Jessica, I love the idea of talking to yourself as you would your best friend. I had that thought in my yoga class a couple months ago and slowly, but surely, it is changing the way I talk to myself. I have also try to use language with myself as if I was my 5 year old self- which I feel I still am in many ways! We would never hold a child to the same standards as we do ourselves, I hope!!

Anyways, I have created my own little way of working productively and it basically is working in short bursts of effectiveness with the rest of the day open to puttering. i make a list of the MOST important things I need to do today, put the amount of time i expect it to take next to the item -i.e. call Kaiser for reimbursement (20), highlight the most important three so i know what to do first- or what to do before i go to bed! and then sum up how much work i’ve got on the list. if it is more than 3-4 hours worth then i choose what to do later in the week. i can’t be that focused-productive for longer than that. As I start each item I set my iPhone timer to keep me on track (I’m HIGHLY distracted!) and this also helps me estimate more accurately how long certain items take.

And there’s always space for a few tangents- like this post!!

Thanks, Jen. You are such an inspiration and mentor for me. As you can tell by my new biz!!
.-= Regina´s last blog ..clear clutter and create simplicity… =-.

As I get older though, I realize that the “punishing process” truly robs me of my productive and creative juices. Remember that teeshirt that said “The Beatings will continue until morale improves? How can you expect positive results when you are in a negative frame of mind?

To get a new perspective, I take a brisk walk and listen to my MP3 player.

Lately when I forget or make a mistake–I also just blame it on menopause and march on!

Great tip, I will have to remember that and use it. The cup of tea sounds nice too

I’m glad I’m normal too!

I think my gremlin voices come from brainwashing. That voice certainly doesn’t come from my soul. It comes from a message I’ve heard somewhere along my way. I’ve probably heard it repeatedly. Maybe from a parent, a teacher, the tv, etc. So I brainwash myself with messages I do want to hear. Think of it as gremilin prevention.
The damage comes from believing the messages. I give myself a steady diet of messages that do make me feel good. I start every morning with a guided meditation & then listen to affirmations as I work out. Sometimes I use ones I buy, but sometimes I record them myself. I’d be glad to record some for you if you’d like.

Lyle – I love the suggestion of imagining the voice as farther away. Hmm. I’m going to play with that.

Qrystal – The voice is right at the beginning: “these things really have to be done because they’re late and people are depending on me.” The fog that comes after is often a result of emotional “flooding” (also known as overwhelm). I feel so much compassion for what you’re sharing. You *can* succeed. I’m glad you already know that. (hug) Oh, and do let me know the name of that program. Handy!

Mrs Green – I love it when those coincidences happen. It makes me feel like we’re all part of a global classroom, working on this most important lesson. Thanks for your comment!

Qrystal – sorry you are struggling right now; can you see me pushing the fog to one side to let a little light through for you to focus on?

Do you mind sharing what programme it is you are using to block sites? I could really use that tool as well!

A simple and free thing I use, if you’re a list maker is http://teuxdeux.com/ It’s nice to see those things getting crossed off your list.

Well Jen, you’ve inspired me, I love your NVC approach and Qrystal; I’m holding you in a vision of light with a smile on your face, feeling accomplished at the end of your successful day

Me too. I’m swimming in shoulds at the moment and I know it’s bad for me but these things really have to be done because they’re late and people are depending on me and I am struggling to find a way to be compassionate to myself about it.

My concerns/judgements don’t come as a voice at all, because nothing specific is said. I just feel like I am moving through jelly-like fog with everything I do, and my judgement is clouded by this fog and so I keep turning away from what I must do because in the short term, turning away from the stress makes it less intense. Then, of course, the urgency builds, and the fog thickens, making it harder to do the things it’s now even more important to do. Procrastination, spiraling out of control…

My next way of dealing with this has been activated, though: I set up a browser extension that blocks certain websites for twelve hours after I’ve been at any of them for about an hour. I’m hoping it’s a fairly compassionate way to say to myself, okay, that’s enough, you can go back later.

I’m hoping this new approach will feel freeing, not punishing. I want to be free to do the things I would love to have done, so that I can be free to do other things I would love to do. Reclaiming time from time sinks is a thing I’m doing for myself, out of love for the potential of all the great ideas I have. I only wish I could have my “site is blocked” page tell me something nice and assuring, but I suppose I can do that part myself. After all, with the sites blocked, their temptations can’t pull my attention towards them and foil my attempts at lovingly redirecting my attention elsewhere.

In case you were wondering: yes, I’m using this comment to convince me that I’m going to succeed.

I really like that term “Self Empathy”.

Another way to deal with that critical voice is to imagine it as farther away. That is, not standing on your shoulder but instead maybe standing 5 feet away. That way you can still hear the concerns (and parts of them ARE legitimate) but they don’t feel as shaming. And, if necessary you can tune them out more easily.

Lyle
.-= Lyle T. Lachmuth – The Unsticking Coach´s last blog ..It’s Just Pain =-.