, creative activity. Satisfying. Joyful, even. And not nearly has hard as learning to apply someone else’s techniques.

How to create your own organizing connections

The shift looks like this:

“Oh, that expert is organized.  —>  I should try to copy them.”

to:

“Oh! I’m already organized inside my brain? Cool!  —>  Now I can use what I know about my brain to organize my space.”

If you’ve struggled with organizing in the past, it might seem unnerving to rely on yourself instead of the experts, but it’s quite effective.

Real-life examples:

One of my clients realized that she was a primarily visual person. Her brain was strongly influenced by visual data, images, and colors. When she became more aware of this, she started to keep her desktop clearer to minimize distractions and also integrated colors into her filing system. She was amazed at how much easier she could find things with these small brain-friendly changes.

Another client realized that she had certain tasks arise each month that were critical to complete. Her brain is pretty systematic and it really likes having her lists visible so she can check things off with a special pen. So she made a wall chart that listed each of them and now she checks things off as they get completed. Another happy brain!

In both cases, my clients became aware of a specific brain preference and integrated it into their organizing.

Can you see how different this is from reading an expert’s advice?

Why I’m a different kind of expert

Although I’m a professed organizing expert, I don’t give you organizing advice (hardly ever). Instead, I facilitate the process of discovering what your brain likes and integrating these discoveries into your organizing. In fact, I’m teaching a free class about this very topic next week.

I celebrate your unique brain! So can you!

So what next?

If you want to start befriending your brain,

• start by making a list of things you love to do and see what themes emerge
• take an online test for the personality/intelligence theories above and see where you land
• take part in the Organize Anything class I’m teaching next week (details here)

Ultimately, the more awareness you have, the more you can use it. Most of all, stop fighting your brain and start seeing it for the gift it is.

You’re amazing!

There is nothing wrong with you or how you organize. When you can integrate your brain’s strengths into your organizing, you won’t believe how much happier your brain is — and how much happier you are in work and in life!

2 comments

Enjoy this article from my biz heart ally, Denise Barnes from Soul Business Savvy!

Comics are skilled at injecting hilarity into sometimes difficult or depressing areas. One area that you don’t see as much joking is in the money zone. Maybe there is material to be found in the global or national debt crises, or the financial follies handed from one political administration to the next. But generally speaking, money isn’t as popular on the Last Comic Standing show.

I was reminded of this when talking with a past client last week. Luanne has come a long way with our work, but she will not “whitewash” the fact that this was NOT fun for her. Money is one of her spots, she says – it’s painful to deal with. Even with the levity I did at times bring to the work, I could not change the “crushing-ness” of facing their money woes. Our coaching may have made it “less miserable” – but it’s still far from a joy zone, or something that would make Luanne throw the covers off gleefully in the morning as she’s facing the day.

The big money pains for Luanne were, well big – a large debt load, less than conscious spending, and the toughest – bad money communication with her husband, the love of her life in all other areas. Yes, it really did suck at the time. I’m happy to report things are better, communication is fine, and they’ve been able to make some hard decisions which enabled huge momentum. And they now have weekly money meetings, an excellent practice for money and marriage.

While their money challenges haven’t disappeared completely, there’s been a massive perspective shift. Wouldn’t it be great if you can manage that perspective in the midst of money challenges? With any desired change you want to create, even a teensy shift of mind, and a baby step of action, can make a huge difference …

PERSPECTIVE IS EVERYTHING

Martial artists talk about their physical center of gravity being the tan tien, an area three fingers width below the belly button. This is the anchor of their power and strength as they practice and duel. Lose that center, and boof! They fall down and go boom.

In the martial art of making peace with money, your center of gravity is just as important. It’s so easy to get heavily “anchored” into the angst and the woes of money challenges. That “crushing-ness” Luanne speaks of is a big energy, and it’s hard to hold with balance. It’s hard to remember your truest center when money is too tight, and those worries are constantly rising.

Perhaps this is where the bigger spiritual picture can lend a hand. When you connect to spiritual reality, you can remember you are not ONLY this human having a bad money experience. Yes, you are certainly an apprentice in money martial arts land, getting exposed to all types of potential discipline and mind control training. You can take the course for metaphysical practices, as well as checkbook balancing. So many options!

In the bigger reality, we are spirits in a material world. What happens to your perspective when you look at your money scene with spiritually-wise eyes, or listen to the woes with your heart’s ears?

If these were money lemons in your lap, what would the lemonade recipe instructions be?

For Luanne, the yuck of last spring’s money work ended up being an opportunity to heal some past money baggage that had originated in both of their previous marriages. They can breathe a lot easier now that they are more aware of these patterns as they rise. Oh, it’s you! Get along now…

And for this great couple, money has become another life area that can be a healthy ingredient in their delicious intimacy – rather than something that causes stomach aches.

Soul Savvy Bottom Line:
No matter how negative your money situation feels, you can hold compassionate awareness for your situation. Remember the larger spiritual perspective, and wonder about the flavor of soul lemonade you are creating from your money martial arts training.

Denise Barnes mentors soul-inspired women business owners and creative professionals to transform money barriers so they breakthrough stagnating doubts, reignite their passion and accelerate the success of their world-changing work. For your Healthy Wealth Game Changer kit and more info, visit http://www.SoulBusinessSavvy.com.

Care to comment?

Where we’ve been — where we’re going

Inspired Home Office and I, we’ve been using a desk that’s been *fine* for the last two years. I put it together myself. It’s really fine. It’s big. It’s the right color. It’s just — something’s not right anymore.

I have this theory that as your business matures, your space grows grow along with it. The current desk cost me a hundred dollars to put together: two IKEA legs, a 2-drawer file cabinet and a closet door I bought at the Habitat ReStore.

It works. Did I mention that already? It works, but lately it feels cobbled together. Just like my business felt two years ago. They fit together back then, my cobbled-together business and matching desk. Two peas in a pod.

Before that, I used a scratched-up yard sale desk as my business home base. I bought it when all I has was $30 in cash in my pocket and I needed something, anything with drawers right now for my start-up. Compared to that desk, my current, right-height/right-color desk is a vast improvement.

Encountering resistance to making positive change

Today, it feels like Inspired Home Office is ready for her first pair of heels, her first work suit. My money-fear, my inherited potato-famine fearful side says, “But what if we can’t afford it?” What if what you really need is too expensive?” This voice shows up because it wants me to be cautious. It wants me to not stretch too much into unknown territory. If I get too good a desk, that might mean that the business will get too mature for me to handle. Scary. This voice wants me to be safe.

Go toward what you want

And yet, that’s exactly why I want a different, more me desk — so I can grow. Having a visual, tangible reminder of my dreams, well, that helps encourage movement. If I got a desk that wasn’t cobbled together and missing a leg, what would that tell the Universe about how seriously I take my business? What would this new, improved desk tell me every time I walk in here in the morning to work?

“I’m ready for more.” I’d be saying, “C’mon, business, let’s help a few more people this month that we did last month. Let’s give our clients even more support and encouragement. Let’s run like a business, not a hobby.”

Matching the outside with the inside

There’s nothing wrong with a desk that is good enough. This isn’t judgment on myself or on other businesses that aren’t at this place yet.

It’s also not a money-buys-happiness thing. It’s about consistency – Inspired Home Office has matured a lot in four years. We’re not a start-up anymore and it’s time for the space to match that.

Plus, I just keep thinking about it. When I keep thinking about something, I know it’s wise to pay attention. It means is that I’m ready to be less cobbled together. After four years in business, I’m ready to have my space more deeply reflect the competent, creative, loving professional that I’ve become.

Tolerate not knowing how it will turn out (it’s good for you)

That said, I have no idea what my new desk will look like — that’s what creating a vision is for.

So that’s my next step — dreaming up what I want it to look like. If you happen to use Pinterest, I’m creating an inspiration board to collect ideas. I can create a budget. I can pay more attention to the critical features I currently use that I’d want replicated in a future desk. I can make calls and do research. It could be months before I act, but that’s the creative process: 80% dreaming and 20% action. I just know I’m ready.

How about you?

Have you ever chosen a desk (or other furniture) as a way of marking a transition in your life or career? Feel free to share below!

7 comments

I’m observing Lent this year. 40 days of… deprivation. That’s what I used to think Lent was all about. During my junior year in college I gave up desserts — which was a challenging accomplishment when I had a full meal plan and walked by the dessert bar at every meal. I remember that giving up dessert was a trying experiment — mostly because I focused on how trying it was. I was constantly thinking about how much I wanted dessert.

Last year, I observed Lent and was encouraged by a spiritual guide to two things: relinquish something that separates you from Spirit and add something in that invites Spirit in. I warmed to this idea because the focus wasn’t on deprivation, but rather on releasing one thing to make space for something else.

In deciding what to release, I pondered what things in my life separate me from Love and from Spirit. I came up with things like eating junk food, “getting lost” on Facebook, reading bad news in the paper, thinking mean things about other drivers, you get the idea. Like most people, I do a lot of these things unconsciously — which is why I welcome the Lenten season, this opportunity to reflect.

After writing the list of “separating” activities, I chose one thing I wanted to stop doing for 40 days — eating junk food.  It wasn’t about losing weight, I was attempting to release something that’s  superficially comforting, but makes being open to Love much harder. I wanted to make space inside me for something better. Given what a “go to” comfort food is for me, this was admittedly a tough thing to give up.

What made it easier: deciding to focus on what I wanted, rather than on what I was giving up. I pondered: what’s a spiritually nourishing replacement for junk food? I giggled about Divine donuts and Spirit snacks. After brainstorming in earnest, I realized I want deep and lasting comfort, a contented feeling in my heart — the kind that comes from a long satisfying sigh or a soul-bearing conversation with a loved one. I realized, yes, that’s what I want instead of junk food.

Instead of deprivation, Lent became about creating moments of real connection, getting a full night’s sleep, and spending time with the Sacred in meditation. It was an unbelievably nourishing four weeks.

A year later, I find it amazing that all of those intentions are still active in my life. Do I still eat junk food? Yes. Do I *need* it the way I used to? Not really. And most of all, the daily practices I started (going to bed on time and meditating) haven’t gone away. The deep connection I was craving with loved ones and Spirit is being met more satisfyingly than ever. Amazing.

What does this have to do with organizing?

Good question. When you clear out what you no longer want and things that don’t truly serve you, you create space. This space, in turn, creates room for the things you really do want. And before you know it, these new behaviors become a healthy habit.

So when you clear off your desk and you get rid of the trinkets that annoy you and get in your way, you create space. Suddenly there is room for you to work and think… and suddenly your bank registers are balanced and you find that *thing* you were looking for. And you want to keep it that way.

And when you go through the file cabinet and empty out the old papers that feel depressing or guilt-ridden, you create space. You can b r e a t h e ! And in that space, you make room for a new product idea or a new client or a new project you can’t wait to begin.And you feel confident about future efforts.

So maybe you won’t observe Lent this year… but maybe you can discover the beauty of making space in your life by clearing out something that doesn’t serve you. Consider embracing the idea that by consciously choosing to let something go, you make room for the things you crave most and that nourish you deeply.

4 comments

After an incredible, nourishing retreat with eight fantastic women, I’m down to one box of stuff and a suitcase full of laundry. As soon as I set my intention to clean up and put things away, I could feel tears spring to my eyes. It’s just cleaning up, right? Why the emotion and the resistance to doing simple tasks?

That’s because there’s more going on than meets the eye. Clearing is a symbolic act of breaking apart something I gave my whole heart and soul to. It’s a symbolic ending of a precious time with precious souls. My resistance to cleaning up, I’m discovering, has very little to do with practical clean-up steps and everything to do with a sincere need for feeling sorrow as I am letting go.
Instead of wiping away tears and forcing myself through the process, I pause.

I reach into the box and hold an object in my hand. I pause to remember the others who held it too. Then I put it away where it belongs. Reaching in for another item, I smile at the stories that were shared and my memories of their faces. And I put it away. I pull out an item that reminds me of something I learned and as I store it, I make note of the learning and the lessons I gained.

I take my time. I make space for tears of gratitude.

One object at a time. One memory at a time.

Halfway through the box, I realize that my procrastination was an attempt to give myself the space I needed to feel and remember and honor what I created. What we created together. Now that I’m consciously claiming the time my heart really needs, it’s easier to move each item to its home and create new homes for others. I feel sadness, but I’m in flow.

It takes courage to face feelings of sadness, regret, and loss. It takes courage because feeling emotion is heart work, not head work. Our heart processes at a different pace than the brain does and it requires us to slow down, to pay attention, and most of all, to honor our truth.
As I finish up the last of the box and my laundry churns in the washer, I can feel gratitude welling up where only sadness was just a moment earlier. The feelings shifted by moving gently through each item and now I feel grateful, grounded and free.

Ever struggle with letting go? Share your experiences below. I love hearing from you.

xo,
Jen

6 comments